Cold One

Weather forecast for tonight: dark. - George Carlin

I was so cold I almost got married. - Shelley Winters

Religions change; beer and wine remain. - Hervey Allen

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. - Unknown

You can never buy beer, you just rent it. - Archie Bunker

You bring your own weather to the picnic. - Harlan Coben

Cursing the weather is never good farming. - English Proverb

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. - Homer Simpson

Where does the white go when the snow melts? - Hugh Kieffer

Beer, it's the best damn drink in the world. - Jack Nicholson

An end is in sight to the severe weather shortage. - Ian Macaskill

We are cold to others only when we are dull in ourselves. - William Hazlitt

Ah, beer, my one weakness. My Achilles heel, if you will. - Homer Simpson

What two ideas are more inseparable than Beer and Britannia? - Sydney Smith

I'm only a beer teetotaller, not a champagne teetotaller. - George Bernard Shaw

I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve. - WC Fields

So comes snow after fire, and even dragons have their endings. - JRR Tolkien

Jon Snow: I'm not afraid to die.
Mormont: Nor life, I hope. - George R.R. Martin

Yachting: standing in a cold shower tearing up hundred-dollar bills. - Unknown

Everybody talks about the weather, but nobody does anything about it. - Charles Dudley Warner

In heaven there is no beer...
That's why we drink ours here. - Unknown

Conversation about the weather is the last refuge of the unimaginative. - Oscar Wilde

Wherever you go, no matter what the weather, always bring your own sunshine. - Anthony J. D'Angelo

I suppose the best kind of spring morning is the best weather God has to offer. - Dodie Smith

It is only in sorrow bad weather masters us; in joy we face the storm and defy it. - Amelia Barr

What good is the warmth of summer, without the cold of winter to give it sweetness. - John Steinbeck

Advice from your friends is like the weather, some of it is good, some of it is bad. - Unknown

I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining. - Groucho Marx

You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

There's one good thing about snow: it makes your lawn look as nice as your neighbor's. - Clyde Moore

The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. - Steven Wright

An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown

Just 'cause there's snow in the basement don't mean there ain't no fire in the roof! - Archie Bunker

Advice is like snow, the softer it falls the longer it dwells upon, and the deeper it sinks into the mind. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

They invented the three-day bank holiday weekend because you can't lump all the bad weather into just Saturday and Sunday. - Unknown

Everyone knows that ice cream is worth the trouble of being cold. Like all things virtuous, you have to suffer to gain the reward. - Brandon Sanderson

The trouble with weather forecasting is that it's right too often for us to ignore it, and wrong too often for us to rely on it. - Patrick Young

Iron rusts from disuse; stagnant water loses its purity and in cold weather becomes frozen; even so does inaction sap the vigor of the mind. - Leonardo da Vinci

A giraffe's coffee would be cold by the time it reached the bottom of its throat. Ever think about that? No. You only think about yourself. - Unknown