#1 humor site on the 'net

Cold One

Together on the prairies with a cold brewskie

Cold One thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
Head Cold: Rheum service - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Beer speaks. People mumble. - Tony McGee

I work until beer o'clock. - Stephen King

Weather forecast for tonight: dark. - George Carlin

I used to be Snow White, but I drifted. - Mae West

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. - Homer Simpson

Where does the white go when the snow melts? - Hugh Kieffer

Climate is what we expect. Weather is what we get. - Mark Twain

The New Year begins in a snow-storm of white vows. - George William Curtis

An end is in sight to the severe weather shortage. - Ian Macaskill

Was the ground cold when you crawled out this morning? - Henny Youngman

The scalded dog fears hot water, and afterwards, cold. - Italian Proverb

Fancy Restaurant: One that serves cold soup on purpose - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Wilhelm II

This is perfect weather for today's game. Not a breath of air. - Curt Gowdy

Jon Snow: I'm not afraid to die.
Mormont: Nor life, I hope. - George R.R. Martin

Sadness is more or less like a head cold - with patience, it passes. - Barbara Kingsolver

People who take cold baths never have rheumatism, but they have cold baths. - American Proverb

I love Halloween: the cold air, the spooky dangers lurking around the corner. - Evan Peters

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin

Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won't cure a cold. - Jerry Vale

Grantartica: The cold, isolated place where art companies dwell without funding - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

As soon go kindle fire with snow, as seek to quench the fire of love with words. - William Shakespeare

It is only in sorrow bad weather masters us; in joy we face the storm and defy it. - Amelia Barr

I came from Canada, where it's freezing cold for seven months out of the year. - Rachelle Lefevre

You know you're a mom when you understand why mama bear's porridge was cold. - Jody Defries

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. - Jeff Valdez

Kidney: 1. Midpoint of a child's leg; 2. An organ used to convert beer into urine. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A bad cold wouldn't be so annoying if it weren't for the advice of our friends. - Kin Hubbard

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

It's not my fault I was dragged out of my house by a mob and forced to predict the weather. - Punxsutawney Phil

Just 'cause there's snow in the basement don't mean there ain't no fire in the roof! - Archie Bunker

Advice is like snow, the softer it falls the longer it dwells upon, and the deeper it sinks into the mind. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Courage is not the towering oak that sees storms come and go; it is the fragile blossom that opens in the snow. - Alice M Swaim

They invented the three-day bank holiday weekend because you can't lump all the bad weather into just Saturday and Sunday. - Unknown

I put my air conditioner in backwards. It got cold outside. The weatherman on TV was confused. "It was supposed to be hot today." - Steven Wright

Iron rusts from disuse; stagnant water loses its purity and in cold weather becomes frozen; even so does inaction sap the vigor of the mind. - Leonardo da Vinci

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown

A giraffe's coffee would be cold by the time it reached the bottom of its throat. Ever think about that? No. You only think about yourself. - Unknown

NBC News just called it "The Great Freeze" - coldest weather in years. Is our country still spending money on the global warming hoax? - Donald Trump


Benched Puppies

Water Relief

Shot Glasses

Men in Denim

Chocolate Couch

Ant Attack

Extreme Pressure Cooker

Just Thinking

Nothing Wrong Picture

Lipstick Dog

Hair Strengthener

Whale Photobomb

World Peas

Hide and Seek

Hoodie Onesy

Going Around In Circles

Whiskey Jig

Redneck Mercedes

Hala Fruit

Hydro Water Power

Selfie Shoes

Tons Of Anarchy

Science World

Da Hood Shirt