Cold One

Beer speaks. People mumble. - Tony McGee

Payday came and with it beer. - Rudyard Kipling

I work until beer o'clock. - Stephen King

Weather forecast for tonight: dark. - George Carlin

I was so cold I almost got married. - Shelley Winters

I used to be Snow White, but I drifted. - Mae West

You bring your own weather to the picnic. - Harlan Coben

Cursing the weather is never good farming. - English Proverb

Where does the white go when the snow melts? - Hugh Kieffer

Climate is what we expect. Weather is what we get. - Mark Twain

The New Year begins in a snow-storm of white vows. - George William Curtis

An end is in sight to the severe weather shortage. - Ian Macaskill

We are cold to others only when we are dull in ourselves. - William Hazlitt

Ah, beer, my one weakness. My Achilles heel, if you will. - Homer Simpson

I'm only a beer teetotaller, not a champagne teetotaller. - George Bernard Shaw

It is best to read the weather forecasts before we pray for rain. - Mark Twain

Everybody talks about the weather, but nobody does anything about it. - Charles Dudley Warner

Conversation about the weather is the last refuge of the unimaginative. - Oscar Wilde

She walked across the ballroom as if she were trudging through deep snow. - Noel Coward

Wherever you go, no matter what the weather, always bring your own sunshine. - Anthony J. D'Angelo

I love Halloween: the cold air, the spooky dangers lurking around the corner. - Evan Peters

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin

What good is the warmth of summer, without the cold of winter to give it sweetness. - John Steinbeck

I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining. - Groucho Marx

You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx

Let's get an extended weather forecast from a jittery, inconsistent, reddish brown rodent. - Unknown

There's one good thing about snow: it makes your lawn look as nice as your neighbor's. - Clyde Moore

It's not my fault I was dragged out of my house by a mob and forced to predict the weather. - Punxsutawney Phil

An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown

Be careful not to complain about anything, even the weather, since I am the Author of your circumstances. - Sarah Young

Advice is like snow, the softer it falls the longer it dwells upon, and the deeper it sinks into the mind. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain. - Robert Frost

The Eskimos had fifty-two names for snow because it was important to them: there ought to be as many for love. - Margaret Atwood

They invented the three-day bank holiday weekend because you can't lump all the bad weather into just Saturday and Sunday. - Unknown

Life is no different than the weather. Not only is it unpredictable, but it shows us a new perspective of the world every day. - Suzy Kassem

Don't knock the weather. Nine-tenths of the people couldn't start a conversation if it didn't change once in a while. - Kin Hubbard

The trouble with weather forecasting is that it's right too often for us to ignore it, and wrong too often for us to rely on it. - Patrick Young

I put my air conditioner in backwards. It got cold outside. The weatherman on TV was confused. "It was supposed to be hot today." - Steven Wright

A giraffe's coffee would be cold by the time it reached the bottom of its throat. Ever think about that? No. You only think about yourself. - Unknown

If you sang "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" and counted all the numbers mentioned throughout the entire song, it would add up to 14,850. - Joe-kster