Cold One

Weather forecast for tonight: dark. - George Carlin

I used to be Snow White, but I drifted. - Mae West

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. - Unknown

You can never buy beer, you just rent it. - Archie Bunker

You bring your own weather to the picnic. - Harlan Coben

Cursing the weather is never good farming. - English Proverb

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. - Homer Simpson

Never underestimate the value of cold cash. - Gregory Nunn

Where does the white go when the snow melts? - Hugh Kieffer

Beer, it's the best damn drink in the world. - Jack Nicholson

Climate is what we expect. Weather is what we get. - Mark Twain

An end is in sight to the severe weather shortage. - Ian Macaskill

Ah, beer, my one weakness. My Achilles heel, if you will. - Homer Simpson

I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve. - WC Fields

So comes snow after fire, and even dragons have their endings. - JRR Tolkien

It is best to read the weather forecasts before we pray for rain. - Mark Twain

Ah, good ol' trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die. - Homer Simpson

Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II

This is perfect weather for today's game. Not a breath of air. - Curt Gowdy

Jon Snow: I'm not afraid to die.
Mormont: Nor life, I hope. - George R.R. Martin

Yachting: standing in a cold shower tearing up hundred-dollar bills. - Unknown

Conversation about the weather is the last refuge of the unimaginative. - Oscar Wilde

Wherever you go, no matter what the weather, always bring your own sunshine. - Anthony J. D'Angelo

News events are like Texas weather. If you don't like it, wait a minute. - Jessica Savitch

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin

Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won't cure a cold. - Jerry Vale

As soon go kindle fire with snow, as seek to quench the fire of love with words. - William Shakespeare

A cold wind was blowing from the north, and it made the trees rustle like living things. - George R.R. Martin

I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining. - Groucho Marx

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

Let's get an extended weather forecast from a jittery, inconsistent, reddish brown rodent. - Unknown

It's not my fault I was dragged out of my house by a mob and forced to predict the weather. - Punxsutawney Phil

Just 'cause there's snow in the basement don't mean there ain't no fire in the roof! - Archie Bunker

A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold. - Ogden Nash

Life is no different than the weather. Not only is it unpredictable, but it shows us a new perspective of the world every day. - Suzy Kassem

Don't knock the weather. Nine-tenths of the people couldn't start a conversation if it didn't change once in a while. - Kin Hubbard

The trouble with weather forecasting is that it's right too often for us to ignore it, and wrong too often for us to rely on it. - Patrick Young

I put my air conditioner in backwards. It got cold outside. The weatherman on TV was confused. "It was supposed to be hot today." - Steven Wright

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown

A giraffe's coffee would be cold by the time it reached the bottom of its throat. Ever think about that? No. You only think about yourself. - Unknown