#1 humor site on the 'net

Commemorative Pistol

Congress adopts new policy for gun control

Ruger is coming out with a new pistol in honor of the United States Senate and the House of Representatives. It will be named the 'Congressman.' It doesn't work and you can't fire it.
Commemorative Pistol thanks to Jim Serritella

Ruger's new firearm shoots close to home

QuotaBills
Shoot folly as it flies. - Alexander Pope

Leave the gun, take the cannoli. - The Godfather

Never shoot more than you can eat. - Unknown

Sharpen your weapons and limit your frontiers. - Roman Military Saying

Big shots are only little shots who keep shooting. - Christopher Morley

Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope. - George Burns

Music - what a powerful instrument, what a mighty weapon! - Maria Augusta von Trapp

Fox hunting is the unspeakable in pursuit of the inedible. - Oscar Wilde

If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer? - Steven Wright

Prose is a museum, where all the old weapons of poetry are kept. - T.E. Hulme

Hunting isn't just something I do. It's part of who I am. - Unknown

When the hares have all been caught, the hunting dogs are cooked. - Laozi

Diploma: 1. Da man dat fixes your pipes; 2. A job-hunting license. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter. - Mark Twain

Those who hammer their guns into plows will plow for those who do not. - Thomas Jefferson

Shoot a few scenes out of focus. I want to win the foreign film award. - Billy Wilder

Problem solving is hunting. It is savage pleasure and we are born to it. - Thomas Harris

You can get a lot farther with a kind word and a gun than a kind word alone. - Al Capone

There's something fundamentally wrong with bringing a knife to a gun fight. - Sean Connery

It is much easier to imagine ghastly new biological weapons than to create them. - Andrew Pollack

Let everyone leave all the guns - British guns and Irish guns - outside the door. - Martin McGuinness

It's better to have a gun and need it, than to not have a gun and not need it. - Ricky

I'm a Catholic deer hunter. I am happy to be clinging to my guns and my religion. - Paul Ryan

Like trying a man's finger for having pulled the trigger of a gun which murdered someone. - Malcolm Muggeridge

Consultants are people who come down from the hill to shoot the wounded after the battle is over. - Doc Blakeley

The difference between a gun and a tree is a difference of tempo. The tree explodes every spring. - Ezra Pound

If you turn the imagination loose like a hunting dog, it will often return with the bird in its mouth. - William Maxwell

I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones. - Albert Einstein

Humour is the weapon of unarmed people: it helps people who are oppressed to smile at the situation that pains them. - Simon Wiesenthal

Only think of two things - the gun and the tape. When you hear the one, just run like hell until you break the other. - Sam Mussabini

I am getting to an age when I can only enjoy the last sport left. It is called 'hunting for your spectacles.' - Edward Grey

The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun. - P G Wodehouse

A tom cat hijacked a plane, stuck a pistol into the pilot's ribs and demanded, "Take me to the Canaries." - Bob Monkhouse

I was court-martialled in my absence and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence. - Brendan Behan

Ideas are far more powerful than guns. We don't allow our enemies to have guns, why should we allow them to have ideas. - Joseph Stalin

Unless a man has considerable skill and reliance in his weapon, he will not remain cool in the presence of dangerous game close by. - Townsend Whelen

I come bearing an olive branch in one hand, and the freedom fighter's gun in the other. Do not let the olive branch fall from my hand. - Yasser Arafat

Paul Revere was warning the British about gun control, and George Washington apparently was crossing the Delaware to bomb an abortion clinic. - Bill Maher

When I came back to Dublin, I was courtmartialled in my absence and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence. - Brendan Behan

Sex is like an atom bomb. A potent weapon which fascinates and frightens. We're afraid to let it loose, yet we all have our finger on the button. - Zeena Schreck


Political Promise Transporter

Jam Packed Suitcase

All White Meat

Alien Moon Landing

Nothing But Net

Bible Bar

Branding Inspiration for Graphic Designers

Original Homeland Security - 2nd Amendment

Sunday Weather Forecast

On The Eighth Day

Moses Parting the Ice Field

Texas Limo

No Smoking Fish

New Brunswick Swimming Pools

Box Car

Night Shift for a Computer Geek

Meep Meep

German Emergency Road Share

Bus Stop

Tell Me Why You Can't Work

The Last Photo I Took

Saskatchewan Harley

Secret Passage

PLZSTOP