Copper Floor

Marry money. - Max Shulman

Gentlemen prefer bonds. - Andrew Mellon

Too much money ain't enough money. - Lil Wayne

He does not own money whose money owns him. - St. Cyprian

I bought a million lottery tickets. I won a dollar. - Steven Wright

Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed. - George Burns

Why is there so much month left at the end of the money? - Unknown

I love to go to Washington - if only to be near my money. - Bob Hope

Government always finds a need for whatever money it gets. - Ronald Reagan

It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money. - WC Fields

I like my money right where I can see it: hanging in my closet. - Carrie Bradshaw

When it is a matter of money, all men are of the same religion. - Voltaire

Opportunity dances with those who are already on the dance floor. - Jackson Brown

If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars. - J Paul Getty

I spent all my money on a FAX machine. Now I can only FAX collect. - Steven Wright

Life is not having been told that the man has just waxed the floor. - Ogden Nash

Never criticize Americans. They have the best taste that money can buy. - Miles Kington

My honeymoon night was spent on the floor in the bathroom with my mother. - Ronnie Spector

I am fiercely loyal to those willing to put their money where my mouth is. - Paul Harvey

Time is money, especially when you're talking to a lawyer or an accountant. - Joe-kster

Architect: One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money. - Ambrose Bierce

The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it back in your pocket. - Will Rogers

Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need more. (Friend or Money!) - Unknown

Money and success don't change people; they merely amplify what is already there. - Will Smith

Sometimes I question my sanity, but the unicorn and gummy bears told me I'm fine! - Muppets

If you want to find money, focus on people. If you want to lose people, focus on money. - Rob Liano

I don't work out. If God wanted us to bend over, he'd put diamonds on the floor. - Joan Rivers

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

In Las Vegas, a man said to his wife, "Give me the money I told you not to give me." - Henny Youngman

Artists are blessed to travel all over the world. They see the trends before they even come out. - Tina Knowles

Many commit the same crime with very different results. One bears a cross for his crime, the other a crown. - Juvenal

Laughter is the mind's intonation. There are ways of laughing which have the sound of counterfeit coins. - Edmond de Goncourt

Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching. - Satchel Paige

America is a country where half the money is spent buying food, and the other half is spent trying to lose weight. - Unknown

We so often achieve success or financial independence after the chief reason for which we sought it has passed away. - Ellen Glasgow

Always remember money isn't everything - but also remember to make a lot of it before talking such fool nonsense. - Earl Wilson

I've never sought success in order to get fame and money; it's the talent and the passion that count in success. - Ingrid Bergman

Money is like gasoline during a road trip. You don't want to run out of gas on your trip, but you're not doing a tour of gas stations. - Tim O'Reilly

Commerce: A kind of transaction in which A plunders from B the goods of C, and for compensation B picks the pocket of D of money belonging to E. - Ambrose Bierce

A three year old child is a being who gets almost as much fun out of a fifty-six dollar set of swings as it does out of finding a small green worm. - Bill Vaughan