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Cow Gate

Proof of livestock intelligence in Texas

Cow Gate thanks to Barry McCartney

Illiterate cattle not welcome at this farm

QuotaBills
Olfactory: Texas petroleum refinery - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Sacred cows make the best hamburger. - Mark Twain

Vice-President: A cow's fifth teat. - Harry S Truman

Milk the cow but do not pull off the udder. - Greek Proverb

Parts of Texas look like Kansas with a goiter. - Unknown

We can dance on pinheads till the cows come home. - Alastair Campbell

I never saw anything funnier than Texas politics. - Molly Ivins

Going to law is losing a cow for the sake of a cat. - Mark Twain

Texas is a hotbed of insanely good bands and musicians. - Henry Rollins

Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq. - Fran Lebowitz

I had rather be on my farm than be emperor of the world. - George Washington

Farm: What a city man dreams of at 5 P.M., never at 5 A.M. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

In plain Texas talk, it's 'do the right thing'. - Ross Perot

Heifer cow is better than none, but this is no time for puns. - Groucho Marx

All the good ideas I ever had came to me while I was milking a cow. - Grant Wood

Texas is now a cornerstone of the electoral college for Republicans. - Ed Gillespie

You should never hesitate to trade your cow for a handful of magic beans. - Tom Robbins

You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans. - George Carlin

We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas. - Red Skelton

The landscape of Texas is in all my work. It's that light; it's that sky. - Robert Wilson

Texas has yet to learn submission to any oppression, come from what source it may. - Sam Houston

How can you look at the Texas legislature and still believe in intelligent design? - Kinky Friedman

Abundance: 1. Big party held in a bakery; 2. A social event held in a farm building. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I thought I knew Texas pretty well, but I had no notion of its size until I campaigned it. - Ann Richards

Some folks look at me and see a certain swagger, which in Texas is called 'walking.' - George W. Bush

Texas could exist without the United States but the United States cannot exist without Texas. - Sam Houston

I was in a sushi bar and it dawned on me - how could I discriminate between a cow and a fish? - Carre Otis

At the door of life, by the gate of breath, there are worse things waiting for men than death. - A.C. Swinburne The Triumph Of Time

Life on a farm is a school of patience. You can't hurry the crops or make an ox in two days. - Haneri Liogier

Most of my memories of Texas are of mosquitoes, watermelons, crickets, and my brother teasing me. - Robin Wright

Bill Gates is a very rich man today, and do you want to know why? The answer is one word: versions. - Dave Barry

I don't think I'm a celebrity. I'm just a guy from east Texas who loves cars and airplanes. - Carroll Shelby

If I don't work, I'll be sitting on the couch watching TV, eating popcorn and getting like a cow. - Celia Cruz

When I make a vow to God, then I would suggest to you that's even stronger than a handshake in Texas. - Rick Perry

The reason gas prices are so high is because the oil is in Texas and Oklahoma and all the dipsticks are in Washington. - Yakov Smirnoff

Hunters will tell you that a moose is a wily and ferocious forest creature. Nonsense. A moose is a cow drawn by a three-year-old. - Bill Bryson

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze

Canada is like an old cow. The West feeds it. Ontario and Quebec milk it. And you can well imagine what it's doing in the Maritimes. - Tommy Douglas

Perseverance is a great element of success; if you only knock long enough and loud enough at the gate, you are sure to wake up somebody. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

You're supposed to eat the cows. They're great big lumbering, stupid things - they'd be everywhere if we didn't eat them. - Dylan Moran


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