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Cow Gate

Proof of livestock intelligence in Texas

Cow Gate thanks to Barry McCartney

Illiterate cattle not welcome at this farm

QuotaBills
In the dark, all cows are black. - German Proverb

Olfactory: Texas petroleum refinery - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Vice-President: A cow's fifth teat. - Harry S Truman

Milk the cow but do not pull off the udder. - Greek Proverb

Why buy a cow if you can get the milk for free. - English Proverb

De-caffeinated: What a cow gets when it has a baby - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Texas is a hotbed of insanely good bands and musicians. - Henry Rollins

I had rather be on my farm than be emperor of the world. - George Washington

Love is the master key which opens the gates of happiness. - Unknown

Farm: What a city man dreams of at 5 P.M., never at 5 A.M. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

In plain Texas talk, it's 'do the right thing'. - Ross Perot

Heifer cow is better than none, but this is no time for puns. - Groucho Marx

Mrs. O'Leary's cow is sorry, but Cleveland burned anyway. - Archie Bunker

All the good ideas I ever had came to me while I was milking a cow. - Grant Wood

The folks in Mississippi are saying, 'Thank God for Texas.' - Kinky Friedman

Traveling through hyperspace ain't like dusting crops, farm boy. - Han Solo

Texas is now a cornerstone of the electoral college for Republicans. - Ed Gillespie

We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas. - Red Skelton

News events are like Texas weather. If you don't like it, wait a minute. - Jessica Savitch

The landscape of Texas is in all my work. It's that light; it's that sky. - Robert Wilson

How can you look at the Texas legislature and still believe in intelligent design? - Kinky Friedman

Being from Texas, I would say I favor a pair of jeans you can wear some boots with. - Jensen Ackles

Abundance: 1. Big party held in a bakery; 2. A social event held in a farm building. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Mankind has a free will; but it is free to milk cows and to build houses, nothing more. - Martin Luther

Texas could exist without the United States but the United States cannot exist without Texas. - Sam Houston

I was in a sushi bar and it dawned on me - how could I discriminate between a cow and a fish? - Carre Otis

At the door of life, by the gate of breath, there are worse things waiting for men than death. - A.C. Swinburne The Triumph Of Time

The definition of insanity in Texas is so insane that it's impossible to be insane in Texas. - Malcolm McDowell

Bill Gates is a very rich man today, and do you want to know why? The answer is one word: versions. - Dave Barry

What a pity Hell's gates are not kept by O'Flynn
The surly old dog would let nobody in. - Patrick Ireland

Bond reflected that good Americans were fine people and that most of them seemed to come from Texas. - Ian Fleming

If I don't work, I'll be sitting on the couch watching TV, eating popcorn and getting like a cow. - Celia Cruz

I'm a farm boy. If we need five people to haul in hay, we don't take one and just work them to death. - Lincoln Davis

Both in thought and in feeling, even though time be real, to realise the unimportance of time is the gate of wisdom. - Bertrand Russell

The reason gas prices are so high is because the oil is in Texas and Oklahoma and all the dipsticks are in Washington. - Yakov Smirnoff

For almost seventy years the life insurance industry has been a smug sacred cow feeding the public a steady line of sacred bull. - Ralph Nader

Hunters will tell you that a moose is a wily and ferocious forest creature. Nonsense. A moose is a cow drawn by a three-year-old. - Bill Bryson

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze

You're supposed to eat the cows. They're great big lumbering, stupid things - they'd be everywhere if we didn't eat them. - Dylan Moran

The other day I dreamed that I was at the gates of heaven.
And Saint Peter said, "Go back to Earth. There are no slums up here." - Mother Teresa


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