Cowboy Baby Carrier

Birth patrol pills. - Archie Bunker

Genius is sorrow's child. - John Adams

A child is a curly dimpled lunatic. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Deceitful: Infant who needs changing - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Stoic: De boid what brings de babies - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Ballroom: A nursery for crying babies - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

It is a wise father that knows his own child. - William Shakespeare

Howling Success: The baby that gets picked up - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Infancy conforms to nobody; all conform to it. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

A baby is an inestimable blessing and a bother. - Mark Twain

Distinct: How a child says something smelled bad. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Bison: What you say when your child leaves for school - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on. - Carl Sandburg

A child can ask questions that a wise man cannot answer. - Unknown

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

The only thing worth stealing is a kiss from a sleeping child. - Joe Houldsworth

There is never a problem child; there is only a problem parent. - A.S. Neill

Having a baby is like trying to push a grand piano through a transom. - Alice Roosevelt Longworth

Intellectual growth should commence at birth and cease only at death. - Albert Einstein

Creative play is like a spring that bubbles up from deep within a child. - Joan Almon

Back then the women had babies, which they called in them days, begatten. - Archie Bunker

Baby: a loud noise at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other. - Ronald Knox

Four very powerful words to say to your child: "I believe in you." - Kevin Heath

There never was a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him asleep. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Chid: A young person who does not wish to be referred to as a child or a kid - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test. - George W. Bush

As a child, my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it. - Buddy Hackett

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he's a baby. - Natalie Wood

Have you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born? - Benny Hill

The most effective form of birth control I know is spending the day with my kids. - Jill Bensley

The only time a woman wishes she were a year older is when she is expecting a baby. - Mary Marsh

The firsts go away - first love, first baby, first kiss. You have to create new ones. - Sarah Jessica Parker

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

As a child, I always chose a false nose and some face paint and a wig for my birthday. - Ashley Jensen

Kidney: 1. Midpoint of a child's leg; 2. An organ used to convert beer into urine. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

No one escapes his fate, not the coward, nor the brakeman, from the moment of his birth. - Homer

It's one of the great urban myths that people get pregnant in order to have children. - Menzies Campbell

People always ask me, "Were you funny as a child?" Well, no, I was an accountant. - Ellen DeGeneres

What is so real as the cry of a child? A rabbit's cry may be wilder but it has no soul. - Sylvia Plath

It's easier to build up a child than it is to repair an adult. Choose your words wisely. - Unknown

Golden Age: When the kids are too old to need baby-sitters and too young to borrow the family car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather. - Jeff Foxworthy

A library should be the delivery room for the birth of ideas - a place where history comes to life. - Norman Cousins

When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child... eventually. - Steven Wright

I was such an ugly baby. My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend. - Rodney Dangerfield

As a child, I was subjected to a lot of spaghetti Westerns and hated them. I wanted the Indians to win. - Kara Walker

If the loss of shame was the child of secularization, the loss of reason is the child of pluralization. - Ravi Zacharias

This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer. - Will Rogers

You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy

One thing I had learned from watching chimpanzees with their infants is that having a child should be fun. - Jane Goodall

The child should gain no request by anger; when he is quiet let him be offered what was refused when he wept. - Seneca

Success is the child of drudgery and perseverance. It cannot be coaxed or bribed; pay the price and it is yours. - Orison Swett Marden

There's no such thing as a tough child - if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender. - WC Fields

Do you think you're safe in a car with your seatbelt on? Dream on. My friend thought so. Now she's pregnant. - Anke Engelke

The vivacity of children is always charming, because it is always sincere. A grave child is a rose without fragrance. - Unknown

Menopause: because nature decided that pregnancy, labor, delivery, breastfeeding, and stretch marks wasn't enough. - Unknown

Spare the rod and spoil the child - that is true. But, beside the rod, keep an apple to give him when he has done well. - Martin Luther

There's nothing that can help you understand your beliefs more than trying to explain them to an inquisitive child. - Frank A. Clark

Every time a child says, "I don't believe in fairies," there is a little fairy somewhere that falls down dead. - Sir James M. Barrie

He adopted a role called being a father so that his child would have something mythical and infinitely important: a protector. - Tom Wolfe

The wise man is but a clever infant, spelling letters from a hieroglyphical prophetic book, the lexicon of which lies in eternity. - Thomas Carlyle

It takes someone really brave to be a mother, someone strong to raise a child, and someone special to love someone more than herself. - Unknown

Mancation: A man's vacation. Generally includes lots of beer, a Redneck grill, slabs of meat for cooking and a sack of fireworks. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Life is a child playing around your feet, a tool you hold firmly in your grip, a bench you sit down upon in the evening, in your garden. - Jean Anouilh

Without this playing with fantasy no creative work has ever yet come to birth. The debt we owe to the play of the imagination is incalculable. - Carl Jung