#1 humor site on the 'net

Cowmodo Dragon

Darwin proves evolution of the cow

Cowmodo Dragon thanks to Mel Hardman

QuotaBills
Europe: Next one to bat. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Lawsuits: Clothes worn by an attorney - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Always speak politely to an enraged Dragon. - Steven Brust

You haven't been bit till a dragon does it. - Tamora Pierce

Vampire Bat: What Dracula uses to play baseball - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Diets, like clothes, should be tailored to you. - Joan Rivers

Problems are only opportunities in work clothes. - Henry J Kaiser

Motivation is when your dreams put on work clothes. - Milton Berle

For Fang, getting out of bed in the morning is a career move. - Phyllis Diller

Women's Clothes: Go to extremes, but seldom to extremities - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

When the prison doors are opened, the real dragon will fly out. - Ho Chi Minh

The sage wears rough clothing and holds the jewel in his heart. - Lao-Tzu

There were dragons to slay in the old days. Nixon was a good dragon. - Pat Oliphant

Fang drops so much food on his ties we keep them in the refrigerator. - Phyllis Diller

It is ever so much easier to be good if your clothes are fashionable. - L.M. Montgomery

Excise: The clothes hanging in your closet that fit before the holidays. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations, if you live near one. - JRR Tolkien

Heroes take journeys, confront dragons, and discover the treasure of their true selves. - Carol Pearson

I'm not so much a dragon slayer, more a dragon annoyer - I'm a dragon irritater. - Craig Ferguson

She looked as if she had been poured into her clothes and had forgotten to say 'when'. - P G Wodehouse

I always wanted to ride a dragon myself, so I decided to do this for a year in my imagination. - Cornelia Funke

I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about short and cheap? - Phyllis Diller

Hamper: A wicker container with a lid, usually surrounded by, but not containing, dirty clothing - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

We are our own dragons as well as our own heroes, and we have to rescue ourselves from ourselves. - Tom Robbins

I got rabies shots for biting the head off a bat but that's OK - the bat had to get Ozzy shots. - Ozzy Osbourne

The clothes in themselves do not make a statement. The woman makes the statement and the dress helps. - Jean Muir

Mid-life crisis is that moment when you realize your children and your clothes are about the same age. - William D Tammeus

Americans should not go abroad to slay dragons they do not understand in the name of spreading democracy. - John Quincy Adams

The baby bat
Screamed out in fright,
'Turn on the dark,
I'm afraid of the light.' - Shel Silverstein

Just because I have rice on my clothes doesn't mean I've been to a wedding. A Chinese man threw up on me. - Phyllis Diller

She wore far too much rouge last night and not quite enough clothes. That is always a sign of despair in a woman. - Oscar Wilde

You can't just carry everyone else's hopes and fears around in your backpack and expect to stand up straight. - David Kirk

The blazing wings of dawn spirited me away, Dragon-swift above the suns-rise, flying to my destiny beyond the clouds. - Marc Secchia

Fairy tales are more than true: not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten. - Neil Gaiman

Any woman who has attempted to slip a credit card into an inch-deep trouser pocket knows about the annoying puzzle of women's clothing: pockets rarely work. - Christina Binkley

My first ballet class was on a basketball court. I'm in my gym clothes and my socks trying to do this thing called ballet. I didn't know anything about it. - Misty Copeland

It is possible that mankind is on the threshold of a golden age; but, if so, it will be necessary first to slay the dragon that guards the door, and this dragon is religion. - Bertrand Russell

Mathematical rigor is like clothing: in its style it ought to suit the occasion, and it diminishes comfort and restrains freedom of movement if it is neither too loose or too tight. - G.F. Simmons

Puff, the Magic Dragon, lived by the sea, and frolicked in the Autumn Mist in a land called Honah Lee, little Jacky Paper loved that rascal Puff, and gave him strings and sealing wax and other fancy stuff. - Peter Yarrow

Garbage: 1. Aromatic computer output; 2. A collection of refuse items, the taking out of which Mom assigns to a different family member each week, then winds up doing herself; 3. Period after the Ice Age when everyone put on clothes. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com


Grow A Boyfriend

Mars Images

Drumset Motorcycle

Brick Shoes

Custer's Last Stand?

Hand Held Tourist

Curly Heels

Bottle Sneakret

Removed Posts

Second Hand Work

Ostrich Fill Up

Calory Bomb

Interuption Charge

Reach For Your Dreams

Perception

Jeopardy Measuring Cup

All We Have To Do Is Stand Up

Vacuum Extender

BrownEes

Chinese Puzzle Car

Always Give 100% At Work

Ancient Politician

My Toaster Is Broken

Shining Stars