Dent Wizard

Afford: Popular type of car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Life is too short for traffic. - Dan Bellack

Didn't he take the exercise tax off cars? - Archie Bunker

The time to repair the roof is when the sun is shining. - John F Kennedy

Auto racing began 5 minutes after the second car was built. - Henry Ford

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

The beaten path is the safest, but the traffic's terrible. - Jeff Taylor

I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright

It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men. - Frederick Douglass

If you scratch a cynic, you'll find a disappointed idealist. - George Carlin

The shortest distance between two points is usually under repair. - Unknown

To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner

When a police officer tells you to stay in the car, you stay in the car. - Reese Witherspoon

Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches. - Alice Roosevelt Longworth

Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn't block traffic. - Dan Rather

Keep your bike in good repair: motorcycle boots are not comfortable for walking. - Unknown

This is the machine age. The only thing people do by hand is scratch themselves. - Joe Laurie

I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds and fast cars... the rest I squandered. - George Best

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip

If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe. - Carl Sagan

Drive-in banks were established so most of the cars today could see their real owners. - E. Joseph Crossman

I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push. - Rodney Dangerfield

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times. - Tim Allen

My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder." - Steven Wright

Police officers may drive black and white cars, however what goes on in their job is a lot of gray. - Arik Matson

When Henry Ford made cheap, reliable cars people said, 'Nah, what's wrong with a horse?' - Elon Musk

My husband is so good at home repairs that they have a special VIP area for him in the emergency room. - Unknown

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pick-up truck, and end up with a station wagon. - Tim Allen

The average auto owner drives so blamed reckless I'm glad that he does git robbed when he pays a repair bill. - Kin Hubbard

Life's golden age is when the children are too old to need babysitters and too young to borrow the family car. - Unknown

Do you think you're safe in a car with your seatbelt on? Dream on. My friend thought so. Now she's pregnant. - Anke Engelke

A relationship without trust is like a car without gas. You can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere. - Jay Shetty

I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare

I'm amazed that my wife and I created two human beings from scratch, yet struggle to assemble the most basic of IKEA cabinets. - John Kinnear

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

I'm finally starting to scratch the surface of what women want. And I think the answer lies somewhere between conversation and chocolate. - Mel Gibson

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright