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Dog Training for Dummies

Reading between the lines comes easy for canines

Dog Training for Dummies thanks to Jim Serritella

QuotaBills
Love me, love my dog. - English Proverb

Sleeping dogs bark the loudest. - Archie Bunker

A hard dog to keep on the porch. - Hillary Clinton

A dog has the soul of a philosopher. - Plato

I am I because my little dog knows me. - Gertrude Stein

Get the hanging dog expression off your face. - Archie Bunker

He who lies down with dogs, rises with fleas. - English Proverb

Don't think to hunt two hares with one dog. - Benjamin Franklin

Flatterers looks like friends, as wolves like dogs. - George Chapman

Dogs can't operate an MRI machine but cats can. - Unknown

Anybody who hates dogs and babies can't be all bad. - Leo Rosten

Anyone who hates children and dogs can't be all bad. - WC Fields

A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of. - Ogden Nash

I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog. - Wendy Liebman

Creative minds have been known to survive any sort of bad training. - Anna Freud

I have nothing against dogs. I just hate rugs that go squish-squish. - Phyllis Diller

I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow, than a man swear he loves me. - William Shakespeare

Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wanted to. - Joe Gores

There's no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face. - Bernard Williams

What we call 'morals' is simply blind obedience to words of command. - Havelock Ellis

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. - Jeff Valdez

Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes. - Lewis Grizzard

It's not the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog. - Mark Twain

I love working in Canada. The ovation is great. It makes me feel like I'm the top dog. - Owen Hart

Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings? It's hardly ever for them. - Harry Hill

Somewhere in the world someone is training when you are not. When you race him, he will win. - Tom Fleming

Get a good idea and stay with it. Dog it, and work at it until it's done, and done right. - Walt Disney

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. - Robert A. Heinlein

Don't make the mistake of treating your dogs like humans, or they'll treat you like dogs. - Martha Scott

What a pity Hell's gates are not kept by O'Flynn
The surly old dog would let nobody in. - Patrick Ireland

If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: pour a little Lavoris in the toilet. - Jay Leno

Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamppost how it feels about dogs. - Christopher Hampton

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives. - Sue Murphy

Already, companies that speak in the language of the pitch, the dog-and-pony show, are no longer speaking to anyone. - Unknown

We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet, so we bought a dog. It's cheaper and you get more feet. - Rita Rudner

I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox

I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. - Steven Wright

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much. - Mark Twain

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz


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