#1 humor site on the 'net

Dry Satellite

Bubba found a way to get a clearer TV signal

Dry Satellite thanks to Cathy Young

If only the eavestroughs didn't leak so much...

QuotaBills
Plans make dreams reality. - Susan Pace-Koch

TV: Chewing gum for the eyes. - Frank Lloyd Wright

Reality is almost always wrong. - Gregory House

Reality continues to ruin my life. - Bill Watterson

I ran my fastest marathon in the rain. - Bill Rodgers

Human kind cannot bear very much reality. - T S Eliot

Television proves that sight has a definite odor. - Gerald F Lieberman

If I melt dry ice, can I swim without getting wet? - Steven Wright

Nothing is really real unless it happens on television. - Daniel J. Boorstin

People run from rain but sit in bathtubs full of water. - Charles Bukowski

Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance. - Unknown

If you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain. - Steven Wright

Sex on television can't hurt you - unless you fall off. - Unknown

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one. - Albert Einstein

Television has been the single greatest shaper of emptiness. - Ravi Zacharias

In Texas it's always hot, dry, sunny, not a cloud in the sky. - Piper Perabo

Television is called a medium because anything good on it is rare. - Fred Allen

Television has brought back murder into the home... where it belongs. - Alfred Hitchcock

I think Les Moonves is the most highly overrated person in television. - Donald Trump

Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV. - Jerry Seinfeld

It is only hope which is real, and reality is a bitterness and a deceit. - William Makepeace Thackeray

Bad humour is an evasion of reality; good humour is an acceptance of it. - Malcolm Muggeridge

Don't be so much in love that you can't tell when it's raining. - African Proverb

Idealism is fine, but as it approaches reality, the costs become prohibitive. - William F. Buckley, Jr.

I saw a notice which said "Drink Canada Dry" and I've just started. - Brendan Behan

In California, they don't throw their garbage away - they make it into TV shows. - Woody Allen

It will never rain roses. When we want to have more roses, we must plant more roses. - George Eliot

One of the most important gifts we have in television - the ability to heal through laughter. - Soleil M Frye

I chose the Egyptian dream: the dream to make a TV show, and then be called an infidel by the end. - Bassem Youssef

Be good, keep your feet dry, your eyes open, your heart at peace, and your soul in the joy of Christ. - Thomas Merton

Morality binds and blinds. It binds us into teams... but thereby makes us go blind to objective reality. - Jonathan Haidt

A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain. - Robert Frost

There is no way you can get people to believe you on screen if they know who you really are through television. - Jack Nicholson

The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!" - Red Skelton

The public has an appetite for anything about imagination: anything that is far away from reality as is creatively possible. - Steven Spielberg

Why something in the public interest such as television news can be fought over, like a chain of hamburger stands, eludes me. - Jimmy Breslin

We pick politicians by how they look on TV and Miss America on where she stands on the issues. Isn't that a little backwards? - Jay Leno

As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain; and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality. - Albert Einstein

What brought me into the TV business is what keeps me here and happy. You can learn something new every day if you have a really positive attitude. - Katie Couric

I could never have imagined that firing 67 people on national television would actually make me more popular, especially with the younger generation. - Donald Trump


Caviar Burger

Icelandic Police Donuts

Size Matters

Crowd Surfing - Expert Level

Dream The Impossible

When Life Gets You Down

Redneck Estate Sale

How To Tweet Others

Nutella Soother

Autumn Camouflage

Go Play Outside

Be Someone

Arkansas Divorce Application

Three Finger Carrot

Braided Horse Tail

Owl Glove

Far North Cable Guys

Openish Hours

Lead Sled Dog

Pet Food Tester

Gold Bar Carrot Cake

Looking For A Mate

Food For Thought

Kanye Twitty