#1 humor site on the 'net

Egg Hatch Breakfast

What happens if you don't eat your breakfast eggs

Egg Hatch Breakfast thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Cracking open an eggsellent meal

QuotaBills
Whisker: A chef who beats eggs - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I'm too drunk to taste this chicken. - Colonel Sanders

Cackle: The commercial announcement of a hen. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Them eggs over there are startin' to foment. - Archie Bunker

Eve: The first chicken to ruin a man's garden - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The only thing chicken about Israel is their soup. - Bob Hope

Do not count your chickens before they are hatched. - Aesop

Poultry is for the cook what canvas is for the painter. - Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin

I'm Jewish, so I don't know much about Easter eggs. - Simon Kinberg

Put all your eggs in one basket, and then watch that basket. - Mark Twain

Corn can't expect justice from a court composed of chickens. - African Proverb

We better not, ya know, kill our chickens before they cross the road. - Archie Bunker

If you want chicken soup, you've got to put a chicken in the pot. - Joe Segal

It was so windy that one of our chickens laid the same egg four times. - Unknown

Like blind hens, we are ignorant of our own self and the depths within us. - Johannes Tauler

The best comfort food will always be greens, cornbread, and fried chicken. - Maya Angelou

If everything is good in the henhouse yous don't have to go out for eggs. - Archie Bunker

I have met a lot of hardboiled eggs in my time, but you're twenty minutes. - Oscar Wilde

I love my squirrel and dumplings, but you can make it with chicken and dumplings. - Kay Robertson

Hens do cackle loudest when there's nothing vital in the eggs they've laid. - Ambrose Bierce

My mother is no spring chicken although she has got as many chemicals in her as one. - Edna Everage

Thank God I've got eyebrows like bacon, because I've always got egg on my face. - Jarod Kintz

He's so old that when he orders a three-minute egg, they ask for the money up front. - Milton Berle

If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens? - Seymour Cray

Being kissed by a man who doesn't wax his moustache is like eating an egg without salt. - Rudyard Kipling

Easter is the only time when it's perfectly safe to put all of your eggs in one basket. - Evan Esar

Whether you wind up with a nest egg or a goose egg depends on the kind of chick you married. - Unknown

I unfortunately still crave chicken McNuggets and bacon, which is the meat candy of the world. - Katy Perry

Love, like a chicken salad or restaurant hash, must be taken with blind faith or it loses its flavor. - Helen Rowland

Breakfast is my favorite meal. I cook a big one for everyone - bacon and eggs. I own a lot of eggcups. - Emily Mortimer

I'm going to the Colonel next. I'm gonna get a big bucket of chicken chests and smashed potatoes. - Archie Bunker

I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked. - Bernard Meltzer

People judge you by your actions, not your intentions. You may have a heart of gold, but so has a hard-boiled egg. - Unknown

Any processed chicken from any place - I'll order it in a heartbeat. I'm very picky about my pork, though. - David Chang

The USA demanding that North Korea halt its nuclear program is akin to the fox demanding that the hens open their coup. - Steven Magee

I love lean meats like chicken, turkey. I'm obsessed with sushi and fish in general. I eat a lot of veggies and hummus. - Shawn Johnson

How come if you mix flour and water together you get glue? And when you add eggs and sugar you get cake? Where does the glue go? - Rita Rudner

An election is coming. Universal peace is declared, and the foxes have a sincere interest in prolonging the lives of the poultry. - George Eliot

The difference between involvement and commitment is like an eggs and ham breakfast: the chicken was involved, the pig was committed. - Unknown


Outdoor Pool

Smirnoff Women

Redneck Dent Repair

Cocktail Shirt

Mega Samurai Sudoku Puzzles

Boy George or Boy Gorge?

Tall Guy Bike

Lord Voldemort Rock

Illusionary

Copperhead Tree

Dream Big

Spot the Man's Head Hidden in the Coffee Beans

British Survey

Political Promise Transporter

Jam Packed Suitcase

All White Meat

Alien Moon Landing

Nothing But Net

Bible Bar

Branding Inspiration for Graphic Designers

Original Homeland Security - 2nd Amendment

Sunday Weather Forecast

On The Eighth Day

Moses Parting the Ice Field