Finding the Mother Load

Thank God kids never mean well. - Lily Tomlin

I love shark week, all kids swim for free. - Josh Stern

Raising kids is part joy and part guerrilla warfare. - Ed Asner

Inspiration usually comes during work, rather than before it. - Madeleine L'Engle

On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me. - Rodney Dangerfield

We've had bad luck with our kids - they've all grown up. - Christopher Morley

Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. - Red Buttons

Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration. - Thomas Edison

Raising kids make most people, including me, grow up at least a little. - Madonna

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. - Phyllis Diller

Amateurs wait for inspiration. The rest of us just get up and go to work. - Chuck Close

Inspiration at its best means breath, and only too frequently means wind. - G K Chesterton

Short of screaming-hot Thai food, everything can be suitable for kids too. - Guy Fieri

The hardest job kids face today is learning good manners without seeing any. - Fred Astaire

I'm pretty intentional about being highly invested in my kids' lives. - Mark Batterson

Enthusiasm is excitement with inspiration, motivation, and a pinch of creativity. - Bo Bennett

All kids need is a little help, a little hope, and somebody who believes in them. - Earvin "Magic" Johnson

Amateurs sit and wait for inspiration; the rest of us just get up and go to work. - Stephen King

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. - Phyllis Diller

I learn things from my kids constantly. Most of their knowledge comes from Snapple caps. - Jimmy Kimmel

If we would listen to our kids, we'd discover that they are largely self-explanatory. - Robert Brault

Because: Mom's reason for having kids do things which can't be explained logically - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like. - Phyllis Diller

I want to have a bunch of kids so I can open a factory and have free labor. Beat that, China! - Jarod Kintz

Having kids is the ultimate job in life. I want to be most successful at being a good father. - Nick Lachey

I think of inspiration as desire infused with spirit and topped with an almost reckless optimism. - Fred White

When you do not know what you are doing, and what you are doing is the best - that is inspiration. - Robert Bresson

I really do believe that God is love, one of deep affection and grace and forgiveness and inspiration. - William P Young

No matter how long we've been together Edith, you still, as the kids say, "turn me over." - Archie Bunker

The men who have furnished me with my greatest inspiration have not been men of wealth, but men of deeds. - James C Penney

Inspiration comes unawares, from unaccountable sources that have nothing to do with planning or intelligence. - Maurice Chevalier

I don't want to end up in an old folks' home wearing incompetence pads. I'm still compost mentis. - Harriet Wynn

Inspiration comes from within yourself. One has to be positive. When you're positive, good things happen. - Deep Roy

Here lies my past.
Good-bye I have kissed it;
Thank you, kids.
I wouldn’t have missed it. - Ogden Nash

I want my kids to have the things in life that I never had when I was growing up. Things like beards and chest hair. - Jarod Kintz

One man alone can be pretty dumb sometimes, but for real bona fide stupidity there ain't nothing can beat teamwork. - Mark Twain

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

When nature is my inspiration and subject, I am witness to an extraordinary range of color and every imaginable atmospheric condition. - Karen Casey

Like all parents, my husband and I just do the best we can, and hold our breath and hope we've set aside enough money for our kids' therapy. - Michelle Pfeiffer

If your kids are giving you a headache, follow the directions on the aspirin bottle, especially the part that says, 'keep away from children.' - Susan Savannah