First Driving Lesson

Afford: Popular type of car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

There are no mistakes in life, only lessons. - Lynda Renham

Don't try to teach a whole course in one lesson. - Kathryn Murray

I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright

Destiny is a Paris driver pushing a taxicab with my name on it. - Frank Dane

To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner

My driving abilities from Mexico have helped me get through Hollywood. - Salma Hayek

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car. - Carrie Snow

We tend to steer our lives in the direction of the lessons we need to learn. - Don Campbell

A careful driver is one who honks his horn when he goes through a red light. - Henry Morgan

Never break your putter and your driver in the same round or you're dead. - Tommy Bolt

Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you and scorn in the one ahead. - Mac McCleary

Don't postpone joy until you've learned all your lessons. Joy is your lesson. - Alan Cohen

Be open to learning new lessons even if they contradict the lessons you learned yesterday. - Ellen Degeners

It's fine to celebrate success but it is more important to heed the lessons of failure. - Bill Gates

HonkoSecond: The time between the light turning green and the sound from the car horn behind you - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Most of American life is driving somewhere and then driving back wondering why the hell you went. - John Updike

I took lessons in bicycle riding. But I could only afford half of them. Now I can ride a unicycle. - Steven Wright

Police officers may drive black and white cars, however what goes on in their job is a lot of gray. - Arik Matson

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving. - Steven Wright

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson

I don't think I'm a celebrity. I'm just a guy from east Texas who loves cars and airplanes. - Carroll Shelby

There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino

One of the lessons of history is that nothing is often a good thing to do and always a clever thing to say. - Will Durant

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pick-up truck, and end up with a station wagon. - Tim Allen

Practice mercy and forgiveness throughout as a lesson that symbolizes the love shown through his crucifixion. - Unarine Ramaru

When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. - Tom Hodgkinson

The greatest men sometimes overshoot themselves, but then their very mistakes are so many lessons of instruction. - Tom Browne

Poverty: 1. A state of mind sometimes induced by a neighbour's new car; 2. One thing that money can't buy. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

A cynic is not merely one who reads bitter lessons from the past, he is one who is prematurely disappointed in the future. - Sydney J. Harris

I'm not a car guy. The subway gets me where I need to go efficiently and cheaply, and I don't worry about traffic. - Joe Scarborough

One lesson you better learn if you want to be in politics is that you never go out on a golf course and beat the President. - Lyndon B. Johnson

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin

There is a blessed necessity by which the interest of men is always driving them to the right, and making all crime mean and ugly. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Mistakes are a part of being human. Appreciate your mistakes for what they are: precious life lessons that can only be learned the hard way. - Al Franken

When I studied graphic design, I learned a valuable lesson: There's no perfect answer to the puzzle, and creativity is a renewable resource. - Biz Stone

Only when your consciousness is totally focused on the moment you are in can you receive whatever gift, lesson, or delight that moment has to offer. - Barbara de Angelis

The charm of history and its enigmatic lesson consist in the fact that, from age to age, nothing changes and yet everything is completely different. - Aldous Huxley

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright