First Driving Lesson

But the ultimate lesson is just sit down and write. - Wole Soyinka

Don't try to teach a whole course in one lesson. - Kathryn Murray

You will never get lessons on swimming from a drowning man. - Unknown

Auto racing began 5 minutes after the second car was built. - Henry Ford

You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck

I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner

The big lesson in life, baby, is never be scared of anyone or anything. - Frank Sinatra

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car. - Carrie Snow

We tend to steer our lives in the direction of the lessons we need to learn. - Don Campbell

I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars. - Erma Bombeck

I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds and fast cars... the rest I squandered. - George Best

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip

You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is "never try." - Homer Simpson

The drivers have one foot on the brake, one on the clutch, and one on the throttle. - Bob Varsha

Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills: making the last car payment. - Unknown

Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you and scorn in the one ahead. - Mac McCleary

Nostalgia is like a grammar lesson: you find the present tense, but the past perfect. - Owens L. Pomeroy

When I got outta High School I was driving a truck. I was just a poor boy from Memphis. - Elvis Presley

Be open to learning new lessons even if they contradict the lessons you learned yesterday. - Ellen Degeners

It's fine to celebrate success but it is more important to heed the lessons of failure. - Bill Gates

Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone... when I came back the entire area was missing. - Steven Wright

The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver. - Jay Leno

The lead car is absolutely, truly unique, except for the one behind it which is exactly identical. - Murray Walker

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving. - Steven Wright

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pick-up truck, and end up with a station wagon. - Tim Allen

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? - George Carlin

I'm not a car guy. The subway gets me where I need to go efficiently and cheaply, and I don't worry about traffic. - Joe Scarborough

One lesson you better learn if you want to be in politics is that you never go out on a golf course and beat the President. - Lyndon B. Johnson

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. - Unknown

Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright

Eating a tuna roll at a sushi restaurant should be considered no more environmentally benign than driving a Hummer or harpooning a manatee. - Daniel Pauly

The rhythm of the footsteps, the sound of whatever is coming down the ladder is driving both me and my mom steadily toward peeing our pants. - Kendare Blake

Meditation here may think down hours to moments. Here the heart may give a useful lesson to the head and learning wiser grow without his books. - William Cowper

When I studied graphic design, I learned a valuable lesson: There's no perfect answer to the puzzle, and creativity is a renewable resource. - Biz Stone

Only when your consciousness is totally focused on the moment you are in can you receive whatever gift, lesson, or delight that moment has to offer. - Barbara de Angelis

One of the most important leadership lessons is realizing you're not the most important or the most intelligent person in the room at all times. - Mario Batall