First Driving Lesson

Life is a long lesson in humility. - Sir James M. Barrie

Chop your own path. Get off the car track. - A.Y. Jackson

No one is in your mind - you are its only driver. - Unknown

The first lesson reading teaches is how to be alone. - Jonathan Franzen

Feminism is a wonderful idea until the car goes wrong. - Nicola Zweig

You will never get lessons on swimming from a drowning man. - Unknown

I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright

Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. - Budd Schulberg

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Low self-esteem is like driving through life with your hand-break on. - Maxwell Maltz

The first lesson a revolutionary must learn is that he is a doomed man. - Huey P. Newton

We tend to steer our lives in the direction of the lessons we need to learn. - Don Campbell

A private railroad car is not an acquired taste. One takes to it immediately. - Eleanor R. Belmont

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip

The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical. - Murray Walker

The drivers have one foot on the brake, one on the clutch, and one on the throttle. - Bob Varsha

Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills: making the last car payment. - Unknown

Make it thy business to know thyself, which is the most difficult lesson in the world. - Sir William Temple

Drive-in banks were established so most of the cars today could see their real owners. - E. Joseph Crossman

I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push. - Rodney Dangerfield

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries

Golden Age: When the kids are too old to need baby-sitters and too young to borrow the family car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I took lessons in bicycle riding. But I could only afford half of them. Now I can ride a unicycle. - Steven Wright

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

There are only three ages for women in Hollywood: Babe, District Attorney, and Driving Miss Daisy. - Goldie Hawn

If I weren't skateboarding, I'd love to race cars. I like anything that's fast and active. - Ryan Sheckler

Animals are like little children a bit. They're simple. They don't have politics driving them. - Annabelle Sabloff

I don't think I'm a celebrity. I'm just a guy from east Texas who loves cars and airplanes. - Carroll Shelby

When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. - Tom Hodgkinson

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

I'm not a car guy. The subway gets me where I need to go efficiently and cheaply, and I don't worry about traffic. - Joe Scarborough

We learn something from everyone who passes through our lives.. Some lessons are painful, some are painless... but all are priceless. - Unknown

A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman

His billiards lessons regarding double kisses, push strokes, butt caps, creeping angles of incidence, and snatches began to sound like flirting. - Jennifer Harrison

Only when your consciousness is totally focused on the moment you are in can you receive whatever gift, lesson, or delight that moment has to offer. - Barbara de Angelis

The charm of history and its enigmatic lesson consist in the fact that, from age to age, nothing changes and yet everything is completely different. - Aldous Huxley

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright