#1 humor site on the 'net

Found The Food

When soothers and bottled milk just aren't enough

Found The Food thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

Nothing is impossible for Little Johnny

QuotaBills
Birth patrol pills. - Archie Bunker

Health food makes me sick. - Calvin Trillin

Laughter is brightest where food is best. - Irish Proverb

One hour with a child is like a ten-mile run. - Joan B. Samuelson

I want my food dead. Not sick, not dying - dead. - Oscar Wilde

Bacon bits are like fairy dust of the food community. - Unknown

A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on. - Carl Sandburg

A new toy is something a child uses to break his old toys. - Joe-kster

You take more pictures of your baby than NASA does of Mars. - Unknown

Love is the child of illusion and the parent of disillusion. - Miguel de Unamuno

There is no cure for birth and death, save to enjoy the interval. - George Santayana

When I was a child, nobody died; but now it happens all the time. - Unknown

I'm a bit of a gourmet chef. I love cooking - mostly Thai food. - Will Ferrell

When I was a child what I wanted to be when I grew up was an invalid. - Quentin Crisp

It is spring again. The earth is like a child that knows poems by heart. - Rainer M. Rilke

There's only one pretty child in the world, and every mother has it. - English Proverb

The maxim that the "best is the cheapest" does not apply to food. - W.O. Atwater

As a child, my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it. - Buddy Hackett

Who is more foolish, the child afraid of the dark or the man afraid of the light? - Maurice Freehill

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants. - Unknown

An ugly baby is a very nasty object, and the prettiest is frightful when undressed. - Queen Victoria

Anyone who thinks the art of conversation is dead ought to tell a child to go to bed. - Robert Gallagher

The most effective kind of education is that a child should play amongst lovely things. - Plato

If newborn babies could speak they would be the most intelligent beings on planet earth. - Jaden Smith

A perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children. - Dave Barry

The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later, you're hungry again. - George Miller

I am the indoctrinated child of two lapsed Irish Catholics. Which is to say: I am not religious. - Meghan O'Rourke

Chocolate symbolizes, as does no other food, luxury, comfort, sensuality, gratification, and love. - Karl Petzke

When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child... eventually. - Steven Wright

This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer. - Will Rogers

The baby bat
Screamed out in fright,
'Turn on the dark,
I'm afraid of the light.' - Shel Silverstein

The vivacity of children is always charming, because it is always sincere. A grave child is a rose without fragrance. - Unknown

A burrito is a delicious food item that breaks down all social barriers and leads to temporary spiritual enlightenment. - Lisi Harrison

Children are smarter than any of us. Know how I know that? I don't know one child with a full time job and children. - Bill Hicks

I like simple food, seasoned with just salt, pepper, oil and vinegar. Complicated food and complicated lives are never good. - Sirio Maccioni

Babies are bits of stardust, blown from the hand of God. Lucky the woman who knows the pangs of birth, for she has held a star. - Larry Barratto

I was forced to live far beyond my years when just a child, now I have reversed the order and I intend to remain young indefinitely. - Mary Pickford

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

One of my biggest fears is that I'm going to die alone in my home, and my cats will eat me because I am too dead to open their food cans. - Kelli Jae Baeli

I'll paddle board, swim in the ocean, roll in the sand, soak up the sun, eat good food, be with friends and family and go fishing with my dad. - Behati Prinsloo


I Will Never Tell

Vancouver Snow Plow

Costco Wheels

British Accountant

Find Your Car

First Selfie

Spider Trap

Soothing Hairstyle

Winter Ready

2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Rush Job Calendar

Head Games

My Favourite Day of the Year

Millionaire Women

Face Palm

Restaurant Valentines

No Pit Stop Car

Men's Vacuum Cleaner

Love Lost

Below Ground

Religious Valentine

Rudolph Valentino

Hand Me Down Valentine

Valentine Reach