#1 humor site on the 'net

Frozen Apple Blossoms

Growing winter fruit in the Moist West Territories

Frozen Apple Blossoms thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Frozen Apple Blossoms thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
Head Cold: Rheum service - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Ice Cream: What I do when scared - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Revenge is a dish best served cold. - Italian Proverb

I always wake up at the crack of ice. - Joe E Lewis

One good egg in a barrel of rotten apples. - Archie Bunker

Never underestimate the value of cold cash. - Gregory Nunn

Hot heads and cold hearts never solved anything. - Billy Graham

Mother-In-Law Sandwich: Cold shoulder and tongue - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If I melt dry ice, can I swim without getting wet? - Steven Wright

She tells enough white lies to ice a wedding cake. - Margot Asquith

A book must be the ax for the frozen sea within us. - Franz Kafka

Without ice cream there would be darkness and chaos. - Don Kardong

Some say the world will end in fire, some say in ice. - Robert Frost

Fancy Restaurant: One that serves cold soup on purpose - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

We are cold to others only when we are dull in ourselves. - William Hazlitt

A diamond is the only kind of ice that keeps a girl warm. - Elizabeth Taylor

An apple a day keeps anyone away if you throw it hard enough. - Unknown

The trouble with jogging is that the ice falls out of your glass. - Martin Mull

Individuals who act too 'cool' often freeze under pressure. - Unknown

Sadness is more or less like a head cold - with patience, it passes. - Barbara Kingsolver

If it weren't for my adam's apple, I'd have no shape at all. - Phyllis Diller

I love Halloween: the cold air, the spooky dangers lurking around the corner. - Evan Peters

Always give them the old fire, even when you feel like a squashed cake of ice. - Ethel Merman

Grantartica: The cold, isolated place where art companies dwell without funding - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

In Hollywood, the women are all peaches. It makes one long for an apple occasionally. - W Somerset Maugham

The past is frozen and no longer flows, and the present is all lit up with eternal rays. - C S Lewis

It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water. - Franklin P. Jones

Growing up, I'd just be at home, playing tennis, spending my allowance on an ice-cream truck. - Venus Williams

Age does not diminish the extreme disappointment of having a scoop of ice cream fall from the cone. - Jim Fiebig

I believe Ronald Reagan can make this country what it once was... a large Arctic region covered with ice. - Robin Williams

All the plants in my house are dead - I shot them last night. I was teasing them by watering them with ice cubes. - Steven Wright

I welcome him like I welcome cold sores. He's from England, he's angry, and he's got Mad Power Disease. - Paula Abdul

When I was in boy scouts, I slipped on the ice and hurt my ankle. A little old lady had to help me across the street. - Steven Wright

Spare the rod and spoil the child - that is true. But, beside the rod, keep an apple to give him when he has done well. - Martin Luther

Facebook is in a very different place than Apple, Google, Amazon, Samsung, and Microsoft. We are trying to build a community. - Mark Zuckerberg

In those days the best painkiller was ice. It wasn't addictive, and it was particularly effective if you poured some whiskey over it. - George Burns

New Pasta Diet: Just walk pasta bakery without stopping. Walk pasta candy store without stopping. Walk pasta ice cream shop without stopping. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A giraffe's coffee would be cold by the time it reached the bottom of its throat. Ever think about that? No. You only think about yourself. - Unknown

Passover and Easter are the only Jewish and Christian holidays that move in sync, like the ice skating pairs we saw during the winter Olympics. - Marvin Olasky

NBC News just called it "The Great Freeze" - coldest weather in years. Is our country still spending money on the global warming hoax? - Donald Trump


Old Crutch Shelf

Centre of Canada

Vacation Time For Kids

Amsterdam Dress

Greek Bailout

Garden of Eat'En

Dog Shampoo

One Way Repairs

Stone Wall Art

Grad Support

Radar Speed Check

Camouflage Face

Crab Bridge

Illusive Animal Kingdom

Off The Wall Biker

Buffalo Art

TitanoBoa

Secret Graduation Gift

Fish Fingers

I'll Be Right There

Redneck Sandals

Down Under Statue

Ventriloquist Isolation

Dr. Hedgehog