#1 humor site on the 'net

Gigantic Pizza

Looking for a Big Box pizza?

Gigantic Pizza thanks to Adilson DeCarvalho Jr.

Preparing for a long night of pigging out

QuotaBills
Abstain from beans. - Pythagoras

It's okay to play with your food. - Emeril Lagasse

Tomato Paste: Used to fix broken pizza - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The best food is whatever fills the belly. - Arab Proverb

Afternoon Snack: The pause that refleshes. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Food is the most primitive form of comfort. - Sheila Graham

A proverb is to speech what salt is to food. - Arabic Proverb

She did not so much cook as assassinate food. - Storm Jameson

There is no love sincerer than the love of food. - George Bernard Shaw

I want my food dead. Not sick, not dying - dead. - Oscar Wilde

Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food. - Hippocrates

Chocolate is more than a food, but less than a drug. - R J Huxtable

Laughter is brightest in the place where the food is. - Irish Proverb

The food in Yugoslavia is fine if you like pork tartare. - Ed Begley Jr.

Before eating, always take a little time to thank the food. - Arapaho Proverb

One of the secrets of a happy life is continuous small treats. - Irish Murdoch

In France, cooking is a serious art form and a national sport. - Julia Child

A meal of bread, cheese, and beer constitutes the perfect food. - Queen Elizabeth I

Fine art and pizza delivery: what we do falls neatly in between. - David Letterman

I think about food literally all day every day. It's a thing. - Taylor Swift

Food for the body is not enough. There must be food for the soul. - Dorothy Day

I'm a bit of a gourmet chef. I love cooking - mostly Thai food. - Will Ferrell

I won't be impressed with technology until I can download food. - Unknown

Your diet is a bank account. Good food choices are good investments. - Bethenny Frankel

Grocerise: To sell off non-perishable food articles through eBeh channels - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The maxim that the "best is the cheapest" does not apply to food. - W.O. Atwater

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick - not wounded - dead. - Woody Allen

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. - Phyllis Diller

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants. - Unknown

On the Continent people have good food; in England people have good table manners. - George Mikes

Zero: The number of times you’ve gotten to eat most of the pizza you ordered - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Roses are red, Pizza sauce is too, I ordered a large, and None of it is for you. - Unknown

You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six. - Yogi Berra

An Englishman teaching an American about food is like the blind leading the one-eyed. - A.J. Liebling

When men reach their sixties and retire, they go to pieces. Women go right on cooking. - Gail Sheehy

People want honest, flavourful food, not some show-off meal that takes days to prepare. - Ted Allen

If more of us cared about food and home above gold, this world would be a merrier place. - Bilbo Baggins

From an early age I understood that cooking was never going to be a job, it's a passion. - Gordon Ramsay

The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later, you're hungry again. - George Miller

If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world. - JRR Tolkien

Snaccident: Eating an entire pizza, box of chocolates, or family size bag of chips by mistake - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I like spaghetti bolognese, I like baked beans on toast. I hate French food. I hate fancy food. - Simon Cowell

They don't make pizza or beer out of celery. And that is all you need to know about celery. - Bill Murray

I'm glad I don't have to hunt for my food. I don't even know where Sandwiches live. - Bill Murray

The automatic stabilizer is unemployment insurance, food stamps, additional coverage of Medicaid. - Franklin Raines

Chocolate symbolizes, as does no other food, luxury, comfort, sensuality, gratification, and love. - Karl Petzke

I prefer Hostess fruit pies to pop-up toaster tarts because they don't require as much cooking. - Carrie Snow

If fat people just gave skinny people more food, we could solve obesity and hunger at the same time. - Ashton Kutcher

Most fat food is fried. Fried food tastes great, and people don't seem to care about the fat aspect. - Eric Schlosser

Food: The response Mom usually gives in answer to the question, "What's for dinner tonight?" - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Going without food or water will kill the body, but the lack of relationship will kill the minds and spirit. - David Jeremiah

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine

I'm not always optimistic. You wouldn't have all cylinders cooking if you were always like Mary Poppins. - Carol Burnett

What my mother believed about cooking is that if you worked hard and prospered, someone else would do it for you. - Nora Ephron

The disparity between a restaurant's price and food quality rises in direct proportion to the size of the pepper mill. - Bryan Miller

I like to eat pizza and spaghetti pomodoro, and I'm crazy for dessert. I like all of them: cassata, cheesecake, biscuits. - Stefano Gabbana

I like Pirate's Booty. Prunes and olives, too. I love hummus. I can eat that until I die. I tend to eat mostly organic food. - Queen Latifah

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

I'm always interested in finding the new trend. If you love pizza every day, after 22 years of eating pizza, you want to try sushi. - Jean Pigozzi

One of my biggest fears is that I'm going to die alone in my home, and my cats will eat me because I am too dead to open their food cans. - Kelli Jae Baeli

I'll paddle board, swim in the ocean, roll in the sand, soak up the sun, eat good food, be with friends and family and go fishing with my dad. - Behati Prinsloo

Mushroom: 1. A motel for quickies; 2. The place where they store the school food; 3. A room that has no sides, no walls, no doors and no ceilings. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The best way to lose weight is to close your mouth - something very difficult for a politician. Or watch your food - just watch it, don't eat it. - Edward I Kock

Our food pyramid, the kind of diet that is constantly promoted, is completely warped. It's not based around anything to do with healing your body. - Jessica Origliasso


Come And Go Door Mat

Redneck Farmer

McDonalds in South America

Stealth Snake

Camouflage Pro

Beard Fashion

Playground Drivers

In Step Horse

Finger Olympics

Cow Licks

Dog Distress

Mate Attraction

Dark Room

Lineup For Dinner

Redneck Furnace

Traffic Sign Art

A Dog's Worst Nightmare

Garage Door Art

Kellogg's Fire

Teenage Independence

Parasite Trivia

Bobslide Event

Scooter Races

Bull Squirrel