QuotaBillsDo your kids a favor - don't have any. - Robert Orben
I love shark week, all kids swim for free. - Josh Stern
Germs: The only things kids will share freely - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Goat Herder: A person who likes to work with kids - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Raising kids is a walk in the park. Jurassic Park. - Unknown
Raising kids is part joy and part guerrilla warfare. - Ed Asner
With kids, the days are long, but the years are short. - John Leguizamo
You know what's cool? My kids think I'm ordinary. - Michael J. Fox
What a strange illusion to suppose that beauty is goodness. - Leo Tolstoy
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one. - Albert Einstein
Love is the child of illusion and the parent of disillusion. - Miguel de Unamuno
If we choose, we can live in a world of comforting illusion. - Noam Chomsky
Kids are life's only guaranteed bona fide upside surprise. - Jack Nicholson
Bed and Breakfast: Two things the kids will never make for themselves - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Raising kids make most people, including me, grow up at least a little. - Madonna
Never say never because limits, like fears, are often just an illusion. - Michael Jordan
The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. - Phyllis Diller
Silence is golden unless you have kids. Then silence is just suspicious. - Unknown
Short of screaming-hot Thai food, everything can be suitable for kids too. - Guy Fieri
I'd like to be the ideal mother, but I'm too busy raising my kids. - Unknown
The hardest job kids face today is learning good manners without seeing any. - Fred Astaire
Oh my God! Space aliens! Don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them! - Homer Simpson
Couch Potato: What Mom finds under the sofa cushions after the kids eat dinner - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I'm not buying my kids an encyclopedia. Let them walk to school like I did. - Yogi Berra
The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place. - George Bernard Shaw
My wife and I have a tradition of popcorn and videos with our kids on Friday evenings. - Ozwald Boateng
Because: Mom's reason for having kids do things which can't be explained logically - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I want to have a bunch of kids so I can open a factory and have free labor. Beat that, China! - Jarod Kintz
Zucchini: Vegetable which can be baked, boiled, fried or steamed before kids refuse to eat it - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Having kids is the ultimate job in life. I want to be most successful at being a good father. - Nick Lachey
It's not uncommon to see kids on the school bus reading books and doing homework on the bus. - Anthony Amero
I just want to make sure when I have kids, I can spend time with them. That's the whole point. - Mark Zuckerberg
I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom. - Eoin Colfer
The illusion that the times that were are better than those that are has probably pervaded all ages. - Horace Greeley
No matter how long we've been together Edith, you still, as the kids say, "turn me over." - Archie Bunker
What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet. - Woody Allen
You know your kids are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going. - P.J. O'Rourke
Technology is just a tool. In terms of getting the kids working together and motivating them, the teacher is the most important. - Bill Gates
It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor
If you want your kids to listen to you, don't yell at them. Whisper. Make them lean in. My kids taught me that. I do it with adults now. - Mario Batali