Have A Seat, Mr. Bond

Lap Top: Where little kids feel comfy - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Illusion is the first of all pleasures. - Oscar Wilde

I love shark week, all kids swim for free. - Josh Stern

Joy Ride: Going somewhere without the kids - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Inflation: everyone's illusion of wealth - Unknown

Eat: What kids do between meals, but not at them - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Raising kids is a walk in the park. Jurassic Park. - Unknown

Raising kids is part joy and part guerrilla warfare. - Ed Asner

Kids don't remember their best day of television. - Unknown

Losing an illusion makes you wiser than finding a truth. - Ludwig Borne

You know what's cool? My kids think I'm ordinary. - Michael J. Fox

Kids are life's only guaranteed bona fide upside surprise. - Jack Nicholson

We've had bad luck with our kids - they've all grown up. - Christopher Morley

Illusion is the dust the devil throws in the eyes of the foolish. - Minna Antrim

Kids. They're not easy. But there has to be some penalty for sex. - Bill Maher

Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. - Red Buttons

Raising kids make most people, including me, grow up at least a little. - Madonna

All kids are gifted: some just open their packages earlier than others. - Michael Carr

Never say never because limits, like fears, are often just an illusion. - Michael Jordan

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. - Phyllis Diller

Kids: they dance before they learn there is anything that isn't music. - William Stafford

I'd like to be the ideal mother, but I'm too busy raising my kids. - Unknown

Couch Potato: What Mom finds under the sofa cushions after the kids eat dinner - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The most effective form of birth control I know is spending the day with my kids. - Jill Bensley

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. - Phyllis Diller

The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place. - George Bernard Shaw

Like the cosmetics industry, the securities business is engaged in selling illusion. - Paul Samuelson

Free will is an illusion. People always choose the perceived path of greatest pleasure. - Scott Adams

I want to have a bunch of kids so I can open a factory and have free labor. Beat that, China! - Jarod Kintz

It's not uncommon to see kids on the school bus reading books and doing homework on the bus. - Anthony Amero

Golden Age: When the kids are too old to need baby-sitters and too young to borrow the family car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I just want to make sure when I have kids, I can spend time with them. That's the whole point. - Mark Zuckerberg

The illusion that the times that were are better than those that are has probably pervaded all ages. - Horace Greeley

No matter how long we've been together Edith, you still, as the kids say, "turn me over." - Archie Bunker

Every boy needs a role model that he can be proud of and talk about to the other kids in the playground. - Athol Fugard

One in four kids have either pre-diabetes or diabetes - what I like to call diabesity. How did this happen? - Mark Hyman

Here lies my past.
Good-bye I have kissed it;
Thank you, kids.
I wouldn’t have missed it. - Ogden Nash

I love to go to a movie, get a Diet Coke and a barrel of popcorn, and sit there with my kids and watch a film. - William Shatner

There's no such thing as a soul. It's just something they made up to scare kids, like the bogeyman or Michael Jackson. - Bart Simpson

When it comes to hockey, it's been in my blood since I was 3 or 4 years old. I love coaching the kids, especially at that level. - Mario Lemieux