QuotaBillsAbsentee: A missing golfing peg - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Golf is a puzzle without an answer. - Gary Player
Work: The thing that interferes with golf. - Frank Dane
Golf, like measles, should be caught young. - P G Wodehouse
If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt. - Dean Martin
Real golfers don't miss putts, they get robbed. - Unknown
Teetotaler: A golfer who only keeps track of drives - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
If there is any larceny in a man, golf will bring it out. - Paul Gallico
The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf. - Will Rogers
Hold me, grip me, cherish me, pretend that I'm a golf club! - Unknown
Golf is a game where the ball lies poorly, and the players well. - Unknown
Farmers: Men successful only if they sell their farms to golf clubs - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
You realize just how bad a golfer you are when you play with Freddie. - Donald Trump
Golf is a game in which you yell fore, shoot six, and write down five. - Paul Harvey
Income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has. - Will Rogers
I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators. - Gerald R. Ford
One advantage of golf over bowling is that you never lose a bowling ball. - Don Carter
Show me a good loser and I'll show you a man playing golf with his boss. - Unknown
Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf. - Gene Perret
It is impossible to imagine Goethe or Beethoven being good at billiards or golf. - H L Mencken
If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball. - Jack Lemmon
Golf is the worst drug in the world. You just keep coming back fro more embarrassment. - Deacon Jones
It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling. - Mark Twain
One of the quickest ways to meet new people is to pick up the wrong ball on a golf course. - Unknown
The only reason I ever played golf in the first place was so I could afford to hunt and fish. - Sam Snead
If NASA really wants to find water on Mars, they should just send me there to hit a golf ball. - Gene Jaster
They say that life is a lot like golf - don't believe them. Golf is a lot more complicated. - Gardner Dickinson
As you walk down the fairway of life you must smell the roses, for you only get to play one round. - Ben Hogan
The biggest battle is never on the field, the fairway, the diamond or rink: it's in your mind. - Carey Neuhoff
I played golf. I didn't get a hole in one, but I did hit a guy. That's way more satisfying. - Mitch Hedberg
Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air. - Jack Benny
If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. - Bob Hope
Golf is like any other sports competition. There is not a whole lot of point to it unless someone suffers. - Kevin Wohl
There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino
I'm 42 around the chest, 52 around the waist, 92 around the golf course, and a nuisance around the house. - Groucho Marx
Long ago, when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today, it's called golf. - Unknown
One lesson you better learn if you want to be in politics is that you never go out on a golf course and beat the President. - Lyndon B. Johnson
Golf is like a love affair: If you don't take it seriously, it's no fun; if you do take it seriously, it breaks your heart. - Arthur Daley
Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an even smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill designed for the purpose. - Winston Churchill
I don't know him very well... I've played him at golf and beat him badly both times, and I think that probably had a negative impact on him. - Donald Trump