How The Grinch Really Stole Christmas
I was driving down the road when all of a sudden...
Suffering from blurred vision this Christmas?
QuotaBillsSanta's Guh-nomes - Archie Bunker
The perfect man? A poet on a motorcycle. - Lucinda Williams
Christmas comes, but once a year is enough. - American Proverb
A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown
I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd
Harlez Vous Francais?: Can you drive a French motorcycle? - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund
I'm going to the North Pole to help out Santa this year. - Jimmy Fallon
I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan
Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year. - Victor Borge
I never stole a joke in my life. I just find them before they're lost. - Milton Berle
That's all the motorcycle is, a system of concepts worked out in steel. - Robert M. Pirsig
Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard
Keep your bike in good repair: motorcycle boots are not comfortable for walking. - Unknown
Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. - George Carlin
If my Valentine you won't be,
I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree. - Ernest Hemingway
Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson
I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller
True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker
Most motorcycle problems are caused by the nut that connects the handlebars to the saddle. - Unknown
If 'ifs and buts' were 'candy and nuts', we'd have Christmas every day. - Unknown
The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. - Steven Wright
I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright
No matter how carefully you stored the lights last year, they will be snarled again this Christmas. - Robert Kirby
The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants. - John Andrew Holmes
The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness. - Emo Philips
Might make a real good Christmas present for the uninformed. The book is called 'Taking America Back.' - Paul Harvey
I gave my young nephew a book for Christmas. He's spent six months looking for where to put
the batteries. - Milton Berle
I'll never forget my first fur. It was a modest little stole. Modest? People thought I was wearing anchovies. - Phyllis Diller
A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. - Garrison Keillor
I haven't reported my missing credit card to the police because whoever stole it is spending less than my wife. - Ilie Nastase
People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it's safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs. - Unknown
Did you read about Starbucks? No more "Merry Christmas" at Starbucks. No more. Maybe we should boycott Starbucks. - Donald Trump
I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. - Shirley Temple
My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz