Husband Creche

Recipe for a happy husband: Fake and Bake. - Unknown

Can you fix my husband? He says he's broke. - Unknown

Her husband was infidelicate with another woman. - Archie Bunker

Leanardo De Cappuccino: Founder, coffee shop chain - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Before we make love my husband takes a pain killer. - Joan Rivers

I always say shopping is cheaper than a psychiatrist. - Tammy Faye Bakker

Never trust a husband too far, nor a bachelor too near. - Helen Rowland

Jello: The only food your husband has ever learned to cook - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The quickest way to know a woman is to go shopping with her. - Marcelene Cox

My husband is a general's chauffeur somewhere in France. - Lillie Langtry

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. - Milton Berle

My husband's idea of a good night out is a good night in. - Maureen Lipman

A husband's conjungal and a wife's convivial obligation - Archie Bunker

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband. - Ogden Nash

A good thing sells itself; a bad thing advertises itself for sale. - African Saying

A husband is what is left of a lover, after the nerve has been extracted. - Helen Rowland

When a man retires his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income. - Chi Chi Rodriguez

Bargain Sale: A place where a woman can ruin one dress while she buys another - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

My husband's German. Every night I get dressed up as Poland and he invades me. - Bette Midler

I'm so ugly I worked in a pet shop, and people kept asking how big I'd get. - Rodney Dangerfield

My legs are so sore from the gym that I almost couldn't walk to the donut shop. - Bill Murray

When women are mad or depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. - Elayne Boosler

My husband and I fell in love at first sight. Maybe I should have taken a second look. - Mia Farrow

Every sale has five basic obstacles: no need, no money, no hurry, no desire, no trust. - Zig Ziglar

Take care of your pennies and your dollars will take care of your widow's next husband. - American Proverb

Shopping: The fine art of acquiring things you don't need with money you don't have. - Unknown

If Hillary Clinton can't satisfy her husband what makes her think she can satisfy America. - Donald Trump

Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love, though I'd stepped in it a few times. - Rita Rudner

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. - Groucho Marx

To me, job titles don't matter. Everyone is in sales. It's the only way we stay in business. - Harvey Mackay

My husband and I have figured out a really good system about the housework: neither one of us does it. - Dottie Archibald

Many marriages would be better if the husband and wife clearly understood that they are on the same side. - Zig Ziglar

The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her. - Agatha Christie

My husband wanted one of those big-screen TVs for his birthday. So I just moved his chair closer to the one we have already. - Wendy Liebman

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. - Sacha Guitry

A husband is a guy who tells you when you’ve got on too much lipstick and helps you with your girdle when your hips stick. - Ogden Nash

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner

When one may pay out over two million dollars to presidential and Congressional campaigns, the U.S. government is virtually up for sale. - John W. Gardner

Like all parents, my husband and I just do the best we can, and hold our breath and hope we've set aside enough money for our kids' therapy. - Michelle Pfeiffer