Husband Day Care Center

A married man is a caged bird. - Spanish Proverb

Marry in haste, repent at leisure. - English Proverb

Marriage is the chief cause of divorce. - Groucho Marx

Love is blind, but marriage restores its sight. - Georg C. Lichtenberg

If you marry for money you will earn every penny. - Dr. Phil McGraw

Before we make love my husband takes a pain killer. - Joan Rivers

Getting married is an incredible act of hopefulness. - Ashley Judd

Sticking with a marriage. That's true grit, man. - Jeff Bridges

I always say shopping is cheaper than a psychiatrist. - Tammy Faye Bakker

The proper basis for marriage is mutual misunderstanding. - Oscar Wilde

In Hollywood, a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk. - Rita Rudner

Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy. - Unknown

The secret to a happy marriage? Do what your wife tells you. - Denzel Washington

The quickest way to know a woman is to go shopping with her. - Marcelene Cox

Marriage: A word which should be pronounced "mirage." - Herbert Spencer

When I die, bury me on the golf course so my husband will visit. - Unknown

Marriage is but for a little while. It is alimony that is forever. - Quentin Crisp

Marriage is too interesting an experiment to be tried only once or twice. - Eva Gabor

College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage. - George Gobel

I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings and lawyers. - Richard Pryor

Well, at least he has found his true love - what a pity he can't marry himself. - Frank Sinatra

How marriage ruins a man! It is as demoralizing as cigarettes, and far more expensive. - Oscar Wilde

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. - Mignon McLaughlin

I've been married to a communist and a fascist, and neither would take out the garbage. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

If you meet someone who can cook and do housework, don't hesitate a minute - marry him! - Rita Rudner

Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love, though I'd stepped in it a few times. - Rita Rudner

A woman should cleave into her husband. Right here in this house is where Edith's cleavage belongs. - Archie Bunker

Many marriages would be better if the husband and wife clearly understood that they are on the same side. - Zig Ziglar

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her. - Agatha Christie

Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories. - John Wilmot

Always get married in the morning. That way if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted the whole day. - Mickey Rooney

I love being married. It's so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. - Rita Rudner

I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something is wrong with me. - Elayne Boosler

I've known and respected your husband for many years, and what's good enough for him is good enough for me. - Groucho Marx

There is nothing in the world like the devotion of a married woman. It is a thing no married man knows anything about. - Oscar Wilde

Camping is not a date; it's an endurance test. If you can survive camping with someone, you should marry them on the way home. - Yvonne Prinz

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield

If you never want to see a man again, just tell him, "I love you. I want to marry you. I want to have children." They leave skid marks. - Rita Rudner

I should have suspected my husband was lazy. On our wedding day, his mother told me: "I'm not losing a son; I'm gaining a couch." - Phyllis Diller