Husband Day Care Center

Marry money. - Max Shulman

Ideal Wife: Any woman who has an ideal husband - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

In married life, three is company and two none. - Oscar Wilde

Her husband was infidelicate with another woman. - Archie Bunker

Zigzag: The shortest distance between two drinks - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener. - Paula Deen

In married life three is company and two is none. - Oscar Wilde

Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry. - Gloria Steinem

Getting married is an incredible act of hopefulness. - Ashley Judd

Malaria: Several shopping centers close to each other - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The proper basis for marriage is mutual misunderstanding. - Oscar Wilde

My husband is a general's chauffeur somewhere in France. - Lillie Langtry

A husband's conjungal and a wife's convivial obligation - Archie Bunker

Harem: A community of women who subscribe to a circulating husband - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Alcoholic: A person you don't like who drinks as much as you do - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Do you Edith....take Archie Bunker to be your lawfully bedded husband? - Archie Bunker

A man is often too young to marry, but a man is never too old to love. - Finnish Proverb

No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying. - Unknown

Having a baby is like falling in love again, both with your husband and your child. - Tina Brown

Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest. - Irwin Corey

Whoever said money can't buy happiness simply didn't know where to go shopping. - Bo Derek

My husband and I had our best sex during our divorce. It was like cheating on our lawyers. - Priscilla Lopez

Today couples live together until they learn to detest one another. Then they get married. - G K Chesterton

I believe in the institution of marriage, and I intend to keep trying until I get it right. - Richard Pryor

Take care of your pennies and your dollars will take care of your widow's next husband. - American Proverb

Hard work is the soundest investment. It provides a neat security for your widow's next husband. - Unknown

For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones

It is not your love that sustains the marriage, but from now on, the marriage that sustains your love. - Dietrich Bonhoeffer

A woman should cleave into her husband. Right here in this house is where Edith's cleavage belongs. - Archie Bunker

Marriage is the only known example of the happy meeting of the immovable object and the irresistible force. - Ogden Nash

I'm a big fan of the Irish accent. After a couple of drinks, I start to get a bit of an Irish lilt, too. - Emily Ratajkowski

Marriage always demands the greatest understanding of the art of insincerity possible between two human beings. - Vicki Baum

I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something is wrong with me. - Elayne Boosler

Being a good husband is like being a stand-up comic. You need 10 years before you can even call yourself a beginner. - Jerry Seinfeld

I don't sit around thinking that I'd like to have another husband; only another man would make me think that way. - Lauren Bacall

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet service to see who they really are. - Will Ferrell

Twenty years of romance make a woman look like a ruin, but twenty years of marriage make her something like a public building. - Oscar Wilde

I feel like Zsa Zsa Gabor's sixth husband. I know what I'm supposed to do, but I don't know how to make it interesting. - Milton Berle

Don't over-analyze your marriage; it's like yanking up a fragile indoor plant every 20 minutes to see how its roots are growing. - Ogden Nash

In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage. - Robert Anderson