Husband Day Care Center

Marry money. - Max Shulman

A married man is a caged bird. - Spanish Proverb

Marry in haste, repent at leisure. - English Proverb

Marriage is not a word but a sentence. - Unknown

A really good detective never gets married. - Raymond Chandler

In married life, three is company and two none. - Oscar Wilde

Love is a fair garden, and marriage a field of nettles. - Finnish Proverb

Marriage has many pains, but celibacy has not pleasure. - Samuel Johnson

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. - Groucho Marx

Jello: The only food your husband has ever learned to cook - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The secret to a happy marriage? Do what your wife tells you. - Denzel Washington

Before you marry keep both eyes open; after marriage shut one. - Jamaican Proverb

Marriage: A word which should be pronounced "mirage." - Herbert Spencer

The more you invest in a marriage, the more valuable it becomes. - Amy Grant

A man is often too young to marry, but a man is never too old to love. - Finnish Proverb

A husband is what is left of a lover, after the nerve has been extracted. - Helen Rowland

Marriage is too interesting an experiment to be tried only once or twice. - Eva Gabor

Will you marry me? Do you have any money?
Answer the second question first. - Groucho Marx

No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying. - Unknown

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. - Mignon McLaughlin

Whoever said money can't buy happiness simply didn't know where to go shopping. - Bo Derek

Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge. - Bill Cosby

We seldom give each other advice - I think that's the success of 25 years of marriage. - Laura Bush

I believe in the institution of marriage, and I intend to keep trying until I get it right. - Richard Pryor

My grandfather is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle. - Henny Youngman

If you marry a man who cheats on his wife, you'll be married to a man who cheats on his wife. - Ann Landers

Rituals are important. Nowadays it's hip not to be married. I'm not interested in being hip. - John Lennon

Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one. - Unknown

Model Wife: One who, when she spades the garden, picks up the fish worms and saves them for her husband - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I love being married. I was single for a long time, and I just got so sick of finishing my own sentences. - Brian Kiley

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

I married for love. But the obvious side benefit of having someone around to find my glasses cannot be ignored. - Cameron Esposito

Marriage is like a beleaguered fortress: those who are outside want to get in, and those inside want to get out. - French Proverb

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them. - Ogden Nash

My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates

Her capacity for family affection is extraordinary: when her third husband died, her hair turned quite gold from grief. - Oscar Wilde

The best reason for a knitter to marry is that you can't teach the cat to be impressed when you finish a lace scarf. - Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the only miracle the Vatican has overlooked. - Bill Cosby

My husband wanted one of those big-screen TVs for his birthday. So I just moved his chair closer to the one we have already. - Wendy Liebman

Love is the thing that enables a woman to sing while she mops up the floor after her husband has walked across it in his barn boots. - Hoosier Farmer