Husband Day Care Center

Marry money. - Max Shulman

A married man is a caged bird. - Spanish Proverb

Marry in haste, repent at leisure. - English Proverb

Knewlyweds: Second marriage for both - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

To marry the Irish is to look for poverty. - J.P. Donleavy

If you marry for money you will earn every penny. - Dr. Phil McGraw

A deaf husband and a blind wife make the best couple. - French Proverb

Second Marriage: The triumph of hope over experience. - Samuel Johnson

When you marry your mistress, you create a job vacancy. - James Goldsmith

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to. - Unknown

I want a girl just like the girl that married dear old Dad. - Oedipus Rex

My husband is a general's chauffeur somewhere in France. - Lillie Langtry

My husband said he needed more space. So I locked him outside. - Roseanne Barr

The key to success? Work hard, stay focused and marry a Kennedy. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

Keep thy eyes wide open before marriage, and half shut afterward. - Thomas Fuller

Marriage is but for a little while. It is alimony that is forever. - Quentin Crisp

He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of. - Mae West

Alcoholic: A person you don't like who drinks as much as you do - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Marriage, like a submarine, is only safe if you get all the way inside. - Frank Pittman

Marriage is too interesting an experiment to be tried only once or twice. - Eva Gabor

Sir, it is your duty to get married. You can't be always living for pleasure. - Oscar Wilde

The world has grown suspicious of anything that looks like a happily married life. - Oscar Wilde

When women are mad or depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. - Elayne Boosler

Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge. - Bill Cosby

Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel. - Leonardo da Vinci

My husband and I had our best sex during our divorce. It was like cheating on our lawyers. - Priscilla Lopez

I'm a very committed wife. I should be committed, too, for being married so many times. - Elizabeth Taylor

I believe in the institution of marriage, and I intend to keep trying until I get it right. - Richard Pryor

First of all you’ve got to have talent. And then you've got to marry her like I did. - George Burns

Hard work is the soundest investment. It provides a neat security for your widow's next husband. - Unknown

My husband always felt that a marriage and career don't mix. That's why he's never worked. - Phyllis Diller

My husband and I have figured out a really good system about the housework: neither one of us does it. - Dottie Archibald

Many marriages would be better if the husband and wife clearly understood that they are on the same side. - Zig Ziglar

Any married man should forget his mistakes - there's no use in two people remembering the same thing. - John C Maxwell

The Irish Catholic side was married to the life of an actor and I found out acting could be a form of prayer. - Liam Neeson

Marriage is like a beleaguered fortress: those who are outside want to get in, and those inside want to get out. - French Proverb

It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married. - Robert Frost

A husband is a guy who tells you when you’ve got on too much lipstick and helps you with your girdle when your hips stick. - Ogden Nash

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield

I should have suspected my husband was lazy. On our wedding day, his mother told me: "I'm not losing a son; I'm gaining a couch." - Phyllis Diller