Husband Day Care Center

Marriage is the sunset of love. - French Proverb

I married beneath me. All women do. - Lady Nancy Astor

A really good detective never gets married. - Raymond Chandler

Her husband was infidelicate with another woman. - Archie Bunker

A deaf husband and a blind wife make the best couple. - French Proverb

I want a girl just like the girl that married dear old Dad. - Oedipus Rex

The secret to a happy marriage? Do what your wife tells you. - Denzel Washington

The quickest way to know a woman is to go shopping with her. - Marcelene Cox

My husband is a general's chauffeur somewhere in France. - Lillie Langtry

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. - Milton Berle

Alcoholic: A person you don't like who drinks as much as you do - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I got a new set of golf clubs for my husband. Best trade I ever made. - Unknown

Marriage is better than leprosy because it's easier to get rid of. - WC Fields

College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage. - George Gobel

Marriage is very difficult. It's like a 5,000-piece jigsaw puzzle, all sky. - Cathy Ladman

I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career. - Gloria Steinem

I wanted to study to be a dental hygienist, marry a rich dentist, and hang it up. - Vicki Lawrence

Bachelors: Married men may have better halves, but bachelors have better quarters - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

My husband's German. Every night I get dressed up as Poland and he invades me. - Bette Midler

Marriage is one of the few institutions that allow a man to do as his wife pleases. - Milton Berle

A long marriage is two people trying to dance a duet and two solos at the same time. - Anne Taylor Fleming

Marriage is wonderful institution... if, of course, you like living in an institution. - Groucho Marx

How marriage ruins a man! It is as demoralizing as cigarettes, and far more expensive. - Oscar Wilde

Whoever said money can't buy happiness simply didn't know where to go shopping. - Bo Derek

We seldom give each other advice - I think that's the success of 25 years of marriage. - Laura Bush

The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing - and then marry him. - Cher

Without the will, marriage is a mockery; without the emotion, it is a drudgery. You need both. - Ravi Zacharias

I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about short and cheap? - Phyllis Diller

Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love, though I'd stepped in it a few times. - Rita Rudner

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight. - Phyllis Diller

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones

A woman should cleave into her husband. Right here in this house is where Edith's cleavage belongs. - Archie Bunker

When the clergyman's daughter
Drinks nothing but water
She's certain to finish on gin. - Rudyard Kipling

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house. - Rod Stewart

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her. - Agatha Christie

There is nothing in the world like the devotion of a married woman. It is a thing no married man knows anything about. - Oscar Wilde

Twenty years of romance make a woman look like a ruin, but twenty years of marriage make her something like a public building. - Oscar Wilde

Love is the thing that enables a woman to sing while she mops up the floor after her husband has walked across it in his barn boots. - Hoosier Farmer

Sexiness wears thin after a while and beauty fades, but to be married to a man who make you laugh every day, ah, now that's a real treat. - Joanne Woodward