Husband Day Care Center

Marry in haste, repent at leisure. - English Proverb

To marry the Irish is to look for poverty. - J.P. Donleavy

Can you fix my husband? He says he's broke. - Unknown

A happy marriage is the union of two forgivers. - Ruth Bell Graham

Before we make love my husband takes a pain killer. - Joan Rivers

Getting married is an incredible act of hopefulness. - Ashley Judd

I always say shopping is cheaper than a psychiatrist. - Tammy Faye Bakker

Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy. - Unknown

The quickest way to know a woman is to go shopping with her. - Marcelene Cox

Before you marry keep both eyes open; after marriage shut one. - Jamaican Proverb

I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years. - Sam Kinison

He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of. - Mae West

Men are my hobby. If I ever got married, I'd have to give it up. - Mae West

Marriage, like a submarine, is only safe if you get all the way inside. - Frank Pittman

A husband is what is left of a lover, after the nerve has been extracted. - Helen Rowland

I believe in love and marriage, but not necessarily with the same person. - John Travolta

Marriage is too interesting an experiment to be tried only once or twice. - Eva Gabor

Marriage requires a special talent like acting. Monogamy requires genius. - Warren Beatty

College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage. - George Gobel

The great majority of neuroses in women have their origin in the marriage bed. - Sigmund Freud

In marriage, being the right person is as important as finding the right person. - Wilbert Donald Gough

Sir, it is your duty to get married. You can't be always living for pleasure. - Oscar Wilde

The world has grown suspicious of anything that looks like a happily married life. - Oscar Wilde

Having a baby is like falling in love again, both with your husband and your child. - Tina Brown

Well, at least he has found his true love - what a pity he can't marry himself. - Frank Sinatra

My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to. - Rita Rudner

A long marriage is two people trying to dance a duet and two solos at the same time. - Anne Taylor Fleming

When women are mad or depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. - Elayne Boosler

Whoever said money can't buy happiness simply didn't know where to go shopping. - Bo Derek

I'm a very committed wife. I should be committed, too, for being married so many times. - Elizabeth Taylor

My husband, Fang, is so dumb I once said, "There's a dead bird." He looked up. - Phyllis Diller

The key to a long and healthy marriage is that, honestly, there's nothing worth fighting about. - Jay Leno

Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relation. - Mark Twain

My husband and I have figured out a really good system about the housework: neither one of us does it. - Dottie Archibald

Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard for the night, she can still survive. - WC Fields

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside desperate to get out. - Ogden Nash

I love being married. It's so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. - Rita Rudner

I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something is wrong with me. - Elayne Boosler

One advantage of marriage is that when you fall out of love with him or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until you fall in again. - Judith Viorst