#1 humor site on the 'net

Instead Of Flowers

A bartender's flower garden

Instead Of Flowers thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

Bar Balcony provides more scenery than potted flowers

QuotaBills
At my age flowers scare me. - George Burns

I like perfume and flowers. - Donatella Versace

The Earth laughs in flowers. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

A fox is a wolf who sends flowers. - Ruth Brown

Where flowers bloom, so does hope. - Lady Bird Johnson

I must have flowers, always and always. - Claude Monet

An old man loved is winter with flowers. - Unknown

Deep in their roots, all flowers keep the light. - Theodore Roethke

Hope is the only bee that makes honey without flowers. - Robert G Ingersoll

There are always flowers for those who want to see them. - Henri Matisse

There are flowers everywhere, for those who bother to look. - Henri Matisse

Since the thing perhaps is to eat flowers and not to be afraid. - e e cummings

You can cut all the flowers but you cannot keep Spring from coming. - Pablo Neruda

Where man sees but withered leaves, God sees sweet flowers growing. - Albert Laighton

I don't really get romance. Bring me fish or moose, not flowers. - Eden Robinson

When a man brings his wife flowers for no reason, there's a reason. - Molly McGee

A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin. - H L Mencken

Autumn is mellower, and what we lost in flowers, we more than gain in fruits. - Samuel Butler

Always it's Spring,and everyone's in love and flowers pick themselves. - e e cummings

A wedding is just like a funeral except that you get to smell your own flowers. - Grace Hansen

On Valentine's Day, I wired flowers for my mother-in-law, but she found the fuse. - Milton Berle

In the hopes of reaching the moon men fail to see the flowers that blossom at their feet. - Albert Schweitzer

Stretching his hand up to reach the stars, too often man forgets the flowers at his feet. - Jeremy Bentham

I want flowers, I don't want to text. What does that make me? What kind of dinosaur am I? - Jennifer Garner

Keep love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead. - Oscar Wilde

Even bees, the little almsmen of spring bowers, know there is richest juice in poison-flowers. - John Keats

If Springtime crawls out of the wild mouths of flowers, then surely, Winter crawls out of mine. - Cecilia Llompart

Plant your garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers. - Jose L Borges

Why buy flowers for Valentine's Day? Just go to a cemetery and collect a dozen off a few graves. - Jarod Kintz

The Herbs ought to be distilled when they are in their greatest vigor, and so ought the Flowers also. - Nicholas Culpeper

I would have brung you flowers too, but I read in a magazine that they suck up all the carbon monoxygen. - Archie Bunker

You cannot endow even the best machine with initiative; the jolliest steamroller will not plant flowers. - Walter Lippmann

I have gathered a posie of other men's flowers, and nothing but the thread that binds them is my own. - Michel de Montaigne

Let us decide on the route that we wish to take to pass our life, and attempt to sow that route with flowers. - Du Chatelet

If the English language made any sense, 'lackadaisical' would have something to do with a shortage of flowers. - Doug Larson

You love flowers, but you cut them. You love animals, but you eat them. You tell me you love me, so now I'm scared. - Unknown

It is always good to know, if only in passing, charming human beings. It refreshes one like flowers and woods and clear brooks. - George Eliot


2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

European Men - History Timeline

Raxe

Male Multitasker

Fork In The Road

Mega Samurai Sudoku Puzzles

Goat Trick

Genuine Fake Watches

Onward, My Noble Steed!

Edible Pet Clothing

Texas Diet

Grass Room

Stoolbus

Barn Owl Beauty

Car Elas Sale

Bestist

Cement Truck Lane

Cane Swimmers

Bartender Spill

Angry Mathematician

Matching Receipt

Where Nobody Speeds

A Good Woman

Front Row Seats