iPot

The vertizontal hold on the TV. - Archie Bunker

Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover! - Homer Simpson

Imitation is the sincerest form of television. - Fred Allen

Ah, TV respects me. It laughs with me, not at me! - Homer Simpson

When I was your age, television was called books. - William Goldman

Television proves that sight has a definite odor. - Gerald F Lieberman

Kids don't remember their best day of television. - Unknown

Life doesn't imitate art; it imitates bad television. - Woody Allen

Television has been the single greatest shaper of emptiness. - Ravi Zacharias

Let's bask in television's warm, glowing, warming glow. - Homer Simpson

Canadian cities looked the way American cities did on television. - William Gibson

I used to practice Tony speeches in my bathroom with my hairbrush. - Audra McDonald

Television is called a medium because anything good on it is rare. - Fred Allen

Television has brought back murder into the home... where it belongs. - Alfred Hitchcock

Running is an unnatural act, except from enemies and to the bathroom. - Unknown

My children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced on television. - Erma Bombeck

Getting an award from TV is like being kissed by someone with bad breath. - Mason Williams

I started singing in the bathroom. Nothing was coming out. It was ghastly. - Rod Stewart

There's so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the streets? - Dick Cavett

Do you realize if it weren't for Edison we'd be watching TV by candlelight? - Al Boliska

In California, they don't throw their garbage away - they make it into TV shows. - Woody Allen

There are two things that Jack Bauer never does. Show mercy, and go to the bathroom. - Kiefer Sutherland

I hate television. I hate it as much as peanuts. But I can't stop eating peanuts. - Orson Welles

I'd rather be able to face myself in the bathroom mirror than be rich and famous. - Ani DiFranco

For those of you watching who do not have television sets, live commentary is on Radio 2. - David Coleman

One of the most important gifts we have in television - the ability to heal through laughter. - Soleil M Frye

Jitterbug: 1. A Scotchman in front of a pay toilet; 2. Insect that's had too much coffee. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I have had my television aerials removed. It is the moral equivalent of a prostate operation. - Malcolm Muggeridge

With every bathroom renovation, there are three areas that I focus on: budget, function and style. - Candice Olson

At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. - George Carlin

I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom. - Eoin Colfer

If I don't work, I'll be sitting on the couch watching TV, eating popcorn and getting like a cow. - Celia Cruz

When will I learn? The answers to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV! - Homer Simpson

Why something in the public interest such as television news can be fought over, like a chain of hamburger stands, eludes me. - Jimmy Breslin

It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to squeeze in eight hours of TV a day. - Homer Simpson

Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. - Rita Rudner

I put my air conditioner in backwards. It got cold outside. The weatherman on TV was confused. "It was supposed to be hot today." - Steven Wright

My wife was a make-up artist, and she's a total product junkie. Our bathroom is packed full of lotions and potions so I end up trying them out. - Robert Carlyle

More people watch television and get their information that way than read books. I find new technology and new ways of communication very exciting. - Stephen Covey

What brought me into the TV business is what keeps me here and happy. You can learn something new every day if you have a really positive attitude. - Katie Couric