#1 humor site on the 'net

Irish Beef

Hopefully tastier than advertised

Irish Beef thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

How Irish beef is sold in the Netherlands

QuotaBills
Tacos are the food of genius. - Heather Brewer

Diets are mainly food for thought. - N Wylie Jones

Patience is the secret to good food. - Gail Simmons

It's okay to play with your food. - Emeril Lagasse

The most dangerous food is wedding cake. - American Saying

Laughter is brightest where food is best. - Irish Proverb

Then you add two forkfuls of cooking oil. - The French Chef

Fame is a fickle food upon a shifting plate. - Emily Dickinson

What poison is to food, self-pity is to life. - Oliver C. Wilson

I want my food dead. Not sick, not dying - dead. - Oscar Wilde

I'm tired of recipes assuming I have a stove. - Kevin Farzad

Where love sets the table, food tastes at its best. - French Proverb

I just love Chinese food. My favorite dish is number 27. - Clement Attlee

Food, love, mother and career: the four basic guilt groups. - Cathy Guisewite

Before eating, always take a little time to thank the food. - Arapaho Proverb

A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of. - Jane Austen

Smoke detectors are basically just you-suck-at-cooking detectors. - Julius Sharpe

Short of screaming-hot Thai food, everything can be suitable for kids too. - Guy Fieri

Your food is close to your stomach, but you must put it in your mouth first. - African Saying

Advice is like cooking - you should try it first before you feed it to others. - Unknown

The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook. - Julia Child

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants. - Unknown

On the Continent people have good food; in England people have good table manners. - George Mikes

An Englishman teaching an American about food is like the blind leading the one-eyed. - A.J. Liebling

The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later, you're hungry again. - George Miller

I like spaghetti bolognese, I like baked beans on toast. I hate French food. I hate fancy food. - Simon Cowell

The automatic stabilizer is unemployment insurance, food stamps, additional coverage of Medicaid. - Franklin Raines

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine

What my mother believed about cooking is that if you worked hard and prospered, someone else would do it for you. - Nora Ephron

No matter what the recipe, any baker can do wonders in the kitchen with some good ingredients and an upbeat attitude. - Buddy Valastro

A burrito is a delicious food item that breaks down all social barriers and leads to temporary spiritual enlightenment. - Lisi Harrison

The disparity between a restaurant's price and food quality rises in direct proportion to the size of the pepper mill. - Bryan Miller

I like simple food, seasoned with just salt, pepper, oil and vinegar. Complicated food and complicated lives are never good. - Sirio Maccioni

An expert is like the bottom of a double boiler. It shoots off a lot of steam, but it never really knows what's cooking. - Unknown

If another one of my Whole Food friends says my wife should have a home birth, I am going to punch all the soy on the planet. - Patton Oswalt

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and I think, "Well, that's not going to happen." - Unknown

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

I'll paddle board, swim in the ocean, roll in the sand, soak up the sun, eat good food, be with friends and family and go fishing with my dad. - Behati Prinsloo

The best way to lose weight is to close your mouth - something very difficult for a politician. Or watch your food - just watch it, don't eat it. - Edward I Kock


Upended Water Buffalo

2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Face Heater

Leap Year Shirt

World's Greatest Typo

Icehenge

Found It!

Puma Pants

Polar Bear Attack

Foot Sign Language

Winter Tires

Hooters Face Mask

Latte Art

Whiskey Toothpaste

Titanic's Non-Romantic Scene

Fake News

Steep Steps

Better Lawyer

Snow Detour

No Time For This

Kwik-Mart Math

Croatian Landscaping

Best Fairy Tale

Back In Five Minutes