#1 humor site on the 'net

Israeli TSA

Perfect solution for airport security

Israeli TSA thanks to Keith Blake

Eliminates need for full-body scanning

QuotaBills
If you've got a talent, protect it. - Jim Carrey

IN GOD WE TRUST: All others we virus scan - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

It is not death that alarms me, but dying. - Michel De Montaigne

The only thing chicken about Israel is their soup. - Bob Hope

Protect your enthusiasm from the negativity of others. - H. Jackson Brown Jr.

Lawyers are men whom we hire to protect us from lawyers. - Elbert Hubbard

A woman's best protection is a little money of her own. - Clare B Luce

Hand Scanner: Singles bar prowler looking for wedding rings - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

There is no security in this life. There is only opportunity. - Douglas MacAurthur

I would uphold the law if for no other reason but to protect myself. - Thomas More

We spend our time searching for security and hate it when we get it. - John Steinbeck

He prefers the security of known misery to the misery of unfamiliar insecurity. - Sheldon B. Kopp

Security is mostly a superstition. Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. - Helen Keller

It is true greatness to have in one the frailty of a man and the security of a god. - Lucius Annaeus Seneca

I wear a fun sock when I travel to give the security staff a well-deserved chuckle. - Chelsea Peretti

Age does not protect you from love. But love, to some extent, protects you from age. - Jeanne Moreau

You still can't find Israel on a map of the Middle East in a Palestinian schoolbook. - Suzanne Fields

Of all the tasks of government, the most basic is to protect its citizens from violence. - John Foster Dulles

It took one night to get Israel out of Egypt but forty years to get Egypt out of Israel. - George Morrison

A man's own good breeding is the best security against other people's ill manners. - Lord Chesterfield

The game is played not to protect the rules; rather, the rules are made to protect the game. - Ravi Zacharias

I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a father's protection. - Sigmund Freud

I have drawn inspiration from the Marine Corps, the Jewish struggle in Palestine and Israel, and the Irish. - Leon Uris

My parents live in a retirement community, which is basically a minimum-security prison with a golf course. - Joel Warshaw

Relying on the government to protect your privacy is like asking a peeping tom to install your window blinds. - John P Barlow

Too many people are thinking of security instead of opportunity. They seem to be more afraid of life than death. - James F. Bymes

You can't reach old age by another man's road. My habits protect my life but they would assassinate you. - Mark Twain

Tariff: A scale of taxes on imports, designed to protect the domestic producer against the greed of his consumer - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The only security men can have for their political liberty, consists in keeping their money in their own pockets. - Lysander Spooner

Tariff: A scale of taxes on imports, designed to protect the domestic producer against the greed of his consumer. - Ambrose Bierce

If you can't even acknowledge that you have to fix social security, that's not a very good starting point. - Rob Portman

People confuse amassing money with security, but it is not so. What a pity to confuse real security with making money. - Billy Graham

Airport screeners are now scanning holiday fruitcakes. Not even the scanners can tell what those little red things are. - David Letterman

Israel is still the only country in the world against which there is a written document to the effect that it must disappear. - Menachem Begin

As an experienced artist, I carry my work like a secret pregnancy. I am always aware of inner life and the need to protect it. - Julia Cameron

Accountant: 1. A noble insect; 2. A dutiful book balancer whose role within a corporation is to protect it from creative ideas. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

My best security is within the munitions of an immutable Jehovah, where His unalterable promises stand like giant walls of rock. - Charles H Spurgeon

Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other. - Oscar Ameringer

In a world of complex threats, our security and leadership depends on all elements of our power - including strong and principled diplomacy. - Barack Obama

Social Security's not the hard one to solve. Medicare, that is the gorilla in the room, and you've got to put all of it on the table. - Joe Biden


Political Promise Transporter

Jam Packed Suitcase

All White Meat

Alien Moon Landing

Nothing But Net

Bible Bar

Branding Inspiration for Graphic Designers

Original Homeland Security - 2nd Amendment

Sunday Weather Forecast

On The Eighth Day

Moses Parting the Ice Field

Texas Limo

No Smoking Fish

New Brunswick Swimming Pools

Box Car

Night Shift for a Computer Geek

Meep Meep

German Emergency Road Share

Bus Stop

Tell Me Why You Can't Work

The Last Photo I Took

Saskatchewan Harley

Secret Passage

PLZSTOP