#1 humor site on the 'net

Jogger's Weight Scale

Diet plans for the heavy of foot

Jogger's Weight Scale thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Wait for Weight invitation

QuotaBills
The first wealth is health. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Diets are mainly food for thought. - N Wylie Jones

Happiness is good health and a bad memory. - Ingrid Bergman

I'm not gaining weight. I'm living large. - Unknown

Of all the 36 alternatives, running away is best. - Chinese Proverb

Leave off all thin potations and addict thyself to sack. - William Shakespeare

Restore a man to his health, his purse lies open to thee. - Robert Burton

Love is or it ain't. Thin love ain't love at all. - Toni Morrison

Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory. - Albert Schweitzer

Always chase your dreams instead of running from your fears. - Unknown

If you ignore your health for long enough, it'll go away. - Unknown

The cardiologist's diet: - If it tastes good, spit it out. - Unknown

Desperation is a fellow shaving before stepping on the scales. - Unknown

Gossip is just news running ahead of itself in a red satin dress. - Liz Smith

Where there is laughter there is always more health than sickness. - Phyllis Bottome

There is no curing a sick man who believes himself to be in health. - Henri Amiel

Running is an unnatural act, except from enemies and to the bathroom. - Unknown

Being in a good frame of mind helps one keep in the picture of health. - Unknown

'Escargot' is French for 'fat crawling bag of phlegm'. - Dave Barry

Never let success get to your head. Never let failure get to your health. - Unknown

No disease that can be treated by diet should be treated by any other means. - Maimonides

I was in the ROTC. Of course, ROTC stood for "Running off to Canada." - Jay Leno

The two kinds of people on earth are the people who lift and the people who lean. - Unknown

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift

A man's health can be judged by which he takes two at a time - pills or stairs. - Joan Welsh

There are men running governments who shouldn't be allowed to play with matches. - Will Rogers

Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread and pumpkin pie. - Jim Davis

There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt. - Erma Bombeck

Cheerfulness is the best promoter of health and is as friendly to the mind as to the body. - Joseph Addison

If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free. - P.J. O'Rourke

Nobody can fail to lose weight in the jungle, unless they've got a secret stash of pork pies somewhere. - Colin Baker

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

Inside me there's a thin person struggling to get out, but I can usually sedate him with four or five cupcakes. - Bob Thaves

Sea spaghetti looks like dark fettuccine and has a similar texture - you can get it in health food stores or online. - Yotam Ottolenghi

A dark-chocolate truffle melts in my mouth, and I forget about everything else... even the fact that I'm on a diet. - Barbara Brooke

Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden

If you're skinny and you can't play hockey in Canada, you aren't left with a lot of options. I was left with running. - Malcolm Gladwell

I pray for forgiveness. For help and guidance. To be a better person. For the health of my family. For the world to be a better place. - Tyson Fury

New Pasta Diet: Just walk pasta bakery without stopping. Walk pasta candy store without stopping. Walk pasta ice cream shop without stopping. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The music that really turns me on is either running toward God or away from God. Both recognize the pivot, that God is at the center of the jaunt. - Bono


Saskatchewan Army

Productive Computers

Dogdems

Black Olives Matter

Food Tips

Fire Starter

Holiday Office

Good Driver

Guest Check

Redneck Shower Head

Deconstruction

It's Broken Now

Mirror Objects

Bicycle Skates

Baby Scan

Canadian Moose Dog

Praying & Preying Mantis

Toilet Paper For The Mother-In-Law

Texas Bank Security

Swimming Pool Reopening

WipeOut

Canadian Lemmings

Pantastic Crop

On A Roll - Only In Japan