Just Buried

Life is a near-death experience. - George Carlin

I hope they bury me near a strait man. - Groucho Marx

Biography lends to death a new terror. - Oscar Wilde

Death ends a life, not a relationship. - Jack Lemmon

Life and joy and beauty are better than dusty death. - Bertrand Russell

Death is nature's way of telling you to slow down. - Unknown

Drown in a vat of whiskey? Oh death, where is thy sting? - WC Fields

To live without risk for me would be tantamount to death. - Jacqueline Cochran

If it weren't for the olive, I'd starve to death. - Unknown

The death of a friend is equivalent to the loss of a limb. - German Proverb

When I die, bury me on the golf course so my husband will visit. - Unknown

Defeat is worse than death because you have to live with defeat. - Bill Musselman

Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate. - Ambrose Bierce

If life must not be taken too seriously, then so neither must death. - Samuel Butler

In this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes. - Benjamin Franklin

Death twitches my ear. "Live," he says; "I am coming." - Virgil

Was Uncle Oscar's death very untimely, you ask? Well, it was near lunch. - Archie Bunker

Death is just a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees. - J.J. Furnas

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome. - Isaac Asimov

My wallpaper and I are fighting a duel to the death. One of the other of us has to go. - Oscar Wilde

I do not agree with what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it. - Voltaire

I'm a Catholic and I can't commit suicide, but I plan to drink myself to death. - Jack Kerouac

Death is not extinguishing the light; it is putting out the lamp because dawn has come. - Rabindranath Tagore

When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty. - WC Fields

Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker

The Irish don't know what they want and are prepared to fight to the death to get it. - Sidney Littlewood

A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright

Easter is a time when God turned the inevitability of death into the invincibility of life. - Craig D Loundsbrough

The difference between death and taxes is death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets. - Will Rogers

I got well by talking. Death could not get a word in edgewise, grew discouraged, and traveled on. - Louise Erdrich

For death is swallowed up in victory. O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory? - I Corinthians 15:55

At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. - George Carlin

There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman? - Woody Allen

Life is better than death, if only because it is less boring, and because it has fresh peaches in it. - Alice Walker

The trouble with quotes about death is that 99.999 percent of them are made by people who are still alive. - Joshua Bruns

Melbourne is the kind of town that really makes you consider the question, "Is there life after death?" - Bette Midler

To be idle is a short road to death and to be diligent is a way of life; foolish people are idle, wise people are diligent. - Buddha

I can't build my hopes on a foundation of confusion, misery and death. I think peace and tranquility will return again. - Anne Frank

Every pessimist who ever lived has been buried in an unmarked grave. Tomorrow has always been better than today, and it always will be. - Paul Harvey

Dogs display reluctance and wrath
If you try to give them a bath;
They bury bones in hideaways
And half the time they trot sideaways. - Ogden Nash