Labour of Halloween

Birth patrol pills. - Archie Bunker

So many horrid Ghosts. - William Shakespeare

No gold, no Holy Ghost. - Samuel Butler

I only eat candy on Halloween. - Michael Trevino

Forget Cutie, I'd rather be Pumpkin! - Unknown

My only career goal is to be a Halloween icon. - Nuno Roque

Acting is like a Halloween mask that you put on. - River Phoenix

Now I know what a ghost is. Unfinished business. - Salman Rushdie

Halloween is an opportunity to be really creative. - Judy Gold

It's easier to dismiss ghosts in the daylight. - Patricia Briggs

Produce great pumpkins, the pies will follow later. - Unknown

At night, here in the library, the ghosts have voices. - Alberto Manguel

The muses are ghosts, and sometimes they come uninvited. - Stephen King

Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

Only the knife knows what goes on in the heart of a pumpkin. - Simone Schwarz-Bart

The pumpkin is always oranger on the other side of the patch. - Unknown

On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me. - Rodney Dangerfield

If pregnancy were a book, they would cut the last two chapters. - Nora Ephron

One year they wanted to make me poster boy - for birth control. - Rodney Dangerfield

A house with old furniture has no need of ghosts to be haunted. - Hope Mirrlees

Neither fire nor wind, birth nor death can erase our good deeds. - Buddha

Nothing on Earth so beautiful as the final haul on Halloween night. - Steve Almond

A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin. - H L Mencken

I'm not a real Halloween kind of guy, because Halloween is every day. - Al Jourgensen

In the haunted house of life, art is the only stair that doesn't creak. - Tom Robbins

I love Halloween: the cold air, the spooky dangers lurking around the corner. - Evan Peters

We're all just ghosts on a wire seeking the prick of an electric thought. - Robert Fanney

At the base and birth of every successful venture you will find an enthusiast. - Winston Churchill

I love you more than pumpkin spice latte but please don't make me prove it! - Unknown

My favorite word is 'pumpkin.' You are a pumpkin. Or you are not. I am. - Harrison E. Salisbury

I went to a haunted house, looked under the kitchen table, and found spirit gum. - Steven Wright

The most effective form of birth control I know is spending the day with my kids. - Jill Bensley

The people you love become ghosts inside of you, and like this you keep them alive. - Rob Montgomery

The ghosts of things that never happened are worse than the ghosts of things that did. - L.M. Montgomery

I actually have a stash of wigs for Halloween. But only for that. Not to play dress-up. - Alexa Vega

Monsters are real, and ghosts are real, too. They live inside us, and sometimes they win. - Stephen King

Message boards are like going to a Halloween masquerade party. Everybody has a screen name. - John Mackey

Make pumpkin bread as the default gift for everyone. It is cheap, it is beloved, it is carbs. - Karen Bender

I love to put on a wig, a costume, inhabit a different world and be called something different. - Susan Egan

Being in a band you can wear whatever you want - it's like an excuse for Halloween every day. - Gwen Stefani

I'd rather sit alone on a pumpkin and have it all to myself than be crowded on a velvet cushion. - Henry David Thoreau

Ghosts have a way of misleading you; they can make your thoughts as heavy as branches after a storm. - Rebecca Maizel

A certificate of live birth is not the same thing by any stretch of the imagination as a birth certificate. - Donald Trump

When witches go riding and black cats are seen,
The moon laughs and whispers, 'tis near Halloween. - Unknown

We used to go around tipping outhouses over, or turning over corn shocks on Halloween. Anything to be mean. - Loretta Lynn

Nudist Colony Halloween parties are especially scary. They give the word 'moon' a new cruel meaning. - Ray Palla

Why is it that people rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the people involved. - Mark Twain

The house smelled musty and damp, and a little sweet, as if it were haunted by the ghosts of long-dead cookies. - Neil Gaiman

Halloween is a day in which some people choose to wear a mask, while others finally feel safe to take theirs off. - Steve Maraboli

I wouldn't describe myself as lacking in confidence, but I would say that the ghosts you chase you never catch. - John Malkovich

Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped. - Sam Levenson

Do you think you're safe in a car with your seatbelt on? Dream on. My friend thought so. Now she's pregnant. - Anke Engelke

Menopause: because nature decided that pregnancy, labor, delivery, breastfeeding, and stretch marks wasn't enough. - Unknown

The circumstances of one's birth are irrelevant. It is what you do with the gift of life that determines who you are. - Mewtwo

The climate, the economic situation, rising birth rates; none of these things give me a lot of hope or reason to be optimistic. - David Attenborough

One of the signs of passing youth is the birth of a sense of fellowship with other human beings as we take our place among them. - Virginia Woolf

One need not be a chamber to be haunted;
One need not be a house;
The brain has corridors surpassing
Material place. - Emily Dickinson

All Halloween candy pales next to candy corn, if only because candy corn used to appear, like the Great Pumpkin, solely on Halloween. - Rosecrans Baldwin

Instead of doing cinnamon, nutmeg, and all those baking spices I'll have one spice that's for sweets, and that's pumpkin pie spice. - Sandra Lee

The light of a new day always chases the shadows of the night away, and shows us that the shape of our fears is only the ghost of our own minds. - Terry Goodkind

All my life, I have been a celebrant of Halloween. For me, it is the most important day of the year, the turning point in the old pagan calendar. - John Burnside

I love the scents of winter! For me, it's all about the feeling you get when you smell pumpkin spice, cinnamon, nutmeg, gingerbread and spruce. - Taylor Swift

This Halloween, the most popular mask is the Arnold Schwarzenegger mask. And the best part? With a mouth full of candy you will sound just like him. - Conan O'Brien

Being a dad isn't just about eating a huge bag of gummy bears as your wife gives birth. It means being comfortable with the word 'hero.' - Ryan Reynolds