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Labour of Halloween

A special patient arrives in the delivery room

Labour of Halloween thanks to Linda Gravelle

The pain of childbirth on October 31st

QuotaBills
Birth patrol pills. - Archie Bunker

No gold, no Holy Ghost. - Samuel Butler

Pumpkin pie fixes everything. - Unknown

I only eat candy on Halloween. - Michael Trevino

Art is a house that tries to be haunted. - Emily Dickinson

Forget Cutie, I'd rather be Pumpkin! - Unknown

My only career goal is to be a Halloween icon. - Nuno Roque

It's easier to dismiss ghosts in the daylight. - Patricia Briggs

Costumes and scenery alone will not attract audiences. - Anna Held

At night, here in the library, the ghosts have voices. - Alberto Manguel

My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on. - Joan Rivers

Graveyards were the one place Belladonna never saw ghosts. - Helen Stringer

There is magic in the night when pumpkins glow by moonlight. - Unknown

After your death, you will be what you were before your birth. - Arthur Schopenhauer

Studio 54 made Halloween in Hollywood look like a PTA meeting. - Lorna Luft

One year they wanted to make me poster boy - for birth control. - Rodney Dangerfield

A house with old furniture has no need of ghosts to be haunted. - Hope Mirrlees

Neither fire nor wind, birth nor death can erase our good deeds. - Buddha

There is no cure for birth and death, save to enjoy the interval. - George Santayana

I love the spirit of Halloween and the energy that comes with it. - Katharine McPhee

My Birth Certificate is so old, it's written in Roman Numerals. - Bill Carter

A very small degree of hope is sufficient to cause the birth of love. - Stendhal

Misers part with nothing until they die. Then they give up the ghost. - Latin Proverb

Intellectual growth should commence at birth and cease only at death. - Albert Einstein

A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin. - H L Mencken

I'm not a real Halloween kind of guy, because Halloween is every day. - Al Jourgensen

The idea of dying and coming back is what makes the Halloween films work. - Donald Pleasence

You cannot climb the ladder of success dressed in the costume of failure. - Zig Ziglar

In the haunted house of life, art is the only stair that doesn't creak. - Tom Robbins

I love Halloween: the cold air, the spooky dangers lurking around the corner. - Evan Peters

At the base and birth of every successful venture you will find an enthusiast. - Winston Churchill

This poor pumpkin gave in to rot,
and all that's left is pumpkin snot. - Shirley Thomas

I love you more than pumpkin spice latte but please don't make me prove it! - Unknown

My favorite word is 'pumpkin.' You are a pumpkin. Or you are not. I am. - Harrison E. Salisbury

The most effective form of birth control I know is spending the day with my kids. - Jill Bensley

Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread and pumpkin pie. - Jim Davis

Corpse pose restores life. Dead parts of your being fall away, the ghosts are released. - Unknown

I actually have a stash of wigs for Halloween. But only for that. Not to play dress-up. - Alexa Vega

No one escapes his fate, not the coward, nor the brakeman, from the moment of his birth. - Homer

Maybe all the people who say ghosts don't exist are just afraid to admit that they do. - Michael Ende

I love to put on a wig, a costume, inhabit a different world and be called something different. - Susan Egan

I never really address myself to any image anybody has of me. That's like fighting with ghosts. - Sally Field

Ghosts have a way of misleading you; they can make your thoughts as heavy as branches after a storm. - Rebecca Maizel

Everything is for sale in Hollywood; the fairy tale, the costume, the pumpkin, the footman and the mice. - Amanda Eliasch

A certificate of live birth is not the same thing by any stretch of the imagination as a birth certificate. - Donald Trump

The pumpkin hearing, "Let's carve and scoop,"
Ran fast as he could, leaving pumpkin poop. - Shirley Thomas

I see my face in the mirror and go, 'I'm a Halloween costume? That's what they think of me?' - Drew Carey

Nudist Colony Halloween parties are especially scary. They give the word 'moon' a new cruel meaning. - Ray Palla

The farther we've gotten from the magic and mystery of our past, the more we've come to need Halloween. - Paula Guran

The house smelled musty and damp, and a little sweet, as if it were haunted by the ghosts of long-dead cookies. - Neil Gaiman

If human beings had genuine courage, they'd wear their costumes every day of the year, not just on Halloween. - Douglas Coupland

Halloween is a day in which some people choose to wear a mask, while others finally feel safe to take theirs off. - Steve Maraboli

I wouldn't describe myself as lacking in confidence, but I would say that the ghosts you chase you never catch. - John Malkovich

Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped. - Sam Levenson

Menopause: because nature decided that pregnancy, labor, delivery, breastfeeding, and stretch marks wasn't enough. - Unknown

If another one of my Whole Food friends says my wife should have a home birth, I am going to punch all the soy on the planet. - Patton Oswalt

It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to squeeze in eight hours of TV a day. - Homer Simpson

The climate, the economic situation, rising birth rates; none of these things give me a lot of hope or reason to be optimistic. - David Attenborough

All Halloween candy pales next to candy corn, if only because candy corn used to appear, like the Great Pumpkin, solely on Halloween. - Rosecrans Baldwin

It is good for a man to invite his ghosts into his warm interior, out of the wild night, into the firelight, out of the howling dark. - A.S. Byatt

I think, at a child's birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift should be curiosity. - Eleanor Roosevelt

Without this playing with fantasy no creative work has ever yet come to birth. The debt we owe to the play of the imagination is incalculable. - Carl Jung

Instead of doing cinnamon, nutmeg, and all those baking spices I'll have one spice that's for sweets, and that's pumpkin pie spice. - Sandra Lee

All my life, I have been a celebrant of Halloween. For me, it is the most important day of the year, the turning point in the old pagan calendar. - John Burnside

Being a dad isn't just about eating a huge bag of gummy bears as your wife gives birth. It means being comfortable with the word 'hero.' - Ryan Reynolds


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