Late Lecture

Old age comes at a bad time. - Sue Banducci

Old age is life's parody. - Simone de Beauvoir

I want to die young at a ripe old age. - Ashley Montagu

The old horse in the stable still yearns to run. - Mongolian Proverb

Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics. - Fletcher Knebel

The gods bestowed on him the gift of perpetual old age. - Oscar Wilde

Men will let you abuse them only if you make them laugh. - Henry Ward Beecher

I know I can't cheat death, but I can cheat old age. - Darwin Deason

If youth had but the knowledge and old age the strength. - French Proverb

Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves. - Phyllis Diller

When you have no basis for an argument, abuse the plaintiff. - Cicero

Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life. - Daniel F E Auber

I'm aging like fine wine. I'm getting complex and fruity. - Unknown

Never have I enjoyed youth so thoroughly as I have in my old age. - George Santayana

Old age comes on suddenly, and not gradually as is first thought. - Emily Dickinson

Man fools himself. He prays for a long life, and he fears an old age. - Chinese Proverb

Don't abuse your friends and expect them to consider it criticism. - Ed Howe

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy. - Frank Sinatra

I suppose real old age begins when one looks backward rather than forward. - May Sarton

I phoned my Dad to tell him I had stopped smoking. He called me a quitter. - Steven Pearl

The key to successful aging is to pay as little attention to it as possible. - Judith Regan

Advanced old age is when you sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going. - Eliakim Katz

W.C. Fields has a profound respect for old age. Especially when it's bottled. - Gene Fowler

Those who love deeply never grow old; they may die of old age, but they die young. - Dorothy Canfield Fisher

Sorry for being late. I got caught up enjoying my last few minutes of not being here. - Unknown

More people would live to a ripe old age if they weren't too busy providing for it. - Unknown

There is no pleasure worth forgoing just for an extra three years in the geriatric ward. - John Mortimer

Aging is the extraordinary process where you become the person you always should have been. - David Bowie

I don't drink these days. I am allergic to alcohol and narcotics. I break out in handcuffs. - Robert Downey Jr.

Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol or morphine or idealism. - Carl Jung

There are only three things that can kill a farmer: lightning, rolling over in a tractor, and old age. - Bill Bryson

I'm learning in my old age that the only thing you can do to keep your sanity is to stay in the moment. - Willem Dafoe

Old age is an excellent time for outrage. My goal is to say or do at least one outrageous thing every week. - Maggie Kuhn

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine

If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving, you don't actually live longer; it just seems longer. - Clement Freud

There is more refreshment and stimulation in a nap, even of the briefest, than in all the alcohol ever distilled. - Ovid

I have this theory that chocolate slows down the aging process. It may not be true, but do I dare take the chance? - Unknown

You end up as you deserve. In old age you must put up with the face, the friends, the health, and the children you have earned. - Fay Weldon

When I have an idea, I turn down the flame, as if it were a little alcohol stove, as low as it will go. Then it explodes and that is my idea. - Ernest Hemingway

I definitely believe marijuana helps with menstruation. Since I started smoking pot, my girlfriend’s period has become painless for me. - Randy Kagan