Late Lecture

Old age comes at a bad time. - Sue Banducci

To stop aging, keep on raging. - Michael Forbes

Old age is no place for sissies. - Bette Davis

Pity is just another form of abuse. - Michael J. Fox

I want to die young at a ripe old age. - Ashley Montagu

Old age is always 15 years older than I am. - Bernard Baruch

Old age is like underwear, it creeps up on you. - Unknown

Smoking means always having to say you're sorry. - Tom Ferguson

If youth had but the knowledge and old age the strength. - French Proverb

One of the many pleasures of old age is giving things up. - Malcolm Muggeridge

Fourty is the old age of youth; 50 is the youth of old age. - Victor Hugo

When you have no basis for an argument, abuse the plaintiff. - Cicero

Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life. - Daniel F E Auber

Old age is the most unexpected of all things that happen to a man. - Leon Trotsky

Don't let aging get you down. It's too hard to get back up. - John Wagner

Cherish all your happy moments: they make a fine cushion for old age. - Christopher Morley

Forget aging. If you're six feet above ground, it's a good day. - Faith Hill

In youth we run into difficulties; in old age difficulties run into us. - Josh Billings

I phoned my Dad to tell him I had stopped smoking. He called me a quitter. - Steven Pearl

We look forward to a disorderly, vigorous, unhonored and disreputable old age. - Don Marquis

Those who love deeply never grow old; they may die of old age, but they die young. - Dorothy Canfield Fisher

Sorry for being late. I got caught up enjoying my last few minutes of not being here. - Unknown

More people would live to a ripe old age if they weren't too busy providing for it. - Unknown

Learning is an ornament in prosperity, a refuge in adversity, and a provision in old age. - Aristotle

The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball. - Doug Larson

Smoking kills. And if you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life. - Brooke Shields

He's so full of alcohol, if you put a lighted wick in his mouth he'd burn for three days. - Groucho Marx

Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard, there is nothing you can do. - Golda Meir

There are only three things that can kill a farmer: lightning, rolling over in a tractor, and old age. - Bill Bryson

In youth the days are short and the years are long; in old age the years are short and the days are long. - Nikita I Panin

To keep the heart unwrinkled, to be hopeful, kindly, cheerful, reverent - that is to triumph over old age. - Thomas Bailey Aldrich

When it comes to old age we're all in the same boat, only some of us have been aboard a little longer. - Leo Probst

Old age is an excellent time for outrage. My goal is to say or do at least one outrageous thing every week. - Maggie Kuhn

Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read. - George Burns

There is more refreshment and stimulation in a nap, even of the briefest, than in all the alcohol ever distilled. - Ovid

I have made an important discovery - that alcohol, taken in sufficient quantities, produces all the effects of intoxication. - Oscar Wilde

Alcohol is not in my vodkabulary. However, I looked it up on whiskeypedia and learned if you drink too much of it, it's likely tequilya. - Unknown

When I have an idea, I turn down the flame, as if it were a little alcohol stove, as low as it will go. Then it explodes and that is my idea. - Ernest Hemingway

I definitely believe marijuana helps with menstruation. Since I started smoking pot, my girlfriend’s period has become painless for me. - Randy Kagan

Old age has a great sense of calm and freedom. When the passions have relaxed their hold you have escaped, not from one master, but from many. - Plato