#1 humor site on the 'net

Late Lecture

Preparing for a late night confrontation

Late Lecture thanks to Keith Blake

Late timing leads to elderly showdown

QuotaBills
Old age comes at a bad time. - Sue Banducci

To stop aging, keep on raging. - Michael Forbes

Old age is no place for sissies. - Bette Davis

Smoking cures weight problems... eventually. - Steven Wright

The old horse in the stable still yearns to run. - Mongolian Proverb

Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics. - Fletcher Knebel

Smoking means always having to say you're sorry. - Tom Ferguson

One of the many pleasures of old age is giving things up. - Malcolm Muggeridge

Fourty is the old age of youth; 50 is the youth of old age. - Victor Hugo

I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. - Winston Churchill

Man fools himself. He prays for a long life, and he fears an old age. - Chinese Proverb

Cherish all your happy moments: they make a fine cushion for old age. - Christopher Morley

The tragedy of old age is not that one is old, but that one is young. - Oscar Wilde

Old age at least gives me an excuse for not being very good at things. - Thomas Sowell

Don't abuse your friends and expect them to consider it criticism. - Ed Howe

In youth we run into difficulties; in old age difficulties run into us. - Josh Billings

To alcohol! The cause of - and solution to - all of life's problems. - Homer Simpson

I phoned my Dad to tell him I had stopped smoking. He called me a quitter. - Steven Pearl

The key to successful aging is to pay as little attention to it as possible. - Judith Regan

Advanced old age is when you sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going. - Eliakim Katz

How incessant and great are the ills with which a prolonged old age is replete. - C S Lewis

W.C. Fields has a profound respect for old age. Especially when it's bottled. - Gene Fowler

Those who love deeply never grow old; they may die of old age, but they die young. - Dorothy Canfield Fisher

Smoking won't send you to hell; it'll just make it like you've been there. - Phil Callaway

Why is it that everybody's suing the tobacco companies and not the alcohol companies? - Donald Trump

Aging is the extraordinary process where you become the person you always should have been. - David Bowie

You can lead audiences to a half-dressed, aging pop star but you can't make them watch. - Megan Basham

My comfort is, that old age, that ill layer-up of beauty, can do no more spoil upon my face. - William Shakespeare

He's so full of alcohol, if you put a lighted wick in his mouth he'd burn for three days. - Groucho Marx

Three hundred years of humiliation, abuse and deprivation cannot be expected to find voice in a whisper. - Martin Luther King Jr

I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me. - Hunter S Thompson

Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard, there is nothing you can do about it. - Golda Meir

Autumn is really the best of the seasons; and I'm not sure that old age isn't the best part of life. - C S Lewis

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine

I have this theory that chocolate slows down the aging process. It may not be true, but do I dare take the chance? - Unknown

One should never make one's debut in a scandal. One should reserve that to give interest to one's old age. - Oscar Wilde

I have made an important discovery - that alcohol, taken in sufficient quantities, produces all the effects of intoxication. - Oscar Wilde

You end up as you deserve. In old age you must put up with the face, the friends, the health, and the children you have earned. - Fay Weldon

Alcohol is not in my vodkabulary. However, I looked it up on whiskeypedia and learned if you drink too much of it, it's likely tequilya. - Unknown

I definitely believe marijuana helps with menstruation. Since I started smoking pot, my girlfriend’s period has become painless for me. - Randy Kagan


Saskatchewan Freeway

They All Look So Jacozy

Sunset Eclipse

Ikea Blueprint

Flight of the Ladybug

Nerve Twitch

Yellowstone Bears

Kayak Funeral

Dutch Bike

Breadlace

Sled Dog

Hog Hunter

Magic Puppies

Log Sticks

Tree Face

Camper Tank

Shipley Donut Pants

Distressing Artwork

Child's Motorcycle Helmet

Montana Mountain Bike

Sealtastic

Bland Entrance

Cruising Advice

Cat Dugout