Laundry Done

Hogwash: Pig's laundry. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Housework, if you do it right, can kill you. - Erma Bombeck

Earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust. - The Book of Common Prayer

Fireplace: An office used for discharging people - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance? - Phyllis Diller

Marrying is easy - it's housework that's hard. - Proverb

Love. Of course, love. Flames for a year, ashes for 30. - Giuseppi di Lampedusa

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance. - Unknown

People who fight fire with fire usually end up with ashes. - Abigail Van Buren

You'll never be as lazy as whoever names the fireplace. - Unknown

I think housework is the reason most women go to the office. - Heloise Cruse

God made rainy days so gardeners could get the housework done. - Unknown

Athlete: A dignified bunch of muscles, unable to split wood or sift ashes - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Yesterday is ashes; tomorrow wood. Only today does the fire burn brightly. - Eskimo Proverb

A bright person can always think of something better to do than housework. - Ruby Lou Barnhill

Housework is what a woman does that nobody notices unless she hasn't done it. - Evan Esar

Housework is work directly opposed to the possibility of human self-actualization. - Ann Oakley

If you meet someone who can cook and do housework, don't hesitate a minute - marry him! - Rita Rudner

Said the daughter: "I don't have to help my Mom with the housework. She knows how." - Unknown

I wish to be cremated. One tenth of my ashes shall be given to my agent, as written in our contract. - Groucho Marx

Housework is a treadmill from futility to oblivion with stop-offs at tedium and counter productivity. - Erma Bombeck

They shared the chores of living as some couples do - she did most of the work and he appreciated it. - Paula Gosling

My husband and I have figured out a really good system about the housework: neither one of us does it. - Dottie Archibald

Gonna be incrimated... they're gonna keep the ashes around the house in one of them silver urinals. - Archie Bunker

Wood: That remarkable material which burns so easily in a forest and with such difficulty in a fireplace - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

There is no need to do any housework at all. After the first four years the dirt doesn't get any worse. - Quentin Crisp

I hate housework. You make the beds, you wash the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again. - Joan Rivers

The scorn men express for a male who does housework is exceeded only by their aversion to a woman who doesn't. - Penny Kome

Laundry's easier when you live alone. Fifteen minutes before a date, put 'em on, dry 'em with a hair blower. - Elayne Boosler

I have a microwave fireplace in my house... The other night I laid down in front of the fire for the evening in two minutes. - Steven Wright

I like to do things for my wife on Valentine's Day. I open the door for her when she puts laundry in the washing machine. - Milton Berle

When it comes to housework the one thing no book of household management can ever tell you is how to begin. Or maybe I mean why. - Katharine Whitehorn

My son really has the spirit of Valentine's Day. When he was in college, he used to send his mother a heart-shaped box of laundry. - Milton Berle