Leave My Drink Alone

Wine is bottled poetry. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Beer speaks. People mumble. - Tony McGee

Payday came and with it beer. - Rudyard Kipling

I like a wine that fights back. - John Steed

Wine and children speak the truth. - Greek Proverb

Does wine count as a serving of fruit? - Joe-kster

I like my whiskey old and my women young. - Errol Flynn

Life is too short to drink the house wine. - Helen Thomas

I'm Hybrid. I run on chocolate and wine. - Unknown

Milk without fat is like nonalcoholic Scotch. - Andy Rooney

Step aside Coffee. This is a job for Alcohol. - Unknown

Wine is the flower in the buttonhole of life. - Werumeus Buning

When life hands you lemons, make whiskey sours. - WC Fields

Talking to you is like casting pearls into wine. - Archie Bunker

Everything's better with bacon and red wine. - Dianne Harman

As a cure for worrying, work is better than whiskey. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I should never have switched from Scotch to martinis. - Humphrey Bogart

I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food. - WC Fields

There was a sound in their voices which suggested rum. - Robert Louis Sevenson

The fountain of youth is a mixture of gin and vermouth. - Cole Porter

What two ideas are more inseparable than Beer and Britannia? - Sydney Smith

I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. - Tommy Cooper

Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Wilhelm II

I'm only a beer teetotaller, not a champagne teetotaller. - George Bernard Shaw

One martini is all right, two is too many, three is not enough. - James Thurber

Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends. - Tom Waits

I'm aging like fine wine. I'm getting complex and fruity. - Unknown

I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. - Winston Churchill

Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II

A raise is like a martini: it elevates the spirit, but only temporarily. - Dan Seligman

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy. - Frank Sinatra

A bottle of wine contains more philosophy than all the books in the world. - Louis Pasteur

I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine. - Peter Ustinov

If one glass of wine is good for you, just imagine what a whole bottle could do! - Unknown

I'll bring ya a bottle of champagne. Maybe I'll even bring home a whole maggot. - Archie Bunker

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own scotch, you bring your own rocks. - George Burns

Measure thy life by loss instead of gain, not by the wine drunk, but the wine poured forth. - Harriet King

Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake. - WC Fields

Age is just a number. It's totally irrelevant unless, of course, you happen to be a bottle of wine. - Joan Collins

When the clergyman's daughter
Drinks nothing but water
She's certain to finish on gin. - Rudyard Kipling

I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me. - Hunter S Thompson

The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker

I have made an important discovery - that alcohol, taken in sufficient quantities, produces all the effects of intoxication. - Oscar Wilde

A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine; something Brussels Sprouts never do. - P.J. O'Rourke

Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry

In those days the best painkiller was ice. It wasn't addictive, and it was particularly effective if you poured some whiskey over it. - George Burns

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown

Morals are not, like bacon, to be cured by hanging; nor, like wine, to be improved by sea voyages; nor, like honey, to be preserved in cells. - William Taylor

If you sang "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" and counted all the numbers mentioned throughout the entire song, it would add up to 14,850. - Joe-kster