Liquor Store Miracle

Payday came and with it beer. - Rudyard Kipling

I work until beer o'clock. - Stephen King

Wine and children speak the truth. - Greek Proverb

Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder. - Addison Mizner

Does wine count as a serving of fruit? - Joe-kster

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. - Homer Simpson

Wine improves with age. I improve with wine. - Unknown

Beer: The method of turning grain into urine. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. - George Carlin

Hope for a miracle. But don't depend on one. - Talmud

Talking to you is like casting pearls into wine. - Archie Bunker

Beer, it's the best damn drink in the world. - Jack Nicholson

Everything's better with bacon and red wine. - Dianne Harman

I should never have switched from Scotch to martinis. - Humphrey Bogart

Bladder: The human apparatus that pays the tax on beer - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If God forbade drinking, would He have made wine so good? - Cardinal Richelieu

A slow miracle is no easier to perform than an instant one. - C S Lewis

Some call it Cocktail Hour. To me, it's a support group. - Unknown

I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. - Tommy Cooper

I'm only a beer teetotaller, not a champagne teetotaller. - George Bernard Shaw

I'm aging like fine wine. I'm getting complex and fruity. - Unknown

You ought to get out of those wet clothes and into a dry martini. - Mae West

Men are like wine. Some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age. - Pope John XXIII

To me, every hour of the day and night is an unspeakably perfect miracle. - Walt Whitman

In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol - it was the worst 20 minutes of my life. - George Best

You can lead a horse to water but I'd rather ride it to the liquor store. - Wayne Nowazek

I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine. - Peter Ustinov

If one glass of wine is good for you, just imagine what a whole bottle could do! - Unknown

New York champagne - that's a phony label. They don't grow raisins in New York. - Archie Bunker

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own scotch, you bring your own rocks. - George Burns

My heart says chocolate and wine but my jeans say, for the love of God women, eat a salad. - Unknown

I'm like old wine. They don't bring me out very often - but I'm well preserved. - Rose Kennedy

Choosing forgiveness opens the door of your heart and makes way for a miracle in your life. - Victoria Osteen

Wine makes a man more pleased with himself. I do not say it makes him more pleasing to others. - Samuel Johnson

Just as Jesus created wine from water, we humans are capable of transmuting emotion into music. - Carlos Santana

An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown

Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake. - WC Fields

Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol or morphine or idealism. - Carl Jung

Age is just a number. It's totally irrelevant unless, of course, you happen to be a bottle of wine. - Joan Collins

There is more refreshment and stimulation in a nap, even of the briefest, than in all the alcohol ever distilled. - Ovid

Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women and Irish Whiskey. The other ten percent I'll probably waste. - Tug McGraw

You pretty much can't get away from bacon or whiskey in the South. Put a doughnut in it and you'd be good to go. - Hillary Scott

It was so quiet, a reservation kind of quiet, where you can hear somebody drinking whiskey on the rocks three miles away. - Sherman Alexie

For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the only miracle the Vatican has overlooked. - Bill Cosby

Yes, one can repent of moral transgression. The miracle of forgiveness is real, and true repentance is accepted of the Lord. - Ezra T Benson

There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle. - Albert Einstein

Sometimes a miracle is a change in material conditions, such as physical healing. At other times, it is a psychological or emotional change. - Marianne Williamson

Morals are not, like bacon, to be cured by hanging; nor, like wine, to be improved by sea voyages; nor, like honey, to be preserved in cells. - William Taylor

The simple act of opening a bottle of wine has brought more happiness to the human race than all the collective governments in the history of earth. - Jim Harrison