#1 humor site on the 'net

Luke FloorWalker

May The Floors Be With You

Luke FloorWalker thanks to Keith Blake

Wood floor specialists in Falmouth, Cornwall, England

QuotaBills
Now, young Skywalker... you will die. - The Emperor

For NASA, space is still a high priority. - Dan Quayle

Good Anakin. Good. Kill him. Kill him now. - Chancellor Palpatine

What we need is Star Peace and not Star Wars. - Mikhail Gorbachev

Space ails us moderns: we are sick with space. - Robert Frost

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. - George Carlin

It is the empty space which makes the room useful. - Lao-tzu

I put hardwood floors on top of wall-to-wall carpet. - Steven Wright

He who sleeps on the floor will not fall off the bed. - Robert Gronock

I only have two passions: space exploration and hip hop. - Buzz Aldrin

Are you really sure that a floor can't also be a ceiling? - M.C. Escher

My husband said he needed more space. So I locked him outside. - Roseanne Barr

Opportunity dances with those who are already on the dance floor. - Jackson Brown

Life is not having been told that the man has just waxed the floor. - Ogden Nash

You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on. - Dean Martin

The bodies in my floor all trusted someone. Now I walk on them to tea. - Victoria Schwab

My honeymoon night was spent on the floor in the bathroom with my mother. - Ronnie Spector

The dinosaurs became extinct because they didn't have a space program. - Larry Niven

Humor does not diminish the pain - it makes the space around it get bigger. - Allen Klein

If women can be railroad workers in Russia, why can't they fly in space? - Valentina Tereshkova

Anakin, you're breaking my heart! And you're going down a path I cannot follow! - Padme

Great music is as much about the space between the notes as it is about the notes themselves. - Sting

Men are like linoleum floors. Lay 'em right and you can walk all over them for thirty years. - Betsy Salkind

Most whale photos you see show whales in this beautiful blue water - it's almost like space. - Brian Skerry

Don't let negative and toxic people rent space in your head. Raise the rent and kick them out. - Zig Ziglar

Just be yourself, and hopefully they can shape an epic space adventure around exactly who you are. - Chris Pratt

The way you can understand all of the social media is as the creation of a new kind of public space. - Danah Boyd

The larger office, the corner space, the extra window are the teddy bears and tricycles of adult office life. - Willard Gaylin

When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. - Tom Hodgkinson

Be ruthless about your calendar - stick to it, hell or high water but create space for unstructured time as well. - Arjun Arora

Hello. I don't believe we have been introduced. R2-D2? A pleasure to meet you. I am C-3PO, Human-Cyborg Relations. - C-3PO

Oh my. Space travel sounds rather perilous. I can assure you they will never get me on one of those dreadful Star Ships. - C-3PO

The real lover is the man who can thrill you by kissing your forehead or smiling into your eyes or just staring into space. - Marilyn Monroe

As I hurtled through space, one thought kept crossing my mind - every part of this rocket was supplied by the lowest bidder. - John Glenn

The space in a needle's eye is sufficient for two friends, but the whole world is scarcely big enough to hold two enemies. - Solomon Ibn Gabirol

The world, the race, the soul - in space and time the universes,
All bound as is befitting each - all surely going somewhere. - Walt Whitman

Love is the thing that enables a woman to sing while she mops up the floor after her husband has walked across it in his barn boots. - Hoosier Farmer

I had fried octopus last night. You have to be really quiet when you eat it. Otherwise, it emits a cloud of black smoke and falls on the floor. - Steven Wright

Don't listen to those who say you're taking too big a chance. If no one ever took risks, Michelangelo would have painted the Sistine floor. - Neil Simon

Some primal termite knocked on wood,
And tasted it, and found it good;
That is why your Cousin May
Fell through the parlor floor today. - Ogden Nash


2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Ambition

Cold Books

Ikea Blueprint

Waterslide Closet

Canadian Whiskey

Car-Eating Cow

Tea For Two

Paint Pants

Sea Sand Art

Grief Bacon

Respect For Grapes

Up Purriscope

Fresh Chicken

Ice Climbing Building

Does Your Hedgehog Bite?

Lazy Line Painters

Vegan Brownies

From Start To Finish

Milkshake Diet

Hand Speech

Software Cake

Bland Entrance

Preikestolen Pulpit Rock