#1 humor site on the 'net

Maid Confusion

Clearing up who does the housework

Maid Confusion thanks to Mike King

A relationship 'not maid' for him

QuotaBills
Some leaders are born women. - Unknown

Man has his will, but woman has her way. - Oliver Wendell Holmes Sr

I like my whiskey old and my women young. - Errol Flynn

A man's only as old as the woman he feels. - Groucho Marx

I'm not confused. I'm just well mixed. - Robert Frost

The woman cries before the wedding and the man after. - Polish Proverb

I think if I were a woman I'd wear coffee as a perfume. - John Van Druten

If you can make a woman laugh, you can make her do anything. - Marilyn Monroe

Behind every successful man is a woman. Behind her is his wife. - Groucho Marx

May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. - George Carlin

Women's styles may change but their designs remain the same. - Oscar Wilde

She's loaded with this, waddya call, women's intermission. - Archie Bunker

How do you feel about women's rights? I like either side of them. - Groucho Marx

My greatest regret is not knowing at 30 what I knew about women at 60. - Arthur Miller

If thou art a master, sometimes be blind; if a servant, sometimes be deaf. - Thomas Fuller

I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

Blessed be Thou, our God and Lord of Hosts, who has not created me a woman. - Jewish Prayer

If women can be railroad workers in Russia, why can't they fly in space? - Valentina Tereshkova

My vigour, vitality, and cheek repel me. I am the kind of woman I would run from. - Nancy Astor

An ugly woman is a disease of the stomach; a handsome woman a disease of the head. - Italian Proverb

No honest work of man or woman "fails"; it feeds the sum of all human action. - Michelene Wandor

Men marry because they are tired, women because they are curious; both are disappointed. - Oscar Wilde

A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. - Robert Frost

Many a woman has a past, but I am told that she has at least a dozen, and that they all fit. - Oscar Wilde

I would venture to guess that Anon, who wrote so many poems without signing them, was often a woman. - Virginia Woolf

The clothes in themselves do not make a statement. The woman makes the statement and the dress helps. - Jean Muir

Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one. - Unknown

Ladies, if a man says he will fix it, he will. There is no need to remind him every 6 months about it. - Unknown

A woman should cleave into her husband. Right here in this house is where Edith's cleavage belongs. - Archie Bunker

I think women are foolish to pretend they are equal to men - they are far superior and always have been. - William Golding

When discovered by his wife, kissing the maid, Groucho said, "I was just whispering in her mouth". - Groucho Marx

I asked the waiter, "Is this milk fresh?" He said, "Lady, three hours ago it was grass." - Phyllis Diller

The true man wants two things: danger and play. For that reason he wants woman, as the most dangerous plaything. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

When I was in boy scouts, I slipped on the ice and hurt my ankle. A little old lady had to help me across the street. - Steven Wright

Time and trouble will tame an advanced young woman, but an advanced old woman is uncontrollable by any earthly force. - Dorothy L Sayers

Of the two lots, the woman's lot of perpetual motherhood, and the man's of perpetual babyhood, I prefer the man's. - Bernard Shaw

Every man and woman is born into the world to do something unique and distinctive, and if he or she does not do it, it will never be done. - Benjamin E. Mays

I'm finally starting to scratch the surface of what women want. And I think the answer lies somewhere between conversation and chocolate. - Mel Gibson

Like many other women, I could not understand why every man who changed a diaper has felt impelled, in recent years, to write a book about it. - Barbara Ehrenreich

I have frequently been questioned, especially by women, of how I could reconcile family life with a scientific career. Well, it has not been easy. - Marie Curie


Aussie Boat Ride

One Slice

Water Street

Hungry Tree

Dashing Name

Donut Holes

Dog Wash

Piano Dress

Hazards of Nose Picking

Mandela Perspective

I Want It All

Squid Squash

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Portrait Gallery

Boot Dog

Laundry Done

Rabbit Boost

Coke's Special Ingredients

Nanosecond Moments

Giraffic Park

Wine Karaoke

Other Door

Mistake Variations

Yoga Wine