Maid Confusion

Man has his will, but woman has her way. - Oliver Wendell Holmes Sr

I'm confused, oh wait, maybe I'm not. - Unknown

There's a great woman behind every idiot. - John Lennon

Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs. - Unknown

Once made equal to man, woman becomes his superior. - Socrates

A woman is only a woman, but a good cigar is a smoke. - Rudyard Kipling

Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place. - Billy Crystal

A woman's always younger than a man of equal years. - Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Youthful Figure: What you get when you ask a woman her age - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Irene Lorenzo, queen of the Women's Lubrication Movement. - Archie Bunker

I became a feminist as an alternative to becoming a masochist. - Sally Kempton

What praise is more valuable than the praise of an intelligent servant? - Jane Austen

High heels were invented by a woman who had been kissed on the forehead. - Christopher Morley

Every woman dreams of her own political career and her own place in life. - Raisa M. Gorbachev

Coquette: A woman without a heart, who makes a fool of a man who has no head - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I have never been lost, but I will admit to being confused for several weeks. - Daniel Boone

The great majority of neuroses in women have their origin in the marriage bed. - Sigmund Freud

A woman's best love letters are always written to the man she is betraying. - Lawrence Durrell

She's the kind of woman who climbed the ladder of success - wrong by wrong. - Mae West

Housework is what a woman does that nobody notices unless she hasn't done it. - Evan Esar

This woman was so cross-eyed. She can go to a tennis match and never move her head. - Phyllis Diller

A man has to be Joe McCarthy to be called ruthless. All a woman has to do is put you on hold. - Marlo Thomas

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. - Robert A. Heinlein

Women have a wonderful instinct about things. They can discover everything except the obvious. - Oscar Wilde

You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, and that's not saying much for you. - Groucho Marx

Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard for the night, she can still survive. - WC Fields

The fickleness of the women I love is only equalled by the infernal constancy of the women who love me. - George Bernard Shaw

I think women are foolish to pretend they are equal to men - they are far superior and always have been. - William Golding

Democracy is very different in U.S. and A. from Kazakhstan. In America, woman can vote, but horse cannot! - Borat Sagdiyev

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house. - Rod Stewart

The Honourable Lady was once an egg and people on both sides of this House greatly regret its fertilisation. - Nicholas Fairbairn

If this world is going to be reached, I am convinced that it must be done by men and women of average talent. - Dwight L. Moody

Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship. - Oscar Wilde

Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed. - Albert Einstein

Milk is the drink of babies, tea the drink of women, water the drink of beasts, and wine is the drink of the gods. - John S Blackie

Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women and Irish Whiskey. The other ten percent I'll probably waste. - Tug McGraw

All of the women on 'The Apprentice' flirted with me - consciously or unconsciously. That's to be expected. - Donald Trump

Silence is interesting. It can show confusion, indifference and sadness. But it can also show determination, confidence and caring. - Maxime Lagace

Blessed be Providence which has given to each his toy: the doll to the child, the child to the woman, the woman to the man, the man to the devil. - Victor Hugo

A woman with confidence is hypnotic. A smile is mesmerizing. Presence, openness, a sense of humor - these are all things that make a woman attractive. - Jessica Ortner