Men's Golf Rules

Always go to the bathroom when you have a chance. - King George V

Golf is an easy game, it's just hard to play. - Unknown

I write poems like some people sing in the bathroom. - Amit Bhatia

I would rather sleep in a bathroom than in another hotel. - Billy Wilder

If there is any larceny in a man, golf will bring it out. - Paul Gallico

The uglier a man's legs are, the better he plays golf. - H G Wells

There's a lot involved in going to the bathroom for women. - Leah Remini

The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf. - Will Rogers

If it weren't for golf, I'd probably be a caddie today. - George Archer

Real golfers don't cry when they line up their fourth putt. - Unknown

Golf is a game where the ball lies poorly, and the players well. - Unknown

When I die, bury me on the golf course so my husband will visit. - Unknown

I used to practice Tony speeches in my bathroom with my hairbrush. - Audra McDonald

I got a new set of golf clubs for my husband. Best trade I ever made. - Unknown

Running is an unnatural act, except from enemies and to the bathroom. - Unknown

Golf is a game in which you yell fore, shoot six, and write down five. - Paul Harvey

How has retirement affected my golf game? A lot more people beat me now. - Dwight D Eisenhower

One advantage of golf over bowling is that you never lose a bowling ball. - Don Carter

My honeymoon night was spent on the floor in the bathroom with my mother. - Ronnie Spector

In golf as in life, it's the follow-through that makes the difference. - Unknown

Show me a good loser and I'll show you a man playing golf with his boss. - Unknown

I threw the kitchen sink at him, but he went to the bathroom and got his tub. - Andy Roddick

Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf. - Gene Perret

There are two things that Jack Bauer never does. Show mercy, and go to the bathroom. - Kiefer Sutherland

Sometimes the game of golf is just too difficult to endure with a golf club in your hands. - Bobby Jones

It is almost impossible to remember how tragic a place the world is when one is playing golf. - Robert Lynd

I have a tip that can take five strokes off anyone's golf game. It's called an eraser. - Arnold Palmer

Golf combines two favorite American pastimes: taking long walks, and hitting things with a stick. - P.J. O'Rourke

With every bathroom renovation, there are three areas that I focus on: budget, function and style. - Candice Olson

I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom. - Eoin Colfer

The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf. - Bertrand Russell

I sleep with a light on in the bathroom so I can see where I'm at, because I wake up and have no clue. - Carrie Underwood

Long ago, when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today, it's called golf. - Unknown

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

One lesson you better learn if you want to be in politics is that you never go out on a golf course and beat the President. - Lyndon B. Johnson

Golf is like a love affair: If you don't take it seriously, it's no fun; if you do take it seriously, it breaks your heart. - Arthur Daley

Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. - Rita Rudner

If Obama resigns from office NOW, thereby doing a great service to the country, I will give him free lifetime golf at any one of my courses. - Donald Trump

Golf is a thinking man's game. You can have all the shots in the bag, but if you don't know what to do with them, you've got troubles. - Chi Chi Rodriguez

I don't know him very well... I've played him at golf and beat him badly both times, and I think that probably had a negative impact on him. - Donald Trump