Mommy's Diet

Mother is a verb, not a noun. - Shonda Rhimes

Necessity, who is the mother of our invention. - Plato

Me and your mother ain't no duke or duke-ess. - Archie Bunker

A rich child often sits in a poor mother's lap. - Danish Proverb

Biology is the least of what makes someone a mother. - Oprah Winfrey

The best part of him ran down his mother's legs. - Jackie Gleason

A balanced diet is a Cracker Jack cookie in each hand. - Joe-kster

Air pollution is turning Mother Nature prematurely gray. - Irv Kupcinet

Life began with waking up and loving my mother's face. - George Eliot

All that I am or ever hope to be, I owe to my angel mother. - Abraham Lincoln

I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father. - Greg Norman

A mother is a story with no beginning. That is what defines her. - Meghan O'Rourke

My mom always said normal is just a cycle on the washing machine. - Wynonna Judd

A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier

Cooking certain dishes, like roast pork, reminds me of my mother. - Maya Angelou

If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap? - George Carlin

No one else, ever, will think you're great the way your mother does. - Mary Matalin

I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks. - Totie Fields

My honeymoon night was spent on the floor in the bathroom with my mother. - Ronnie Spector

The more I go through parenting, the more I say I owe my mother an apology. - Ray Romano

Symptoms are the body's mother tongue; signs are in a foreign language. - John Brown

Your mother's down there throwing a monkey wrench into the halls of justice. - Archie Bunker

My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well. I was amazed - I never knew they worked. - Les Dawson

Enthusiasm is the mother of effort, and without it nothing great was ever achieved. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I not only think we tamper with Mother Nature, I think that Mother Nature wants us to. - Willard Gatlin

Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread and pumpkin pie. - Jim Davis

My mother-in-law has so many wrinkles, when she smiles she looks like a Venetian blind. - Les Dawson

The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness. - Honore De Balzac

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries

I was such an ugly baby. My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend. - Rodney Dangerfield

You really don't need to study how to change a diaper. As a new mom, you learn pretty darn quickly! - Ivanka Trump

Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong, even though they say it's okay in the Bible. - Homer Simpson

My wife is on a diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost any weight, but she can sure climb a tree. - Henny Youngman

No man succeeds without a good woman behind him. Wife or mother, if it is both, he is twice blessed indeed. - Godfrey Winn

I love to go to a movie, get a Diet Coke and a barrel of popcorn, and sit there with my kids and watch a film. - William Shatner

I am one of those cliff-hanging Catholics. I don't believe in God, but I do believe that Mary was his mother. - Martin Sheen

To describe my mother would be to write about a hurricane in its perfect power. Or the climbing, falling colors of a rainbow. - Maya Angelou

I think Mick Jagger would be astounded and amazed if he realized that to many people he is not a sex symbol, but a mother image. - David Bowie

Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language?
One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap. - Red Skelton

When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child. - Sophia Loren