Money Machine

Private jets cost a lot of money. - Donald Trump

Money follows passion - not the other way around. - Unknown

Insurance is for people who don't have money. - Neil Zukerman

Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo. - Groucho Marx

Money no longer talks. It just goes without saying. - George Humphrey

Fidelity bought with money can be overcome by money. - Seneca

Don't marry for money, you can borrow it cheaper. - Scottish Saying

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it. - Mark Twain

Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed. - George Burns

I can live without money, but I cannot live without love. - Judy Garland

Borrow money from pessimists - they don't expect it back. - Steven Wright

We have the best government in the world... that money can buy. - Mark Twain

If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars. - J Paul Getty

The rich would have to eat money if the poor did not provide food. - Russia Proverb

Who marries for love without money has merry nights and sorry days. - Scottish Proverb

What good is money if it can't inspire terror in your fellow man? - Homer Simpson

Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley

There's so little money in my bank account, my scenic checks show a ghetto. - Phyllis Diller

Architect: One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money. - Ambrose Bierce

Politics has become so expensive that it takes a lot of money even to be defeated. - Will Rogers

The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it back in your pocket. - Will Rogers

If you want to find money, focus on people. If you want to lose people, focus on money. - Rob Liano

Money can't buy you happiness... but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery. - Spike Milligan

Writing is the only profession where no one considers you ridiculous if you earn no money. - Jules Renard

My husband and I had our best sex during our divorce. It was like cheating on our lawyers. - Priscilla Lopez

Divorce = Rebirth: forget the past, replan your life, improve your appearance & rejuvenate! - Rossana Condoleo

Every two months, I would get an email, 'Skeleton Twins update: still don't have the money!' - Bill Hader

Money frees you from doing things you dislike.
Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy. - Groucho Marx

Advertising may be described as the science of arresting human intelligence long enough to get money from it. - Stephen Leacock

Money was never a big motivation for me, except as a way to keep score. The real excitement is playing the game. - Donald Trump

Foreign aid might be defined as a transfer of money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries. - Douglas Casey

I've never sought success in order to get fame and money; it's the talent and the passion that count in success. - Ingrid Bergman

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. - Lana Turner

I tell ya, my wife and I, we don't think alike. She donates money to the homeless, and I donate money to the topless. - Rodney Dangerfield

People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made. - Joan Rivers

In general, the art of government consists of taking as much money as possible from one party of the citizens to give to the other. - Voltaire

There are lots of things in life that money won't buy, but it's very funny - have you ever tried to buy them without money? - Ogden Nash

In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage. - Robert Anderson

The politicians in Washington are spending trillions of dollars of our money. When are Americans going to stand up and say enough is enough? - Joe Wurzelbacher

Like all parents, my husband and I just do the best we can, and hold our breath and hope we've set aside enough money for our kids' therapy. - Michelle Pfeiffer