Morning Paper

No news is good news. - Ludovic Halevy

I'm not much of a cake person. - Daniel Radcliffe

Hatchet: What a hen does to an egg - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Patience is the secret to good food. - Gail Simmons

What poison is to food, self-pity is to life. - Oliver C. Wilson

Them eggs over there are startin' to foment. - Archie Bunker

A woman is as old as she looks before breakfast. - Edgar W Howe

All new news is old news happening to new people. - Malcolm Muggeridge

Home cooking. Where many a man thinks his wife is. - Jimmy Durante

She tells enough white lies to ice a wedding cake. - Margot Asquith

If it's not chocolate, it's not breakfast. - Laini Taylor

If I have one addiction in life, it's probably food. - Liam Hemsworth

Put all your eggs in one basket, and then watch that basket. - Mark Twain

Gossip is just news running ahead of itself in a red satin dress. - Liz Smith

All the world is birthday cake, so take a piece, but not too much. - George Harrison

Bed and Breakfast: Two things the kids will never make for themselves - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Chemically speaking, chocolate really is the world's perfect food. - Michael Levine

A great empire, like a great cake, is most easily diminished at the edges. - Benjamin Franklin

I have never known any distress that an hour's reading did not relieve. - Charles de Montesquieu

There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments. - Chris Rock

I have met a lot of hardboiled eggs in my time, but you're twenty minutes. - Oscar Wilde

Hens do cackle loudest when there's nothing vital in the eggs they've laid. - Ambrose Bierce

This is a Jewish cake - they give this to a Jewish kid before he gets circumscribed. - Archie Bunker

I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake. - Mitch Hedberg

A good newspaper is never nearly good enough, but a lousy newspaper is a joy forever. - Garrison Keillor

If one cannot enjoy reading a book over and over again, there is no use in reading it at all. - Oscar Wilde

I need to tone up, as I eat a lot of fast food. I love Maccy D's, Subway and Domino's. - Amy Childs

I'm glad I don't have to hunt for my food. I don't even know where Sandwiches live. - Bill Murray

In the beginning was the Lie and the Lie was made news and dwelt among us, graceless and false. - Malcolm Muggeridge

It's not uncommon to see kids on the school bus reading books and doing homework on the bus. - Anthony Amero

If you don’t read the newspaper you are uninformed. If you do read the newspaper you are misinformed. - Mark Twain

Children today are tyrants. They contradict their parents, gobble their food, and tyrannize their teachers. - Socrates

A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked. - Bernard Meltzer

When you're stressed, eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets. Why? Because stressed spelled backwards is desserts. - Unknown

An expert is like the bottom of a double boiler. It shoots off a lot of steam, but it never really knows what's cooking. - Unknown

Why something in the public interest such as television news can be fought over, like a chain of hamburger stands, eludes me. - Jimmy Breslin

If another one of my Whole Food friends says my wife should have a home birth, I am going to punch all the soy on the planet. - Patton Oswalt

It's a piece of cake until you get to the top. You find you can't stop playing the game the way you've always played it. - Richard M Nixon

It's always darkest before the dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it. - Navjot S Sidhu

Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you. - Helen Rowland