Multi Task Dad

Nipper: Baby crab - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Newborn Baby: Fresh heir - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Friends are the family you choose. - Jennifer Aniston

The family is the nucleus of civilization. - William Durant

My dad's my best mate, and he always will be. - Cher Lloyd

My dad's Irish music was such a huge influence. - Dido Armstrong

Sticking with your family is what makes it a family. - Mitch Albom

Besmooch the family name in the eyes of the community. - Archie Bunker

I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap. - Rodney Dangerfield

Being a Dad is the greatest, except for assembling things. - Conan O'Brien

Making the family a top priority will invariably bring success. - Zig Ziglar

To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer. - Paul Ehrlich

Work is the least important thing and family is the most important. - Jerry Seinfeld

I love you like crazy, baby
'Cuz I'd go crazy without you. - Pixie Foudre

For our immediate family and relatives, Canada was a land of opportunity. - Sidney Altman

Live so you won't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip. - Will Rogers

I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the sap. - Fred Allen

If you're Irish, it doesn't matter where you go - you'll find family. - Victoria Smurfit

You don't choose your family. They are God's gift to you, as you are to them. - Desmond Tutu

We are, in the comics, the last frontier of good, wholesome family humor and entertainment. - Bill Keane

Of all the titles I've been privileged to have, 'Dad' has always been the best. - Ken Norton

You leave home to seek your fortune and, when you get it, you go home and share it with your family. - Anita Baker

I'm beginning to have morning sickness. I'm not having a baby, I'm just sick of morning. - Phyllis Diller

When you start about family, about lineage and ancestry, you are talking about every person on earth. - Alex Haley

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

You know what it's like having five kids? Imagine you're drowning. And someone hands you a baby. - Jim Gaffigan

Aw, Dad, you've done a lot of great things, but you're a very old man, and old people are useless. - Homer Simpson

Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years. - George Burns

Family, religion, friendship... these are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business. - Mr. Burns

They've finally come up with the perfect office computer. If it makes a mistake, it blames another computer. - Milton Berle

I don't think he's gonna come Edith. He just ain't got none of that, waddya call, family unconscious. - Archie Bunker

Life's golden age is when the children are too old to need babysitters and too young to borrow the family car. - Unknown

Sensitive love letters are my specialty: "Dear Baby, Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: You. P.S. I'm gay." - Homer Simpson

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet service to see who they really are. - Will Ferrell

Over the years, I learned so much from mom. She taught me about the importance of home and history and family and tradition. - Martha Stewart

Just think how far we've come in the 20th Century. The man who used to be a cog in the wheel is now a digit in the computer. - Robert Fuoss

The greatest thing in family life is to take a hint when a hint is intended - and not to take a hint when a hint isn't intended. - Robert Frost

I used to live an isolated existence, even in relationships, but now my family knows me for who I really am. Mostly, that's a good thing. - Tim Allen

Fang took the entire family out for coffee and donuts the other night. The kids enjoyed it. It was the first time they'd ever given blood. - Phyllis Diller

In a big family the first child is kind of like the first pancake. If it's not perfect, that's okay, there are a lot more coming along. - Antonin Scalia