Multi Task Dad

The computer is a moron. - Peter F Drucker

Something bad has befelt the family. - Archie Bunker

Computer viruses should count as life. - Stephen Hawking

My dad's my best mate, and he always will be. - Cher Lloyd

Man is still the most extraordinary computer of all. - John F Kennedy

Hardware: the parts of a computer that can be kicked. - Jeff Pesis

There's no such thing as fun for the whole family. - Jerry Seinfeld

People should find happiness in the little things, like family. - Amanda Bynes

To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so. - Robert Orben

Remember as far as anyone knows, we're a nice normal family. - Homer Simpson

Family means putting your arms around each other and being there. - Barbara Bush

To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer. - Paul Ehrlich

What can you do to promote world peace? Go home and love your family. - Mother Teresa

Acorn: 1. An oak in a nutshell; 2. Something painful on Dad's toe. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I phoned my Dad to tell him I had stopped smoking. He called me a quitter. - Steven Pearl

Motherhood: Feeding them as a baby and then through most of their twenties. - Unknown

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he's a baby. - Natalie Wood

Having a baby is like falling in love again, both with your husband and your child. - Tina Brown

The only time a woman wishes she were a year older is when she is expecting a baby. - Mary Marsh

My dad's pants kept creeping up on him. By 65 he was just a pair of pants and a head. - Jeff Altman

Feedback: The inevitable result when your baby doesn’t appreciate the strained carrots - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day. - Jay Leno

When I go home, I play with my baby dolls and strollers and diaper bags, and play with my sisters. - Dakota Fanning

I'm beginning to have morning sickness. I'm not having a baby, I'm just sick of morning. - Phyllis Diller

Every family story has 1,000 other stories contained within it, like an unending series of nesting dolls. - Alison Pick

I've come to learn that the best time to debate family members is when they have good in their mouths. - Kenneth Cole

This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer. - Will Rogers

The baby bat
Screamed out in fright,
'Turn on the dark,
I'm afraid of the light.' - Shel Silverstein

I use a computer. I don't know if that qualifies me as a techie, but I'm pretty good on the computer. - Leonard Nimoy

What is a family except memories? Haphazard and precious as the contents of a catchall drawer in the kitchen. - Joyce C Oates

My family didn't have a lot of money, and I'm grateful for that. Money is the longest route to happiness. - Evangeline Lilly

Man is the cheapest 150-pound nonlinear, all-purpose computer system which can be mass-produced by unskilled labor. - NASA

Her capacity for family affection is extraordinary: when her third husband died, her hair turned quite gold from grief. - Oscar Wilde

Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family. Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one. - Jane Howard

The greatest thing in family life is to take a hint when a hint is intended - and not to take a hint when a hint isn't intended. - Robert Frost

I pray for forgiveness. For help and guidance. To be a better person. For the health of my family. For the world to be a better place. - Tyson Fury

Anyone can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a dad, and that's why I call you dad, because you are so special to me. - Wade Boggs

The family should be a place where each new human being can have an early atmosphere conducive to the development of constructive creativity. - Edith Schaeffer

Fang took the entire family out for coffee and donuts the other night. The kids enjoyed it. It was the first time they'd ever given blood. - Phyllis Diller

In a big family the first child is kind of like the first pancake. If it's not perfect, that's okay, there are a lot more coming along. - Antonin Scalia