Multi Task Dad

Burn rubber, not your soul, baby. - Craig Fernandez

There's no such thing as fun for the whole family. - Jerry Seinfeld

Besmooch the family name in the eyes of the community. - Archie Bunker

I would give everything if I could only keep my family. - Johnny Depp

Family is not an important thing - it's everything. - Michael J. Fox

A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on. - Carl Sandburg

Being a Dad is the greatest, except for assembling things. - Conan O'Brien

You take more pictures of your baby than NASA does of Mars. - Unknown

I want a girl just like the girl that married dear old Dad. - Oedipus Rex

All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women. - WC Fields

I'm super laid back. I'm from Texas. I love my family. - Selena Gomez

A baby is born with a need to be loved - and never outgrows it. - Frank A. Clark

To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so. - Robert Orben

Remember as far as anyone knows, we're a nice normal family. - Homer Simpson

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. - Leo J Burke

Family means putting your arms around each other and being there. - Barbara Bush

I'm a New Wave baby, so I got very stimulated by foreign film. - Jack Nicholson

Work is the least important thing and family is the most important. - Jerry Seinfeld

I think the family was from Hungaria. (talking about Noah's Ark) - Archie Bunker

Having a family is like having a bowling alley installed in your head. - Martin Mull

I phoned my Dad to tell him I had stopped smoking. He called me a quitter. - Steven Pearl

Live so you won't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip. - Will Rogers

Southerners are so devoted to genealogy that we see a family tree under every bush. - Florence King

The firsts go away - first love, first baby, first kiss. You have to create new ones. - Sarah Jessica Parker

Fathers should be neither seen nor heard. That is the only proper basis for family life. - Oscar Wilde

Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day. - Jay Leno

When I go home, I play with my baby dolls and strollers and diaper bags, and play with my sisters. - Dakota Fanning

I'm beginning to have morning sickness. I'm not having a baby, I'm just sick of morning. - Phyllis Diller

Learning by doing, peer-to-peer teaching, and computer simulation are all part of the same equation. - Nicholas Negroponte

My family was so poor that if I hadn't been born a boy, I wouldn't of had anything to play with. - Rodney Dangerfield

Family faces are magic mirrors. Looking at people who belong to us, we see the past, present and future. - Gail L. Buckley

This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer. - Will Rogers

Aw, Dad, you've done a lot of great things, but you're a very old man, and old people are useless. - Homer Simpson

Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years. - George Burns

Man is the cheapest 150-pound nonlinear, all-purpose computer system which can be mass-produced by unskilled labor. - NASA

For my last meal, I'd want an Irish breakfast with soda bread and one of my dad's omelettes with three or four eggs. - Erin O'Connor

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. - Mitch Ratcliffe

In a big family the first child is kind of like the first pancake. If it's not perfect, that's okay, there are a lot more coming along. - Antonin Scalia

I once said to my father, when I was a boy, 'Dad we need a third political party.' He said to me, 'I'll settle for a second.' - Ralph Nader

I'll paddle board, swim in the ocean, roll in the sand, soak up the sun, eat good food, be with friends and family and go fishing with my dad. - Behati Prinsloo