Multi Task Dad

Baby lying in the bassinoot. - Archie Bunker

Friends are the family you choose. - Jennifer Aniston

Something bad has befelt the family. - Archie Bunker

A baby is an inestimable blessing and a bother. - Mark Twain

Ever notice how baby shampoo smells like spring? - Toni Sorenson

Computer logic is no substitute for human wisdom. - Unknown

Man is still the most extraordinary computer of all. - John F Kennedy

There's no such thing as fun for the whole family. - Jerry Seinfeld

Besmooch the family name in the eyes of the community. - Archie Bunker

Being a Dad is the greatest, except for assembling things. - Conan O'Brien

I want a girl just like the girl that married dear old Dad. - Oedipus Rex

I'm super laid back. I'm from Texas. I love my family. - Selena Gomez

A baby is born with a need to be loved - and never outgrows it. - Frank A. Clark

To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so. - Robert Orben

Work is the least important thing and family is the most important. - Jerry Seinfeld

Having a baby is like trying to push a grand piano through a transom. - Alice Roosevelt Longworth

What can you do to promote world peace? Go home and love your family. - Mother Teresa

Having a family is like having a bowling alley installed in your head. - Martin Mull

I love you like crazy, baby
'Cuz I'd go crazy without you. - Pixie Foudre

For our immediate family and relatives, Canada was a land of opportunity. - Sidney Altman

Baby: a loud noise at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other. - Ronald Knox

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. - Emo Philips

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he's a baby. - Natalie Wood

Fathers should be neither seen nor heard. That is the only proper basis for family life. - Oscar Wilde

He that has no fools, knaves, nor beggars in his family was begot by a flash of lightning. - Thomas Fuller

The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going. - George Carlin

There's no road map on how to raise a family: it's always an enormous negotiation. - Meryl Streep

We are, in the comics, the last frontier of good, wholesome family humor and entertainment. - Bill Keane

I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married. - Lewis Grizzard

I'm beginning to have morning sickness. I'm not having a baby, I'm just sick of morning. - Phyllis Diller

Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years. - George Burns

Family, religion, friendship... these are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business. - Mr. Burns

A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold. - Ogden Nash

Life's golden age is when the children are too old to need babysitters and too young to borrow the family car. - Unknown

Man is the cheapest 150-pound nonlinear, all-purpose computer system which can be mass-produced by unskilled labor. - NASA

The family, that dear octopus from whose tentacles we never quite escape, nor in our innermost hearts never quite wish to. - Dodie Smith

My Dad once said, "you wouldn't worry so much about what people thought of you if you knew how seldom they did." - Dr. Phil McGraw

In a big family the first child is kind of like the first pancake. If it's not perfect, that's okay, there are a lot more coming along. - Antonin Scalia

I once said to my father, when I was a boy, 'Dad we need a third political party.' He said to me, 'I'll settle for a second.' - Ralph Nader

I'll paddle board, swim in the ocean, roll in the sand, soak up the sun, eat good food, be with friends and family and go fishing with my dad. - Behati Prinsloo