Multi Task Dad

Computer viruses should count as life. - Stephen Hawking

My dad was the funniest guy I ever knew. - Russell Peters

Immunity to boredom gives the computer an edge. - Alan Lakein

Man is still the most extraordinary computer of all. - John F Kennedy

Sticking with your family is what makes it a family. - Mitch Albom

I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage. - Erma Bombeck

You take more pictures of your baby than NASA does of Mars. - Unknown

Baby I paint the sky blue
My greatest creation was you. - Jay-Z

All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women. - WC Fields

There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home. - Ken Olson

Family means putting your arms around each other and being there. - Barbara Bush

To the world you are a mother, but to your family you are the world. - Unknown

What can you do to promote world peace? Go home and love your family. - Mother Teresa

Family Tree: The only tree whose branches seek the shelter of its roots - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Clients don't care about the labor pains; they want to see the baby. - Tim Williams

I come from an Irish Catholic family, and hell-raising is part of the DNA. - Brian Dennehy

I phoned my Dad to tell him I had stopped smoking. He called me a quitter. - Steven Pearl

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he is a baby. - Natalie Wood

As a child, my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it. - Buddy Hackett

A daughter needs a dad to be the standard against which she will judge all men. - Gregory E Lang

Southerners are so devoted to genealogy that we see a family tree under every bush. - Florence King

Keyboard Plaque: The disgusting buildup of dirt and crud found on computer keyboards - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push. - Rodney Dangerfield

The family you came from isn't as important as the family you're going to have. - Ring Lardner

There's no road map on how to raise a family: it's always an enormous negotiation. - Meryl Streep

We are, in the comics, the last frontier of good, wholesome family humor and entertainment. - Bill Keane

Feedback: The inevitable result when your baby doesn’t appreciate the strained carrots - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf. - Bertrand Russell

The baby bat
Screamed out in fright,
'Turn on the dark,
I'm afraid of the light.' - Shel Silverstein

Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years. - George Burns

I never used to like babies. I'd always thought if a baby were more like a chimpanzee, I'd have one. - Candice Bergen

Family, religion, friendship... these are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business. - Mr. Burns

The family, that dear octopus from whose tentacles we never quite escape, nor in our innermost hearts never quite wish to. - Dodie Smith

Just think how far we've come in the 20th Century. The man who used to be a cog in the wheel is now a digit in the computer. - Robert Fuoss

No one ever wants to see his or her name linked to anything bad. Conscience is like a baby. It has to go to sleep before you can. - Harvey Mackay

Anyone can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a dad, and that's why I call you dad, because you are so special to me. - Wade Boggs

Boat Anchor: 1. Thrown out when you need it, and taken in when you don't; 2. An old computer so useless that it needs to go to sea. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Fang took the entire family out for coffee and donuts the other night. The kids enjoyed it. It was the first time they'd ever given blood. - Phyllis Diller

Making duplicate copies and computer printouts of things no one wanted even one of in the first place is giving America a new sense of purpose. - Andy Rooney

I'll paddle board, swim in the ocean, roll in the sand, soak up the sun, eat good food, be with friends and family and go fishing with my dad. - Behati Prinsloo