Multi Task Dad

Nipper: Baby crab - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The computer is a moron. - Peter F Drucker

Asthma: What you do if Dad says no - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Something bad has befelt the family. - Archie Bunker

My family tree could use some pruning. - Unknown

My dad was the funniest guy I ever knew. - Russell Peters

Computer logic is no substitute for human wisdom. - Unknown

Leading your family is a lot tougher than basketball. - Giannis Antetokounmpo

Family is not an important thing - it's everything. - Michael J. Fox

People should find happiness in the little things, like family. - Amanda Bynes

To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so. - Robert Orben

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. - Leo J Burke

Other things may change us, but we start and end with the family. - Anthony Brandt

To the world you are a mother, but to your family you are the world. - Unknown

Ma-ma does everything for the baby, who responds by saying Da-da first. - Mignon McLaughlin

Clients don't care about the labor pains; they want to see the baby. - Tim Williams

For our immediate family and relatives, Canada was a land of opportunity. - Sidney Altman

I phoned my Dad to tell him I had stopped smoking. He called me a quitter. - Steven Pearl

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. - Emo Philips

If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance. - George Bernard Shaw

Live so you won't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip. - Will Rogers

As a child, my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it. - Buddy Hackett

Having a baby is like falling in love again, both with your husband and your child. - Tina Brown

The only time a woman wishes she were a year older is when she is expecting a baby. - Mary Marsh

Southerners are so devoted to genealogy that we see a family tree under every bush. - Florence King

Please leave my computer alone. The only cookies I want to get are the ones I can eat. - Heather Wolf

He that has no fools, knaves, nor beggars in his family was begot by a flash of lightning. - Thomas Fuller

There's a lot of baggage that comes along with our family, but it's Louis Vuitton baggage. - Kim Kardashian

I grew up in an Irish Catholic family, and I think they force you to watch every James Cagney movie. - Jimmy Fallon

When you start about family, about lineage and ancestry, you are talking about every person on earth. - Alex Haley

The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf. - Bertrand Russell

The greatest tribute a boy can give to his father is to say, 'When I grow up, I want to be just like my Dad.' - Billy Graham

Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family. Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one. - Jane Howard

It's a family that's loaded with grudges and passion. We come from a long line of robbers and highwaymen in Italy. - Nicolas Cage

Lookin' back all I can say about all the things he did for me is I hope I'm at least half the dad that he didn't have to be. - Brad Paisley

The average family spends 30 hours in front of a television, and they say they don't have the time to have a balanced, integrated life. - Stephen Covey

Fang took the entire family out for coffee and donuts the other night. The kids enjoyed it. It was the first time they'd ever given blood. - Phyllis Diller

With the steady disintegration of the family in modern society over the last century, the role of the school in bridging the gap has become vital. - Stephen Covey

I have frequently been questioned, especially by women, of how I could reconcile family life with a scientific career. Well, it has not been easy. - Marie Curie

Being a dad isn't just about eating a huge bag of gummy bears as your wife gives birth. It means being comfortable with the word 'hero.' - Ryan Reynolds