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Mute Button

How to turn down the noise level

Mute Button thanks to Keith Blake

Directions now added on baby pacifiers

QuotaBills
Birth patrol pills. - Archie Bunker

A quiet fool is half a sage. - Yiddish Proverb

Quiet people have the loudest minds. - Stephen King

A bambiraptor is a savage baby dear. - Alan Davies

A quiet conscience sleeps in thunder. - English Proverb

Nice quiet, waddya call, stablishment. - Archie Bunker

What is a home without children? Quiet. - Henny Youngman

Expert: a man who makes his mistakes quietly. - Unknown

Ever notice how baby shampoo smells like spring? - Toni Sorenson

The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. - Henry David Thoreau

Man's main task in life is to give birth to himself. - Erich Fromm

A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on. - Carl Sandburg

It is difficult to keep quiet if you have nothing to do. - Arthur Schopenhauer

After your death, you will be what you were before your birth. - Arthur Schopenhauer

A baby is born with a need to be loved - and never outgrows it. - Frank A. Clark

One year they wanted to make me poster boy - for birth control. - Rodney Dangerfield

There is no cure for birth and death, save to enjoy the interval. - George Santayana

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. - Leo J Burke

It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant. - Richard J. Ferris

It's the steady, quiet, plodding ones who win in the lifelong race. - Robert W Service

Insomnia: a contagious disease often transmitted from babies to parents. - Shannon Fife

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he's a baby. - Natalie Wood

The most effective form of birth control I know is spending the day with my kids. - Jill Bensley

A committee is a cul-de-sac down which ideas are lured and then quietly strangled. - Barnett Cocks

Having a baby is like falling in love again, both with your husband and your child. - Tina Brown

I'm beginning to have morning sickness. I'm not having a baby, I'm just sick of morning. - Phyllis Diller

I was such an ugly baby. My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend. - Rodney Dangerfield

You know what it's like having five kids? Imagine you're drowning. And someone hands you a baby. - Jim Gaffigan

I never used to like babies. I'd always thought if a baby were more like a chimpanzee, I'd have one. - Candice Bergen

A wise man will never tell his wife to keep quiet. He will tell her she looks beautiful with her mouth closed. - Unknown

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped. - Sam Levenson

Menopause: because nature decided that pregnancy, labor, delivery, breastfeeding, and stretch marks wasn't enough. - Unknown

It was so quiet, a reservation kind of quiet, where you can hear somebody drinking whiskey on the rocks three miles away. - Sherman Alexie

The circumstances of one's birth are irrelevant. It is what you do with the gift of life that determines who you are. - Mewtwo

If another one of my Whole Food friends says my wife should have a home birth, I am going to punch all the soy on the planet. - Patton Oswalt

It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to squeeze in eight hours of TV a day. - Homer Simpson

If you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers! - Homer Simpson

I think, at a child's birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift should be curiosity. - Eleanor Roosevelt

Our babies are like penguins; penguin babies can't exist unless more than one person is taking care of them. They just can't keep going. - Alison Gopnik


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