#1 humor site on the 'net

New Generation Priorities

Mommy - this app doesn't tell me when to let go!

New Generation Priorities thanks to Jim Serritella

Computer basics: learning to use the iPotty

QuotaBills
Computer viruses should count as life. - Stephen Hawking

Lawyers, I suppose, were children once. - Charles Lamb

Children make you want to start life over. - Muhammad Ali

It's never too late for a happy childhood. - Gloria Steinem

I love children if they're cooked properly. - WC Fields

Anyone who hates children and dogs can't be all bad. - WC Fields

A child can ask questions that a wise man cannot answer. - Unknown

Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it. - Harold Hulbert

Our greatest natural resource is the minds of our children. - Walt Disney

Children should neither be seen nor heard from - ever again. - WC Fields

When inspiration does not come to me, I go halfway to meet it. - Sigmund Freud

A child seldom needs a good talking to as a good listening to. - Robert Brault

The important things are children, honesty, integrity and faith. - Andy Williams

Amateurs wait for inspiration. The real pros get up and go to work. - Harvey Mackay

When I was a child what I wanted to be when I grew up was an invalid. - Quentin Crisp

Experience is the child of thought, and thought is the child of action. - Benjamin Disraeli

If you want your children to listen, try talking softly to someone else. - Ann Landers

Every child comes with the message that God is not yet discouraged of man. - Rabindranath Tagore

Oh my God! Space aliens! Don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them! - Homer Simpson

The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother. - Henry Ward Beecher

Inspiration responds to our attentiveness in various and sometimes unexpected ways. - Wayne W Dyer

Times are bad. Children no longer obey their parents, and everyone is writing a book. - Cicero

My wife and I have a tradition of popcorn and videos with our kids on Friday evenings. - Ozwald Boateng

Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home. - Phyllis Diller

If we would listen to our kids, we'd discover that they are largely self-explanatory. - Robert Brault

Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky. - Fran Lebowitz

Every time a child is born it brings with it the hope that God is not yet disappointed in man. - Rabindranath Tagore

Success is the good fortune that comes from aspiration, desperation, perspiration and inspiration. - Evan Esar

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shovelling the walk before it stops snowing. - Phyllis Diller

I have drawn inspiration from the Marine Corps, the Jewish struggle in Palestine and Israel, and the Irish. - Leon Uris

The best thing I've ever done? Well, I've created four beautiful children. You mean, other than that? - Donald Trump

Every video I'm in, every magazine cover, they stretch you, they make you perfect. It's not real life. - Lady Gaga

Enthusiasm is the inspiration of everything great. Without it no man is to be feared, and with it none despised. - Christian Nevell Bovee

The secret of genius is to carry the spirit of the child into old age, which means never losing your enthusiasm. - Aldous Huxley

Children raced outside. She surveyed their trail - traces of sticky fingerprints across everything, like wee poems. - Dr. SunWolf

No man should bring children into the world who is unwilling to persevere to the end in their nature and education. - Plato

I have found the best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want and then advise them to do it. - Harry S Truman

One man alone can be pretty dumb sometimes, but for real bona fide stupidity there ain't nothing can beat teamwork. - Mark Twain

You can be childlike without being childish. A child always wants to have fun. Ask yourself, 'Am I having fun?' - Christopher Meloni

When I know that, if I have no inspiration whatsoever, when I come and I just feel empty, I have nothing, I know that I can still play the scene. - Christopher Walken


Horse Mask

Chocolate Filling

Mea Culpa Road

Pool Painters

Cocoon Stage

Eye For Coffee

Like No Udder

Egyptian Pyramid Scheme

Hammock Kayak

CARnivore

Alligator Hallucinogens

Step Lover

Iron Horse Carriage

Anon-y-moose

Kids Meal

Close Today

How Pitbulls Really Fight

Grillbillies

Captain Literate

Fossilized Sid

Plenty Of Fish In The Sea

Husband Colors

Mac Supports Windows

Me First!