#1 humor site on the 'net

Nice Parking!

When not to park your car in the upright position

Nice Parking! thanks to Wayne Nowazek

And I was so close to the Park & Ride...

QuotaBills
Parking is such street sorrow. - Herb Caen

Never insult anyone by accident. - Robert A. Heinlein

Safety doesn't happen by accident. - Unknown

I used to be Snow White, but I drifted. - Mae West

Where does the white go when the snow melts? - Hugh Kieffer

Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident. - Mark Twain

Care shouldn't start in the emergency room. - James Douglas

Never invest emergency savings in the stock market. - Suze Orman

Stardom isn't a profession, it's an accident. - Lauren Bacall

So many catastrophes in love are only accidents of egotism. - Hector Bianciotti

Giving never happens by accident. It's always intentional. - Amy Grant

So comes snow after fire, and even dragons have their endings. - JRR Tolkien

Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs. - Ambrose Bierce

The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces. - Will Rogers

Happiness is an accident of nature, a beautiful and flawless aberration. - Pat Conroy

Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency. - Natalie Goldberg

She walked across the ballroom as if she were trudging through deep snow. - Noel Coward

I aimed at the public's heart and by accident I hit it in the stomach. - Upton Sinclair

Off-Campus Parking: Ample extra parking usually found in an adjoining state - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

There is nothing so strong or safe in an emergency of life as the simple truth. - Charles Dickens

Beautiful young people are accidents of nature, but beautiful old people are works of art. - Eleanor Roosevelt

A real patriot is the fellow who gets a parking ticket and rejoices that the system works. - Bill Vaughan

To be born free is an accident; to live free a responsibility; to die free is an obligation. - Mrs. Hubbard Davis

If you're not paying for it through the health plan, you pay for it in the emergency room. - David Lehman

There's one good thing about snow: it makes your lawn look as nice as your neighbor's. - Clyde Moore

The ideal man bears the accidents of life with dignity and grace, making the best of circumstances. - Aristotle

Just 'cause there's snow in the basement don't mean there ain't no fire in the roof! - Archie Bunker

One of the tests of leadership is the ability to recognize a problem before it becomes an emergency. - Arnold H. Glasow

The greatest pleasure I know is to do a good action by stealth, and to have it found out by accident. - Charles Lamb

My husband is so good at home repairs that they have a special VIP area for him in the emergency room. - Unknown

Advice is like snow, the softer it falls the longer it dwells upon, and the deeper it sinks into the mind. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Education can get you the only thing that really matters in today's world - an assigned parking space. - Gene Perret

Faith is a fine invention
When Gentlemen can see -
But Microscopes are prudent
In an Emergency. - Emily Dickinson

The Eskimos had fifty-two names for snow because it was important to them: there ought to be as many for love. - Margaret Atwood

Courage is not the towering oak that sees storms come and go; it is the fragile blossom that opens in the snow. - Alice M Swaim

I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case of national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting. - Ronald Reagan

In most homes, the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space. - Evan Esar

Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket, or a holding pattern over Philadelphia. - Judith Viorst

Now that women are jockeys, baseball umpires, atomic scientists, and business executives, maybe someday they can master parallel parking. - Bill Vaughan

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright


Shopping-ish

Head Twins

Pickup Park

Diet Hard

Go Nowhere Bike

Master Reference Binder

Do You See A Bird or a Girl?

Car Moochanic

Wife's Small Mistake

Redneck TP

Backwards Clock

Redneck House Move

New World Record Holder

World's Hardest Golf Shot

Safe Bike

Donut Hole History

Church Flight

Jews: The Revenge

Israel Security

Breakfast In Bed

Antler Field

Redneck Stove Burner

Texas Earrings

A Man's Life