#1 humor site on the 'net

Optimistic Goose

Crying fowl on a Canadian Prairie lake

Optimistic Goose thanks to Keith Blake

Making do with the latest shower

QuotaBills
I want to paint the way a bird sings. - Claude Monet

Goose Bumps: To keep geese from speeding - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Kettle Drum: What musicians boil water in - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Thirst was made for water; inquiry for truth. - C S Lewis

You never miss the water till the well has run dry. - Irish Proverb

Intelligence without ambition is a bird without wings. - Salvador Dali

Ego: the fallacy whereby a goose thinks he's a swan. - Oscar Levant

Don't bargain for fish which are still in the water. - India Proverb

I believe in getting into hot water; it keeps you clean. - G K Chesterton

I never wanted to weigh more heavily on a man than a bird. - Coco Chanel

The early bird catches the worm, eats more, and dies sooner. - Czech Proverb

Egg: 1. A day's work for a hen; 2. A bird's hometown. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The cure for anything is salt water - sweat, tears or the sea. - Isak Dinesen

If one cannot catch the bird of paradise, better take a wet hen. - Nikita Krushchev

Water, air, and cleanliness are the chief articles in my pharmacy. - Napoleon Bonaparte

The bird of paradise alights only upon the hand that does not grasp. - John Berry

I bought some powdered water, but I don't know what to add to it. - Steven Wright

Keep a green tree in your heart and perhaps a singing bird will come. - Chinese Proverb

Somewhere, behind space and time,
Is wetter water, slimier slime. - Rupert Brooke

I don't believe in God because I don't believe in Mother Goose. - Clarence Darrow

Gardening requires lots of water, most of it in the form of perspiration. - Lou Erickson

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin

Though what bird in the best of circumstances does not look a little stricken? - Lorrie Moore

I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it. - Steven Wright

The bird, the bee, the running child are all the same to the sliding glass door. - Demetri Martin

I know of only one bird (the parrot) that talks; and it can't fly very high. - Wilbur Wright

Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken-winged bird that cannot fly. - Lanston Hughes

I am no bird; and no net ensnares me; I am a free human being with an independent will. - Charlotte Bronte

We should be as water, which is lower than all things yet stronger even than the rocks. - Sioux Proverb

Before enlightenment: chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment: chop wood, carry water. - Zen Buddhist Saying

Most whale photos you see show whales in this beautiful blue water - it's almost like space. - Brian Skerry

We could not understand that there was anything about a bird that could not be built on a larger scale. - Orville Wright

Like the old adverb, "you can lead a gift horse to the water but ya can't look in his mouth." - Archie Bunker

Be ruthless about your calendar - stick to it, hell or high water but create space for unstructured time as well. - Arjun Arora

Menopause is thicker than water. When we talk and laugh about it, we learn and relax. It's a life transition, not a disease. - Unknown

Memory is a net: one finds it full of fish when he takes it from the brook, but a dozen miles of water have run through it without sticking. - Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.

Take two turkeys, one goose, four cabbages, but no duck, and mix them together. After one taste, you'll duck soup for the rest of your life. - Groucho Marx

If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read: "President Can't Swim." - Lyndon B. Johnson

One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler

Be like the bird that, passing on her flight awhile on boughs too slight, feels them give way beneath her, and yet sings, knowing that she hath wings. - Victor Hugo


Jet Nozzles

Cord Chewing

Surreal Cubist

Painting The Center Line

Names of the Colours

At Home Grave

Boatload Interception

Shadow Seats

Alice In Hulaland

French Army Knife

Putting Your Foot Down

Chicken Rider

ManHole

Hurricane Irene

Day At The Beach

Luxury Bungalows

Baby Brew

Kids Klub

Sheep Dog Distancing

Candy Hairess

Haircut For Staff Meetings

Bag Hang-Up

Dog Spa

Pacman Skeleton