#1 humor site on the 'net

Optimistic Goose

Crying fowl on a Canadian Prairie lake

Optimistic Goose thanks to Keith Blake

Making do with the latest shower

QuotaBills
A married man is a caged bird. - Spanish Proverb

Hard Water: The scientific name for ice - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Water that does not move is always shallow. - Sami Proverb

Bread and water can so easily be toast and tea. - Janet Clarkson

Water, taken in moderation, cannot hurt anybody. - Mark Twain

Sometimes I drink water just to surprise my liver. - WC Fields

A mixture of brandy and water spoils two good things. - Charles Lamb

We never know the worth of water till the well is dry. - English Proverb

The scalded dog fears hot water, and afterwards, cold. - Italian Proverb

A fox should not be on the jury at a goose's trial. - Thomas Fuller

Ego: the fallacy whereby a goose thinks he's a swan. - Oscar Levant

I believe in getting into hot water; it keeps you clean. - G K Chesterton

The bird is powered by its own life and by its motivation. - Abdul Kalam

I never wanted to weigh more heavily on a man than a bird. - Coco Chanel

Ice Water? Get some Onions - that'll make your eyes water! - Groucho Marx

Say anything that you like about me except that I drink water. - WC Fields

I moved to Florida because you don't have to shovel water. - James Randi

The cure for anything is salt water - sweat, tears or the sea. - Isak Dinesen

I ran a 100-mile marathon, and I was powered by coconut water. - Jesse Itzler

If one cannot catch the bird of paradise, better take a wet hen. - Nikita Krushchev

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. - English Proverb

Don't think there are no crocodiles because the water is calm. - Malayan Proverb

The bird of paradise alights only upon the hand that does not grasp. - John Berry

I bought some powdered water, but I don't know what to add to it. - Steven Wright

Somewhere, behind space and time,
Is wetter water, slimier slime. - Rupert Brooke

A goose flies by a chart the Royal Geographical Society could not improve. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

I finally found out how priests get holy water. They boil the hell out of it. - Joan Rivers

You can lead a horse to water but I'd rather ride it to the liquor store. - Wayne Nowazek

Warm Water Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

We should be as water, which is lower than all things yet stronger even than the rocks. - Sioux Proverb

Before enlightenment: chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment: chop wood, carry water. - Zen Buddhist Saying

When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water. - Unknown

I keep looking for one more teacher, only to find that fish learn from the water and birds learn from the sky. - Mark Nepo

Gold and diamonds are nice, but clean, crisp, controlled water has long been the preeminent hallmark of the rich. - Anthony Doerr

You can't be suspicious of a tree, or accuse a bird or a squirrel of subversion or challenge the ideology of a violet. - Hal Borland

You are Mr. Owl. I am Ms. Hummingbird. We may come from different species but as long as you're a bird, I'm a bird too. - Glad Munaiseche

A male frigate bird blows up a wild red pouch on his neck. He can keep it puffed up for hours. It is his way of impressing the girls. - Julie Murphy

Memory is a net: one finds it full of fish when he takes it from the brook, but a dozen miles of water have run through it without sticking. - Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.

Take two turkeys, one goose, four cabbages, but no duck, and mix them together. After one taste, you'll duck soup for the rest of your life. - Groucho Marx

Advice from a tree:
- Stand tall and proud
- Go out on a limb
- Remember your roots
- Drink plenty of water
- Enjoy the view - Unknown


Sister DNA

Join The Resistance

Rabbi Road

Vatican Chess

Pentecost Sunday

Nun Chairs - Great Looking Legs

Organ Donor

Moldy Bible

Gyprock Prayer

Barn Art

Submarine Tea

NAACP Cover Up

Quad Shot

Princess Parking

Restaurant Wait-er

How Much Is That Doggie In The Window?

Butterfly Lens

Pike Mouth Nest

Improvise, Adapt, Overcome

Flower Lips

Bird Walker

Never Go Full Retard

Multi-Pilot Jet

Teethbrushes