Paper Scissors Cop

All people look better under arrest. - John Waters

Crime does not pay as well as politics. - Alfred E. Newman

Well, all I know is what I read in the papers. - Will Rogers

If they give you ruled paper, write the other way. - Juan Ramon Jimenez

Is it a bigger crime to rob a bank or to open one? - Ted Allan

All mothers have intuition. The great ones have radar. - Cathy Guisewite

I don't own a camera, so I travel with a police sketch artist. - George Carlin

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

My stockbroker asked me something important today: paper or plastic? - Jay Leno

I can forget and you can forget, but a piece of paper never forgets. - Unknown

Most of the time he sounds like he has a mouth full of toilet paper. - Rex Reed

The world's second-most crime is boredom; the first is being a bore. - Cecil Beaton

If life gives you a bowl of lemons, go find an annoying guy with paper cuts. - Unknown

A blank piece of paper is God's way of telling us how hard it is to be God. - Sidney Sheldon

Outside of the killings, D.C. has one of the lowest crime rates in the country. - Marion Barry

If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? - George Carlin

It's a proven fact that capital punishment is a well-known detergent to crime. - Archie Bunker

Let's commit the perfect crime. I'll steal your heart, and you steal mine. - Meryl Streep

Too often I find that the volume of paper expands to fill the available briefcases. - Jerry Brown

I took a physical for some life insurance. All they would give me was fire and theft. - Milton Berle

My aim is to put down on paper what I see and what I feel in the best and simplest way. - Ernest Hemingway

France is a country where the money falls apart but you can't tear the toilet paper. - Billy Wilder

Blind commitment to a theory is not an intellectual virtue: it is an intellectual crime. - Imre Lakatos

I'm the only woman who can walk in Central Park at night... and reduce the crime rate. - Phyllis Diller

If crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? - George Carlin

There's only two people in your life you should lie to... the police and your girlfriend. - Jack Nicholson

Mathematics is a game played according to certain simple rules with meaningless marks on paper. - David Hilbert

Many of our fears are tissue-paper-thin, and a single courageous step would carry us clear through them. - Brendan Francis

Women are like the police. They could have all the evidence in the world, but they still want the confession. - Chris Rock

In school, every period ends with a bell. Every sentence ends with a period. Every crime ends with a sentence. - Steven Wright

The crime problem in New York is getting really serious. The other day the Statue of Liberty had both hands up. - Jay Leno

Writing is easy: All you do is sit staring at a blank piece of paper until drops of blood form on your forehead. - Gene Fowler

Only government can take perfectly good paper, cover it with perfectly good ink and make the combination worthless. - Milton Friedman

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

I'd learned some things. I knew you weren't supposed to hold a good wine at the top - the paper bag falls off. - Pat Paulsen

When I was a kid, one cop could have taken care of the whole neighborhood. Now, one cop wouldn't be safe in the neighborhood. - Mike Royko

There is a blessed necessity by which the interest of men is always driving them to the right, and making all crime mean and ugly. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Papers say: 'Congress is deadlocked and can't act.' I think that is the greatest blessing that could befall this country. - Will Rogers

It is often wonderful how putting down on paper a clear statement of a case helps one to see, not perhaps the way out, but the way in. - Arthur Christopher Benson

I'm readin' in the paper where the CIA is dopin' people up. Maybe somebody injected some of that LSD in the lady's cottage cheese. - Archie Bunker