#1 humor site on the 'net

Paper Scissors Cop

New approach to fighting speeding tickets

Paper Scissors Cop thanks to Barry McCartney

Playing Russian Roulette with a policeman

QuotaBills
The crime of loving is forgetting. - Maurice Chevalier

Police do not belong in war zones. - Daniel K Moran

Not failure, but low aim, is crime. - J. R. Lowell

All people look better under arrest. - John Waters

Crime does not pay as well as politics. - Alfred E. Newman

Suspicion often creates what it suspects. - C S Lewis

Poverty is the parent of revolution and crime. - Aristotle

Is it a bigger crime to rob a bank or to open one? - Ted Allan

Heartbreak is a loss. Divorce is a piece of paper. - Taylor J Reid

All mothers have intuition. The great ones have radar. - Cathy Guisewite

One ad is worth more to a paper than forty editorials. - Will Rogers

What the world really needs is more love and less paper work. - Pearl Bailey

Police Station: A place where sleeping is all right in a pinch - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Rape is the only crime in which the victim becomes the accused. - Freda Adler

A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on. - Samuel Goldwyn

My stockbroker asked me something important today: paper or plastic? - Jay Leno

I can forget and you can forget, but a piece of paper never forgets. - Unknown

Most of the time he sounds like he has a mouth full of toilet paper. - Rex Reed

When a police officer tells you to stay in the car, you stay in the car. - Reese Witherspoon

If life gives you a bowl of lemons, go find an annoying guy with paper cuts. - Unknown

I wanted a man who wouldn't stray so I'm dating a guy on house arrest. - Kim Bove

The police are not here to create disorder, they;re here to preserve disorder. - Richard J Daley

A blank piece of paper is God's way of telling us how hard it is to be God. - Sidney Sheldon

Outside of the killings, D.C. has one of the lowest crime rates in the country. - Marion Barry

If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? - George Carlin

Too often I find that the volume of paper expands to fill the available briefcases. - Jerry Brown

I think I'm right-brained, incapable of managing my way out of a brown paper bag. - Jeremy Grantham

Growing old is like being increasingly penalized for a crime you haven't committed. - Anthony Powell

I'm the only woman who can walk in Central Park at night... and reduce the crime rate. - Phyllis Diller

A man has reached middle age when he is warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police. - Unknown

A police force, wherever they are, is made up of amazing people, and I respect them a great deal. - Nancy McKeon

Police officers may drive black and white cars, however what goes on in their job is a lot of gray. - Arik Matson

Women are like the police. They could have all the evidence in the world, but they still want the confession. - Chris Rock

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

At the end of a marathon, it's going to hurt whether you're speeding up or slowing down. You may as well push. - Summer Sanders

When I was a kid, one cop could have taken care of the whole neighborhood. Now, one cop wouldn't be safe in the neighborhood. - Mike Royko

There is a blessed necessity by which the interest of men is always driving them to the right, and making all crime mean and ugly. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

It is often wonderful how putting down on paper a clear statement of a case helps one to see, not perhaps the way out, but the way in. - Arthur Christopher Benson

I'm readin' in the paper where the CIA is dopin' people up. Maybe somebody injected some of that LSD in the lady's cottage cheese. - Archie Bunker

One of the fondest expressions around is that we can't be the world's policeman. But guess who gets called when suddenly someone needs a cop. - Colin Powell


Bacon Wrapped Onion Rings

T-Rex Shadow

Camel Parking

Cheat of the Year

Born To Be Wild

Why I Wear 2 Masks

Welfare State

Redneck Wedding Cake

Blonde Gears

Party Direction Sign

House 'Broke'rage

'Piece of Cake' Resignation Letter

Bee Safe

Catfish Noodling

I'm A Believer

Sewing Sculpture

Greatest Italian Riders

Batman Recession

Sinus Remedy - How To Clear Out Your Nostrils

About Grandparents

Split Personality Ad

Happy Bithday

Back 2 School Savings

Redneck Wine Dispenser