QuotaBillsParking is such street sorrow. - Herb Caen
Khaki: A thing for starting a car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Broom parking only; all others will be toad. - Unknown
Didn't he take the exercise tax off cars? - Archie Bunker
Feminism is a wonderful idea until the car goes wrong. - Nicola Zweig
If you do a job too well, you'll get stuck with it. - Unknown
Diamonds are only lumps of coal that stuck to their jobs. - Malcolm Forbes
Auto racing began 5 minutes after the second car was built. - Henry Ford
Germany is a fortress, but it is a fortress without a roof. - Franklin D Roosevelt
Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck
You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck
Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. - Budd Schulberg
The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore
We all thought we'd have flying cars by now, but we don't. - Dana Brunetti
A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car. - Carrie Snow
The harpsichord sounds like two skeletons copulating on a corrugated roof. - Thomas Beecham
I'm so ugly I stuck my head out the window and got arrested for mooning. - Rodney Dangerfield
Santanism: The belief that when you die, your soul gets stuck in the chimney - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical. - Murray Walker
Drive-in banks were established so most of the cars today could see their real owners. - E. Joseph Crossman
I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push. - Rodney Dangerfield
Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke
The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker
Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck. - George Carlin
Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck
There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino
Education can get you the only thing that really matters in today's world - an assigned parking space. - Gene Perret
When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. - Tom Hodgkinson
Many years ago I resolved never to bother with New Year's resolutions, and I've stuck with it ever since. - Dave Beard
Poverty: 1. A state of mind sometimes induced by a neighbour's new car; 2. One thing that money can't buy. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Do you think you're safe in a car with your seatbelt on? Dream on. My friend thought so. Now she's pregnant. - Anke Engelke
The actual building of roads devoted to motor cars is not for the near future, in spite of many rumors to that effect. - Harper's Weekly
A relationship without trust is like a car without gas. You can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere. - Jay Shetty
God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny. - Garrison Keillor
I'm not a car guy. The subway gets me where I need to go efficiently and cheaply, and I don't worry about traffic. - Joe Scarborough
Two may talk together under the same roof for many years, yet never really meet; and two others at first speech are old friends. - Mary Catherwood
It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor
A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt
Now that women are jockeys, baseball umpires, atomic scientists, and business executives, maybe someday they can master parallel parking. - Bill Vaughan
When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright