Parking Forever

Fjord: Norwegian car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Afford: Popular type of car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Camelot: Parking area for humped animals - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A roof stretching over the Atlantic Ocean. - Ernest Bevin

Didn't he take the exercise tax off cars? - Archie Bunker

Parking Lot Attendant: Professional fender bender - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If you do a job too well, you'll get stuck with it. - Unknown

Why you stuck-up, half-witted, scruffy-looking nerf-herder! - Princess Leia

You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck

I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

Off-Campus Parking: Ample extra parking usually found in an adjoining state - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I'm so ugly I stuck my head out the window and got arrested for mooning. - Rodney Dangerfield

A private railroad car is not an acquired taste. One takes to it immediately. - Eleanor R. Belmont

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

You don't have to carry a designer bag that costs more than a car to look cool. - Kesha

A real patriot is the fellow who gets a parking ticket and rejoices that the system works. - Bill Vaughan

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

Change is painful, but nothing is as painful as staying stuck somewhere you don't belong. - Mandy Hale

Police officers may drive black and white cars, however what goes on in their job is a lot of gray. - Arik Matson

Just 'cause there's snow in the basement don't mean there ain't no fire in the roof! - Archie Bunker

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving. - Steven Wright

When Henry Ford made cheap, reliable cars people said, 'Nah, what's wrong with a horse?' - Elon Musk

If I weren't skateboarding, I'd love to race cars. I like anything that's fast and active. - Ryan Sheckler

Too often, people get stuck in a state of over-thinking, the result is that they never reach a decision. - Steve Backley

Education can get you the only thing that really matters in today's world - an assigned parking space. - Gene Perret

Do you think you're safe in a car with your seatbelt on? Dream on. My friend thought so. Now she's pregnant. - Anke Engelke

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

The actual building of roads devoted to motor cars is not for the near future, in spite of many rumors to that effect. - Harper's Weekly

If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 2,000 MPG. - Bill Gates

A tom cat hijacked a plane, stuck a pistol into the pilot's ribs and demanded, "Take me to the Canaries." - Bob Monkhouse

I'm not a car guy. The subway gets me where I need to go efficiently and cheaply, and I don't worry about traffic. - Joe Scarborough

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin

Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett

My imagination persisted in sticking horrors into the dark- so I stuck my imagination into the dark instead, and let it look out at me. - F Scott Fitzgerald

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

Now that women are jockeys, baseball umpires, atomic scientists, and business executives, maybe someday they can master parallel parking. - Bill Vaughan

If I'm ever stuck on a respirator or a life support system, I definitely want to be unplugged, but not until I'm down to a size eight. - Henriette Mantel

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright

Car Pool: Complicated system of transportation where Mom always winds up going the furthest with the biggest bunch of kids who have had the most sugar - Daffynitions joe-ks.com