Parking Forever

Parking is such street sorrow. - Herb Caen

Chop your own path. Get off the car track. - A.Y. Jackson

A roof stretching over the Atlantic Ocean. - Ernest Bevin

Broom parking only; all others will be toad. - Unknown

Feminism is a wonderful idea until the car goes wrong. - Nicola Zweig

If you do a job too well, you'll get stuck with it. - Unknown

The time to repair the roof is when the sun is shining. - John F Kennedy

Diamonds are only lumps of coal that stuck to their jobs. - Malcolm Forbes

Auto racing began 5 minutes after the second car was built. - Henry Ford

Germany is a fortress, but it is a fortress without a roof. - Franklin D Roosevelt

You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck

I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner

The harpsichord sounds like two skeletons copulating on a corrugated roof. - Thomas Beecham

A private railroad car is not an acquired taste. One takes to it immediately. - Eleanor R. Belmont

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars. - Erma Bombeck

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip

I stuck my head out the window this morning and spring kissed my bang in the face. - Langston Hughes

The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical. - Murray Walker

Intelligence is like a 4 wheel drive - it allows you to get stuck in more remote places. - Garrison Keillor

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone... when I came back the entire area was missing. - Steven Wright

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries

The lead car is absolutely, truly unique, except for the one behind it which is exactly identical. - Murray Walker

When Henry Ford made cheap, reliable cars people said, 'Nah, what's wrong with a horse?' - Elon Musk

There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pick-up truck, and end up with a station wagon. - Tim Allen

When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. - Tom Hodgkinson

What would you do if you were stuck in one place and every day was exactly the same, and nothing you did mattered? - Bill Murray

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

A relationship without trust is like a car without gas. You can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere. - Jay Shetty

A tom cat hijacked a plane, stuck a pistol into the pilot's ribs and demanded, "Take me to the Canaries." - Bob Monkhouse

I'm not a car guy. The subway gets me where I need to go efficiently and cheaply, and I don't worry about traffic. - Joe Scarborough

Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright

My imagination persisted in sticking horrors into the dark- so I stuck my imagination into the dark instead, and let it look out at me. - F Scott Fitzgerald

A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz