QuotaBillsIn a pig's dye - Archie Bunker
Racist Pig: A hog on wheels - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
That'll do, pig, that'll do. - Babe
If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled? - George Carlin
Valentine's Day is the poet's holiday. - Ted Kooser
When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty. - Unknown
You want people to think you live in a pig's eye? - Archie Bunker
I claim there ain't another Saint as great as Valentine. - Ogden Nash
Valentine hearts beat more passionately than everyday hearts. - Unknown
Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight, and bull-strong. - Unknown
Look a pig in its eyes, and understand the truth behind bacon. - Mango Wodzak
Valentine's Day is like Armistice Day - you declare a truce. - Milton Berle
Without Valentine's Day, February would be... well, January. - Jim Gaffigan
Lawsuit: a machine you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. - Ambrose Bierce
Today is Valentine's Day - or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day. - Jay Leno
Valentine's day without your love is like a year without the Internet. - Santosh Kalwar
Pigs had just officially sprouted wings and were flying alongside airplanes. - Jennifer L Armentrout
Valentine's Day is the day when you remember that Cupid was a lousy shot. - Milton Berle
She was nice to him on Valentine's Day. She gave him a heart-shaped rash. - Milton Berle
Never attempt to teach a pig to sing; it wastes your time and annoys the pig. - Robert A. Heinlein
Working with Julie Andrews is like getting hit over the head with a valentine. - Christopher Plummer
I'm like the kid in kindergarten; I really do send valentines to everyone. - Susie Bright
Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. - Ambrose Bierce
All my wife wanted for Valentine's Day was a little card - American Express. - Milton Berle
Oh, if it be to choose and call thee mine, love, thou art every day my Valentine! - Thomas Hood
If my Valentine you won't be,
I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree. - Ernest Hemingway
To the romantic soul, the rituals of Valentine's Day echo every day of the year. - Richelle E. Goodrich
On Valentine's Day, I wired flowers for my mother-in-law, but she found the fuse. - Milton Berle
I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals. - Winston Churchill
Don't ever wrestle with a pig. You'll both get dirty, but the pig will enjoy it. - Cale Yarborough
All of us are guinea pigs in the laboratory of God. Humanity is just a work in progress. - Tennessee Williams
Valentine's Day - a nice holiday because it's the first day of the rest of your wife. - Milton Berle
The only thing that can break a piece of Valentine candy is another piece of Valentine candy. - Milton Berle
Valentine's Day money-saving tip: Break up on February 13th, get back together on the 15th. - David Letterman
I love Valentine's Day! I love it, I love it, I love it. I like having doors opened for me. - Ginnifer Goodwin
My wife is a real Puritan. She thinks licking the stamp on the envelope of a Valentine is foreplay. - Milton Berle
Why buy flowers for Valentine's Day? Just go to a cemetery and collect a dozen off a few graves. - Jarod Kintz
The thing about Valentine's day is that people discover who are single and who to feel jealous of. - Faye Morgan
If he don't go calling the cops “pigs” or one of those other epilets, he'll be all right. - Archie Bunker
Working mothers are guinea pigs in a scientific experiment to show that sleep is not necessary to human life. - Unknown
The pig is not just pork chops and bacon and ham to us. The pig is a co-laborer in this great land-healing ministry. - Joel Salatin
Valentine's Day: Rubbing singles' noses in their lack of a mate and the noses of couples in their lack of time. - Emma McLaughlin
I like to do things for my wife on Valentine's Day. I open the door for her when she puts laundry in the washing machine. - Milton Berle
The difference between involvement and commitment is like an eggs and ham breakfast: the chicken was involved, the pig was committed. - Unknown
My son really has the spirit of Valentine's Day. When he was in college, he used to send his mother a heart-shaped box of laundry. - Milton Berle
Edible: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
This Valentine's Day rent a poem for your loved. They come in three sizes - small, medium, and romantic. Free refills available to Premium Members. - Jarod Kintz
My wife sent me a Valentine card that said, "Take my heart, take my lips, take my soul." That's just like her. She kept the good parts for herself. - Milton Berle
Non-Muslims in Saudi Arabia can only celebrate Valentine's Day behind closed doors. Apparently, this has led to a huge black market for flowers and wrapping paper. - John Niven
Noah must have taken into the Ark two taxes, one male and one female. And did they multiply bountifully! Next to guinea pigs, taxes must have been the most prolific animals. - Will Rogers
The difference between "involvement" and "commitment" is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was "involved" - the pig was "committed". - Unknown
Hollywood wanted to change my birthdate. I was born after Valentine's Day, so they wanted to change it to February 14. A Latin lover should be born on Valentine's Day. I said no. - Cesar Romero
I don't understand why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentine's Day. When I think about romance, the last thing on my mind is a short, chubby toddler coming at me with a weapon. - Unknown
Valentine's Day is when stores and restaurants get rich, men get lucky, and women fill their pretty faces with chocolate and put up with their man for six seconds at the end of the night. - Unknown
Megyn Kelly: You've called women you don't like "fat pigs," "dogs," "slobs," and "disgusting animals."
Donald Trump: Only Rosie O'Donnell. - Donald Trump
The wolf sniffed beneath the door to be sure this was a human cottage. The scent was undeniable. No pigs, except in bacon form. The wolf thought bacon form was a very sensible way for pigs to behave. - Vivian Vande Velde