#1 humor site on the 'net

Police Gas

Road search for the worst hosers

Police Gas thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Texas police cars are always ready for their next fill-up

Quick turnaround from 'on petrol' to 'on patrol'

QuotaBills
Excitement to riot - Archie Bunker

Not failure, but low aim, is crime. - J. R. Lowell

Marchin' in all the peace riots. - Archie Bunker

A riot is the language of the unheard. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

A friend to honesty and a foe to crime. - Allan Pinkerton

Go pump some neurons. Expand your craniums. - Robin Williams

Behind every great fortune there is a crime. - Honore de Balzac

Is it a bigger crime to rob a bank or to open one? - Ted Allan

The police are recruited from the criminal classes. - Gore Vidal

The police must obey the law while enforcing the law. - Earl Warren

Stop crime at its source - support planned parenthood. - Robert Byrne

You can't stop a thing by makin' a crime of it. - Kin Hubbard

I think crime pays. The hours are good, and you travel a lot. - Woody Allen

The world's second-most crime is boredom; the first is being a bore. - Cecil Beaton

My loathings are simple: stupidity, oppression, crime, cruelty, soft music. - Vladimir Nabokov

The police force cannot be completely independent of the executive government. - P Chidambaram

From every Englishman emanates a kind of gas, the deadly choke-lamp of boredom. - Heinrich Heine

If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? - George Carlin

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them? - George Carlin

Tabloid: 1. A newspaper with a permanent crime wave; 2. A screamlined newspaper. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Never think that war, no matter how necessary, nor how justified, is not a crime. - Ernest Hemingway

Let's commit the perfect crime. I'll steal your heart, and you steal mine. - Meryl Streep

Police: The only people who are paid to go around pinching people in the wrong places - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I'm the only woman who can walk in Central Park at night... and reduce the crime rate. - Phyllis Diller

A man has reached middle age when he is warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police. - Unknown

Dear heart, please stop getting involved in everything. You job is to pump blood, that's it. - Unknown

The police feel that most of the public are against them and that there is a lot of bad feeling. - Peter James

A police force, wherever they are, is made up of amazing people, and I respect them a great deal. - Nancy McKeon

Police officers may drive black and white cars, however what goes on in their job is a lot of gray. - Arik Matson

We don't seem to be able to check crime, so why not legalize it and then tax it out of business. - Will Rogers

Women are like the police. They could have all the evidence in the world, but they still want the confession. - Chris Rock

In school, every period ends with a bell. Every sentence ends with a period. Every crime ends with a sentence. - Steven Wright

A benefit of any job is laughter. It should never be a crime to have fun on the job. It may be a crime not to. - Terry Paulson

The wonderful world of home appliances now makes it possible to cook indoors with charcoal and outdoors with gas. - Bill Vaughan

I haven't reported my missing credit card to the police because whoever stole it is spending less than my wife. - Ilie Nastase

The reason gas prices are so high is because the oil is in Texas and Oklahoma and all the dipsticks are in Washington. - Yakov Smirnoff

I'm being kidnapped by a comforter, sheet and pillow. No need to call the police for I will be released by morning. - Unknown

When I was a kid, one cop could have taken care of the whole neighborhood. Now, one cop wouldn't be safe in the neighborhood. - Mike Royko

There is a blessed necessity by which the interest of men is always driving them to the right, and making all crime mean and ugly. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Money is like gasoline during a road trip. You don't want to run out of gas on your trip, but you're not doing a tour of gas stations. - Tim O'Reilly


Camper Tank

Shipley Donut Pants

Distressing Artwork

Child's Motorcycle Helmet

Montana Mountain Bike

Sealtastic

Bland Entrance

Cruising Advice

Cat Dugout

Open Drive Through

Secret Revealed

Tired Flagpole

Bent Car Sculpture

Cow Jacket

Thanks For Noticing

Overflow Truck Garden

Beach Sign Training

Encouraging Seal

GMC Pool

Nature Calls

You're Home Early

New Nail Gun

Long Noodles

EMS Upgrade