#1 humor site on the 'net

Post Halloween Stress

Cashing in on post-Halloween candy sales

Post Halloween Stress thanks to Keith Blake

Sponsored by happy Dentists around the world

Post Halloween Stress thanks to Keith Blake

Post Halloween Stress thanks to Keith Blake

QuotaBills
So many horrid Ghosts. - William Shakespeare

No gold, no Holy Ghost. - Samuel Butler

Ghost Writer: Spooksman - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Hot Chocolate: Stolen candy - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I only eat candy on Halloween. - Michael Trevino

Ghost: A shadow of its former self - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Art is a house that tries to be haunted. - Emily Dickinson

I've made a career off of Halloween. - Cassandra Peterson

My only career goal is to be a Halloween icon. - Nuno Roque

Acting is like a Halloween mask that you put on. - River Phoenix

Halloween is an opportunity to be really creative. - Judy Gold

It's easier to dismiss ghosts in the daylight. - Patricia Briggs

Produce great pumpkins, the pies will follow later. - Unknown

Costumes and scenery alone will not attract audiences. - Anna Held

At night, here in the library, the ghosts have voices. - Alberto Manguel

Graveyards were the one place Belladonna never saw ghosts. - Helen Stringer

Trips to the dentist - I like to postpone that kind of thing. - Johnny Depp

To be haunted is to glimpse a truth that might best be hidden. - James Herbert

A house with old furniture has no need of ghosts to be haunted. - Hope Mirrlees

A dentist at work in his vocation always looks down in the mouth. - George D. Prentice

As a child, the only clear thought I had was "Get candy." - Jerry Seinfeld

Nothing on Earth so beautiful as the final haul on Halloween night. - Steve Almond

A grandmother pretends she doesn't know who you are on Halloween. - Erma Bombeck

Misers part with nothing until they die. Then they give up the ghost. - Latin Proverb

If a patient cannot clean his teeth, no dentist can clean them for him. - Martin H. Fischer

The idea of dying and coming back is what makes the Halloween films work. - Donald Pleasence

I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie. - Rodney Dangerfield

We're all just ghosts on a wire seeking the prick of an electric thought. - Robert Fanney

When black cats prowl and pumpkins gleam,
May luck be yours on Halloween. - Unknown

This poor pumpkin gave in to rot,
and all that's left is pumpkin snot. - Shirley Thomas

I love you more than pumpkin spice latte but please don't make me prove it! - Unknown

My favorite word is 'pumpkin.' You are a pumpkin. Or you are not. I am. - Harrison E. Salisbury

I went to a haunted house, looked under the kitchen table, and found spirit gum. - Steven Wright

In one aspect, yes, I believe in ghosts, but we create them. We haunt ourselves. - Laurie H. Anderson

The people you love become ghosts inside of you, and like this you keep them alive. - Rob Montgomery

If suffering brought wisdom, the dentist's office would be full of luminous ideas. - Mason Cooley

The ghosts of things that never happened are worse than the ghosts of things that did. - L.M. Montgomery

Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread and pumpkin pie. - Jim Davis

I get more distracted by hair or a really bad wig than I do costumes any day of the week. - Colleen Atwood

Monsters are real, and ghosts are real, too. They live inside us, and sometimes they win. - Stephen King

Maybe all the people who say ghosts don't exist are just afraid to admit that they do. - Michael Ende

Message boards are like going to a Halloween masquerade party. Everybody has a screen name. - John Mackey

The only thing that can break a piece of Valentine candy is another piece of Valentine candy. - Milton Berle

Make pumpkin bread as the default gift for everyone. It is cheap, it is beloved, it is carbs. - Karen Bender

I unfortunately still crave chicken McNuggets and bacon, which is the meat candy of the world. - Katy Perry

A physician buries his mistakes, a dentist pulls them out, but a teacher has to live with them. - Unknown

I love to put on a wig, a costume, inhabit a different world and be called something different. - Susan Egan

Being in a band you can wear whatever you want - it's like an excuse for Halloween every day. - Gwen Stefani

I never really address myself to any image anybody has of me. That's like fighting with ghosts. - Sally Field

I'd rather sit alone on a pumpkin and have it all to myself than be crowded on a velvet cushion. - Henry David Thoreau

I live at the dentist's. I'm on my third set of teeth that they put in with nails and screws. - Charles N. Reilly

Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill. - Johnny Carson

We used to go around tipping outhouses over, or turning over corn shocks on Halloween. Anything to be mean. - Loretta Lynn

I see my face in the mirror and go, 'I'm a Halloween costume? That's what they think of me?' - Drew Carey

Nudist Colony Halloween parties are especially scary. They give the word 'moon' a new cruel meaning. - Ray Palla

The house smelled musty and damp, and a little sweet, as if it were haunted by the ghosts of long-dead cookies. - Neil Gaiman

Are you going to answer my questions, or do I have to whack you with a stick until delicious candy surprises fall out? - Molly Harper

I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare

It's a funny relationship that makeup artists have. I always feel kind of like a dentist. People look at me and think of pain. - Rick Baker

It is good for a man to invite his ghosts into his warm interior, out of the wild night, into the firelight, out of the howling dark. - A.S. Byatt

Halloween is one of my favorite days of the year. I have a strict rule: I don't work on Halloween and I won't travel on Halloween. - Simon Sinek

New Pasta Diet: Just walk pasta bakery without stopping. Walk pasta candy store without stopping. Walk pasta ice cream shop without stopping. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Instead of doing cinnamon, nutmeg, and all those baking spices I'll have one spice that's for sweets, and that's pumpkin pie spice. - Sandra Lee

I love the scents of winter! For me, it's all about the feeling you get when you smell pumpkin spice, cinnamon, nutmeg, gingerbread and spruce. - Taylor Swift

I am keeping with tradition today. After I learned of my Golden Globe nomination, I went to the dentist, so today, let's make it the orthodontist. - Frankie Muniz


2022 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

VW Snow Tractor

Math Riddle

Maiden Rock Illusion

Radioactive Games

Winter Bystander

Snow Good

Which One's Real?

Enough Art Supplies

Chinese Watermelon Sculptures

Sea Sand Art

Spot the Mistake

Image Challenge

Stroller Snow Tires

Is The Warming Still Global?

Snow Drifts Inside Your Car

Redneck Potter's Wheel

Winter Sucks

Chainsaw Art

Spot the Hidden Cell Tower

How Cumulus Clouds Are Formed

Snow Is Coming

Spot The Clock

Gay Football