#1 humor site on the 'net

Putting Your Foot Down

Perfect fit for the man of your dreams

Putting Your Foot Down thanks to Mike King

Is he getting to be a heel around the house?

QuotaBills
For most of history, Anonymous was a woman. - Virginia Woolf

Age to women is like Kryptonite to Superman. - Kathy Lette

Behind every good woman is a lot of chocolate. - Unknown

Chocolate: God's apology to women for periods. - Unknown

A woman can keep one secret - the secret of her age. - Voltaire

I've been told I'm a role model to many women. - Donald Trump

I like men who have a future and women who have a past. - Oscar Wilde

Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another. - H L Mencken

A woman can say more in a sigh than a man can say in a sermon. - Arnold Haultain

There's a lot involved in going to the bathroom for women. - Leah Remini

The only place men want depth in a woman is in her decolletage. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

Women's styles may change but their designs remain the same. - Oscar Wilde

I've never struck a woman in my life, not even my own mother. - WC Fields

Women with pasts interest men. They hope history will repeat itself. - Mae West

How do you feel about women's rights? I like either side of them. - Groucho Marx

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them. - Unknown

That woman speaks eighteen languages and can't say no in any of them. - Dorothy Parker

If women can be railroad workers in Russia, why can't they fly in space? - Valentina Tereshkova

A woman will flirt with anybody in the world as long as other people are looking on. - Oscar Wilde

Women have a hard enough time in this world; telling them the truth would be too cruel. - H L Mencken

Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren't. - Margaret Thatcher

Men marry because they are tired, women because they are curious; both are disappointed. - Oscar Wilde

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. - Robert A. Heinlein

Feminism was established so as to allow unattractive women access to the mainstream of society. - Rush Limbaugh

My love life is terrible. The last time I was inside a woman was when I visited the Statue of Liberty. - Woody Allen

The fickleness of the women I love is only equalled by the infernal constancy of the women who love me. - George Bernard Shaw

If women want any rights more than they got, why don't they just take them and not be talking about it? - Sojourner Truth

Sex between a man and a woman can be wonderful, provided you get between the right man and the right woman. - Woody Allen

A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold. - Ogden Nash

I wanted to be the first woman to burn her bra, but it would have taken the fire department four days to put it out. - Dolly Parton

There is nothing in the world like the devotion of a married woman. It is a thing no married man knows anything about. - Oscar Wilde

People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it's safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs. - Unknown

Hosting the Oscars is much like making love to a woman. It's something I only get to do when Billy Crystal is out of town. - Steve Martin

Love is the thing that enables a woman to sing while she mops up the floor after her husband has walked across it in his barn boots. - Hoosier Farmer

Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman - or a bad woman - it depends on how much happiness you can handle. - George Burns

A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: Duh. - Conan O'Brien

Now I lay facedown on the bed, sobbing for the woman who once slept here not knowing that someday one of her worst fears would come true. - Jennifer Castle

Every man and woman is born into the world to do something unique and distinctive, and if he or she does not do it, it will never be done. - Benjamin E. Mays

I was just so lucky with 'Real Women Have Curves.' At that point, I would have done an insurance commercial. I would have done anything. - America Ferrera

Never play cards with a man called Doc, never eat at a place called Mom's, and never sleep with a woman whose troubles are worse than your own. - Nelson Algren


Ankle Warning

Peanut Sale

Beer Chess

Astronomy Perspective

Wolf Chase

Coffee Caricature

The Working Man

North of Somewhere

Salmon Bikini

Mexican Phys Ed Classes

Parasite Trivia

Plug Puller

Steamworks Bathroom

Another Repost

Pipeline Protesters

Bread Gloves

Winterpeg Warm

Pen Sale Not

Soda Bottle Boat

Raccoon Rock

Cement Truck Lane

Air Wakanda

Birthday Bonus

Harrison Ford