Racial Profiling Starts Early

Insomnia is my greatest inspiration. - Jon Stewart

Eat: What kids do between meals, but not at them - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Goat Herder: A person who likes to work with kids - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

We've had bad luck with our kids - they've all grown up. - Christopher Morley

Dubm Waiter: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I don't own a camera, so I travel with a police sketch artist. - George Carlin

Jackpot: When all the kids stay at friends' homes for the night - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. - Red Buttons

Bed and Breakfast: Two things the kids will never make for themselves - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration. - Thomas Edison

All kids are gifted: some just open their packages earlier than others. - Michael Carr

Kids: they dance before they learn there is anything that isn't music. - William Stafford

Sleeping is my drug; my bed is my dealer; and my alarm clock is the police. - Unknown

The hardest job kids face today is learning good manners without seeing any. - Fred Astaire

I'm pretty intentional about being highly invested in my kids' lives. - Mark Batterson

My wife and I have a tradition of popcorn and videos with our kids on Friday evenings. - Ozwald Boateng

If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like. - Phyllis Diller

Zucchini: Vegetable which can be baked, boiled, fried or steamed before kids refuse to eat it - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Success is 1 percent inspiration, 99 percent perspiration, and 2 percent attention to detail. - Phil

I invite everyone to choose forgiveness rather than division, teamwork over personal ambition. - Jean-Francois Cope

The police feel that most of the public are against them and that there is a lot of bad feeling. - Peter James

I think of inspiration as desire infused with spirit and topped with an almost reckless optimism. - Fred White

Golden Age: When the kids are too old to need baby-sitters and too young to borrow the family car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You know how kids dream of being soccer players or actors? Well, my dream was to be a sushi chef. - Nobu Matsuhisa

Success is the good fortune that comes from aspiration, desperation, perspiration and inspiration. - Evan Esar

I just want to make sure when I have kids, I can spend time with them. That's the whole point. - Mark Zuckerberg

All kids are trouble, Edith. And I don't wanna spend my reclining years trying to raise another one. - Archie Bunker

You know what it's like having five kids? Imagine you're drowning. And someone hands you a baby. - Jim Gaffigan

When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out. - Erma Bombeck

The men who have furnished me with my greatest inspiration have not been men of wealth, but men of deeds. - James C Penney

One in four kids have either pre-diabetes or diabetes - what I like to call diabesity. How did this happen? - Mark Hyman

I love to go to a movie, get a Diet Coke and a barrel of popcorn, and sit there with my kids and watch a film. - William Shatner

Teamwork makes the dream work, but a vision becomes a nightmare when the leader has a big dream and a bad team. - John C Maxwell

You know you're a mom when you go to the store for yourself and come out with a bag of things for your kids. - Unknown

I'm being kidnapped by a comforter, sheet and pillow. No need to call the police for I will be released by morning. - Unknown

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

Don't give up trying to do what you really want to do. Where there is love and inspiration, I don't think you can go wrong. - Ella Fitzgerald

Having kids - the responsibility of rearing good, kind, ethical, responsible human beings - is the biggest job anyone can embark on. - Maria Shriver

When I know that, if I have no inspiration whatsoever, when I come and I just feel empty, I have nothing, I know that I can still play the scene. - Christopher Walken

If your kids are giving you a headache, follow the directions on the aspirin bottle, especially the part that says, 'keep away from children.' - Susan Savannah