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Redneck Driving Instructions

Bubba's Post-It Notes come handy for map coordinates

Redneck Driving Instructions thanks to Cathy Young

Comes with 'Supply Your Own Voice' audio assistance

QuotaBills
You can send a lot of instruction through laughter. - Jeffrey Tambor

Stress should be a powerful driving force, not an obstacle. - Bob Phillips

You couldn't handle me even if I came with instructions. - Unknown

Safety Belt: The one you don't drink before driving home - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Everyone makes fun of the Redneck until the Zombie Apocalypse. - Unknown

I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright

Taxi Driver: Worker who earns a living by driving customers away - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Have fun, be active. Ride a bike instead of driving, for example. - Dan Buettner

Stories are memory aids, instruction manuals and moral compasses. - Aleks Krotoski

Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. - Budd Schulberg

Low self-esteem is like driving through life with your hand-break on. - Maxwell Maltz

My driving abilities from Mexico have helped me get through Hollywood. - Salma Hayek

Instruction ends in the schoolroom, but education ends only with life. - Frederick M Robertson

The unassuming youth seeking instruction with humility gains good fortune. - Joseph Addison

You ain't going nowhere, son. You ought to go back to driving a truck. - Jim Denny

Instructions for living a life: Pay attention. Be astonished. Tell about it. - Mary Oliver

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

You got to have smelt a lot of mule manure before you can sing like a hillbilly. - Hank Williams

Sometimes when you look in his eyes you get the feeling that someone else is driving. - David Letterman

When I got outta High School I was driving a truck. I was just a poor boy from Memphis. - Elvis Presley

Life as pool table,
White is focus,
Others, targets.
Stick is your driving force! - Stricketer

Most of American life is driving somewhere and then driving back wondering why the hell you went. - John Updike

You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather. - Jeff Foxworthy

There are only three ages for women in Hollywood: Babe, District Attorney, and Driving Miss Daisy. - Goldie Hawn

Animals are like little children a bit. They're simple. They don't have politics driving them. - Annabelle Sabloff

You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy

The greatest men sometimes overshoot themselves, but then their very mistakes are so many lessons of instruction. - Tom Browne

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? - George Carlin

If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 2,000 MPG. - Bill Gates

There is a blessed necessity by which the interest of men is always driving them to the right, and making all crime mean and ugly. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze

Mancation: A man's vacation. Generally includes lots of beer, a Redneck grill, slabs of meat for cooking and a sack of fireworks. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Eating a tuna roll at a sushi restaurant should be considered no more environmentally benign than driving a Hummer or harpooning a manatee. - Daniel Pauly

The rhythm of the footsteps, the sound of whatever is coming down the ladder is driving both me and my mom steadily toward peeing our pants. - Kendare Blake

Hypothesis: 1. First thing a Redneck teenager says to his father on the phone; 2. Hippo, horse; thesis, placing: putting something on a horse. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com


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